The hero in me honors the hero in you

As a society, we honor and revere people who do extra-ordinary things. Life saving, death defying, super human things. We put these people, these skilled and amazing beings, up on pedestals and we sometimes allow ourselves to feel small because we are not stronger than a speeding bullet or richer than Neptune.

But the thing is, these heroes, these amazing beings, aren't any more awesome than you or me. They are simply being themselves to the best of their ability. They are really good at what they've chosen to do - yes, totally. And they work very hard at what they do. But still, the things we consider heroic or awesome are merely byproducts of them being themselves 100%.

I am not saying this to denigrate the accomplishments of our heroes, corporeal and fictional. I am saying this to expand our awareness of ourselves.

We are all heroes.

Every day, we get out of bed. Every day we live. Every day, we go about our business. And we smile at our friends, and we help strangers, and we toil and we think and we talk and we connect or we don't as we feel able. Every day we spend time and thought and effort. Every day, we each are ourselves to the best of our ability.

Every day, we are heroes. Not "Ordinary heroes". Not "super heroes". Just heroes. Because sweeping the sidewalk with care is just as important as pulling puppies from burning buildings. And helping a customer find a book is as life-altering as building a school in a war torn country.

Because when we are ourselves, and we do the best we can, we become shiny. We become confident. We walk with knowledge of power. And we inspire that powerful walk in others. We awaken the confidence. We spark the shiny. We validate the hero in each other.

Every day, we change the lives of every one we connect with. Every day! We smile where there wasn't a smile before, or we cry where there were no tears.

Every day, we move and act and choose and believe or not, and we change the world.

Every day we are heroes.

Every day, you are a hero. Just by being you. And the more you you are, the more you do what you do and be what you be, the more heroic you become.

And so do I.

The hero in me honors the hero in you. Thank you, for choosing to save the world today!

-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome - Give it up!

I have come to the conclusion that human beings are naturally hoarders. We live to possess - things, experiences, people. We judge ourselves by the accumulation of skills, friends, money, and objects.

Memories.

Choices.

Mistakes.

Dramas.

We hoard our dramas. We collect negative outcomes and brood over oppressive scenarios. We linger lovingly over the ills and sorrows and downswings.

And further, we throw down these experiences like cards in a poker game. I see your sprained ankle and I raise you a compound fracture. We revel in our collections of broken dreams.

And then we go home and we sit up into the dark of the night and we wonder why our lives suck. And we fret about more future problems. And we console ourselves that at least our collection does not include dictators, or abuse, or homelessness, or whatever condition is actually worse than our own. And we convince ourselves that we are happy with our collection of experiences, because we are better off than someone else.

Now, we know, most of us, because many successful people have said it, that the real key to happiness, to a non-sucky life, is to let go of this collection. To free ourselves of the dragging weight of past patterns; to revel in the awesomeness of the moment; to eradicate the grim possibilities of the future based on current difficult circumstances. To BELIEVE.

But how does one let go? Let be? Release?

Is it even possible, for most humans? Because our natural inclination is to gather. To claim. To possess. To use.

These are not bad traits. These traits are what have allowed us, as a species, to thrive.We use what is around us. We gather and create. We claim, and by claiming something, we connect with it, we care about it. We love it. And that love drives us. So we come to love, to connect with anything we consider ours. Including debt, hate, fear, pain, and future tragedies.

And just letting them go, no matter how painful they are, seems wasteful. Or even harmful to others. Because we know those possibilities exist - so if we just let them fly into the wind, will they land on someone else, some innocent? Better to just keep them, and deal with them.

Well, I believe there is another way.

I believe, actually, that this is where the connection with something more expansive than ourselves is important.

Because if you believe in a God, Goddess, Spirit, the Universe, the Divine, or a pantheon or reality or collective that is expansive enough to encompass the whole of the world, omnipotent enough to be aware of every falling dove, connected enough to be constantly present, strong enough to accept each and every one of us - if you believe in a Greatness, then you have a way to get rid of your hoard of pain.

You can give it up. Hand it over. Place it into the care of the Great Awareness.

Obviously, this immense Being (who is Omnipotent and Omnipresent, and has been around since the beginning of our collective thoughts) is capable of handling anything. Has experienced all of it already. In fact, cannot be surprised by any possibility. And cannot be eradicated by it either.

Obviously, this is no young innocent, wandering blithely through the world. This is the Universe! Obviously, having already experienced all of the atrocities and joys in the entire world, this Awareness can handle any of the crap we have gone through, or fear to go through.

And with all of the horrors, the Spirit has experienced ALL of the joys to balance.

