Karen Drucker (marvelous awesome affirmative woman) has a song which starts like this:
"What do I want? What do I desire? What will bring me to my highest good?"
As a champion of choices, this question makes me clench up. "What do I want?'
I DON'T KNOW!
Well, okay. That's a lie. I do know.
I want to ask for something, apply for something, put out a flyer or a book or a prayer, and have the answer be YES! Done. Total happiness forever and ever. Go forth and manifest!
I do believe this can happen.
I just have to ask for the right thing.
Right?
But...
...what if I get a yes, and I try something and I don't like it and I have to change my mind and do something else?
...what if I get a yes, and I create connections and commitments and then I change and outgrow the situation?
...what if I get a yes and it's everything I hoped for and I still feel this searching desire for more?
So the right thing has to be the REALLY right thing.
The greatest and highest good for ALL TIME.
No pressure, right?
Oh, yeah.
No wonder few people want to accept responsibility for themselves. So much easier to say "I have to do this because it's the law."
Or, "I have to do that because that's how it works."
Or, "If they really want me, they'll come find me, right?"
Marvelous things can happen in this universe, including a peaceful resolution to hatred and fear, but it's not going to happen (at least in my reality) without me actually doing something.
I have to be the love, the happiness, the asking, the trying, the choosing, the trying again, the growing I wish to see in my world.
Because it is my world. And I have as much right to say something about it as anyone else.
What do I fear? More than rejection or inclusion, more than homelessness or commitment?
That when the time comes for me to judge myself and my actions, I will look back on my life and judge myself unworthy.
What do I desire? My own respect.
So, time to make another choice.
What do I want, today?
I hope you are having a great day!
-Lila