And if you believe, as I do, that we are part of the Divine, that means whatever we experience, fear, love, feel and be and do is felt and done by the Divine as well.

So really, we're just giving to God what She already has.

So give it up. Hand it over. Let the Universe carry the burdens. It is big and strong. It has survived everything. It still creates beauty. The sun still rises. The rainbows still come out and the birds still sing.

And we can always take it back - the pain, the horror, the past, the future - if we really want.

But I can tell you from experience, when you give it up, you realize how little you needed it in the first place. Because when you GIVE, you have room for new things to come into play. You have room to breathe and expand and allow.

You have room to RECEIVE.

Give up the fear. And see what flows gently, softly, quietly in to take it's place.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

What am I dreaming?

If you're like me, you're an advocate for following your dreams. Go for the gold. Reach that star and grab the brass ring!

And so, if you're like me, it seems almost sacrilegious to be looking for a job.

Yes, that's right. I'm going back on the market. Because, you know, I like to eat. And have walls between myself and my mountains when I choose. And I haven't purchased new shoes in AGES!

And I find the prevalent emotion I'm feeling is confusion. Because shouldn't I be devastated that my writing hasn't paid off? Shouldn't I be railing at the universe and tearing my hair and berating myself for not working harder, faster, whatever?

But I'm not. (Okay - I'm not anymore. I did already go through that frustration, and I thank all those who have listened to me vent.)

Now, I'm actually asking myself a different question.

Is writing really my dream?

Don't get me wrong. I love writing. I love the physical act of it, and I love the creation aspect. I love the mystery and the playing with words and the way things just seem to fall into place. I love the database of characters and the time lines and the 1000 different ideas I have stored away on the computer.

But...

But...

What does it produce? What does it do? What is the purpose of my writing?

When I put a book in a customer's hand, I know what I'm producing. There is a tangible sense of completion and accomplishment. There is a purpose.

When I reconcile a bank statement, or file a stack of papers, or even pay a bill, there is an immediate return on the energy investment.

When I listen to a customer or client, when I do a reading, when I sing at the bedside, there is an active participation of self and other. A connection, perhaps.

When I am writing, there is none of this. Even when I know I am writing for a specific audience. Even as I am writing this. There is no active exchange. There is no expectation of return.

This is a passive connection.

And I'm thinking that, despite my love for the writing, I need more.

Is my passion, my purpose, my dream (whatever it may be) actually more active? More direct? More immediate?

Because I have had plenty of opportunity to make this work, this writing thing. Options and avenues and learning moments. And I am still here, facing a story of great busy-ness, but little satisfaction. Even taking the monetary aspect out of the picture, I have little to show for all my trying.

I can honestly say I did my best every day. I lived my truth every day. And I remember days of great joy, coming down from the writing high. I remember profound statements and moments of philosophical rightness.

But here I am. Needing more. Redoing my resume; evaluating what I want to be next.

And the answer is not writer. Or, not only writer. Maybe writing is my hobby.

Interestingly, I always made the most progress on my books when I was employed full-time outside the home.

"No regrets" is one of my tools. I know that I could only have come here through the choices I made. I am grateful for the practice.

I am more grateful for the time I was able to give to myself - to the recovery of all the events that have transformed my life these last 7 years.

I am grateful for the ability to move ahead.

The future is going to be interesting. I'm looking forward to it, and to finding out what my new dreams are.

I hope you're having a great, and satisfying, day.

-Lila

Spring! (Aka - Happy Imbolc!)

Whoo hoo! We did it! We made it to the beginning of spring.

And yeah, if you're like me, here in Colorado, it does not LOOK like spring.
But it has been smelling like it - that wet earthy tang of life coming back.
And even as I type this, the sun is brighter than it was a few minutes ago. (I do love my Colorado!)

Let the Growth begin!

I hope you have a great Imbolc,

-Lila

If you're like me... Working in Writing

If you’re like me, you’re in the middle of this interesting journey called “looking for work.” Not just a job, but work – the “I am what I do” kind of work. The kind where something you love puts food on the table and vacations in your memory.

If you’re like me, your work is creative.

If you’re specifically like me, you’re a writer. The feel of the keyboard is like the sound of waves to a surfer. The ideas come thick and fast. And, it turns out, so do the possibilities.

Almost too fast. Way too thick.

Because, if you’re like me, you started with the certainty that to be a writer meant to be published -- in magazine or book form -- and peddled through bookstores. But you’ve recently discovered just how many opportunities there are for your special skills. Options beyond finding an agent. Options that don’t take a year to reach fulfillment. Options that are actually being actively sought by people who will pay.

But so many options! Copywriter; blog writing; travel writer, greeting cards, and oh, what about editing? Where should we put that precious focus? How do we decide where to start? Because, really, what am I going to like or be good at, besides crafting my stories?

The good news is, most of these options are just another form of sending stories for publication. We can sift through the advertisements like we sift through publishers and agents, gleaning clues about voice and genre and experience. We can see what each company is about, and view samples if they’re provided.

We can pick something that sounds like a fit.

And then we can do the work. Jump in and apply and submit and, praise be to the Muses, write.

If you’re like me, it will take practice finding where and how (and for whom) you want to work. But it’s practice we need as writers anyway. And while we’re winding our way through the possibilities, we’ll be building our portfolios and sharpening our skills.

And at the end of the path, the table and the memories will be full.

I hope you have a great day!

-L

If you're like me... The real cost of bottled water

If you're like me, you've been downsizing.
A lot.
And like any other form of self improvement, just when you think you've hit the lovely, level plateau of accomplishment, another mountain of opportunity is presented.

If you're like me, you're still fluctuating between fiscal franticness and fiscal freedom. And you're probably as tired of reading about my monetary journey as I am of writing about it.
And you know there is more to money that the arbitrary value assigned it by some faceless being somewhere who equates money with power, and expects us all to do the same.
And you know there is more to the COST of a thing, than simply the monetary value assigned.
And you know somewhere, somewhere really close, there is that beautiful place (perhaps a plateau) where money and value and personal happiness and understanding and abundance and connectivity and spiritual bliss all meet and dance.

As a happiness practitioner, money is one of the most difficult things for me to...
...deal with
...face
...understand
...accept
...get a grasp on.
 And I don't think it's all due to my unique view of the Universe. The "economy" aspect is just too slippery, and possibly illusionary, to find a good handle. So I'm left with a mix  of platitudes about work ethics and spiritual wealth that neither agree, nor provide for my happiness at all.

So naturally, as soon as the thought comes to mind that I need to budget, or cut back, or curtail my spending, I become rebellious. "That's not how I want to operate." "That's poverty thinking." "That's giving up on my dreams!"
Which, yes, I suppose some of it is.
But perhaps, since it is something that has happened over and over again, there's more to be looked at.

Like downsizing.

The key to downsizing, at least for me, was to look at something and ask "It is something I use?" (or "something we use", since there is a spouse involved.) And if they answer was, "Oh, yes!" -- even if that use was for comfort, or happy memories -- the item stayed.
And if the answer was, "Well, it's something I want to use," then most often it was released. (True, there were some things that didn't make the first cut. They often made the second.)

One of my quirks is that I believe everything is a form of energy. And energy is meant to be used. Lying fallow does not make the energy more valuable, or less valuable, it simply makes it a resource that isn't being utilized.
So having things that I don't use is almost sacrilegious.

Now I am facing that financial mountain again.
And I am working at it.
I am climbing it. With my keyboard as my pitons and my marvelous exotic brain as my rope, I am making my way up that mountain to the next restful plateau.
But along the way, I still have thoughts - about cutting costs. And slimming down. And. And. And.

And I realized today, it was not poverty thinking, or defeatism. It was the need for more downsizing. Or, a more comfortable, streamlining.

Because how much does a 6 gallon bottle of purified spring water cost? Well, there's the water price, and the bottle deposit price, but you get the bottle deposit back when you exchange and...
Yeah. No. I actually mean, how much does it cost in terms of effort. And what about space.
Part of my work area is taken up with the extra water bottle - because who wants to run out?!. It fits nicely, but it's in the way when I'm doing rune readings, and sometime when I'm practicing my music.
Add to that, the water bottle is heavy. I cannot pick it up. I am reliant upon my spouse to change my water.
Add to that, one has to go to the store to get the water. It does not conveniently appear in my home. (yes there are delivery services. Those involve strangers.)
Add all of those costs - cumbersome bottles, dependency, time and energy to retrieve it - to the monetary cost of the water. That's actually a pretty high, uncomfortable price, if you're like me.

So perhaps it's time to streamline. There is already water coming to the apartment. With absolutely no effort on my part. It is used for multiple things; I LOVE multi-use things. So what's one more thing for which to use it? Add filter, and free up time & space. Yay, streamlining!

So perhaps, if you're like me, the money crunch isn't so much a poverty consciousness, as it is an awareness of all the costs; and further an improvement in the practice of using what you have.

If you're like me, there are still a lot of aspects in life that can use downsizing. Or streamlining. We've done the easy one - the physical visual objects. Now it's time for the next mountain.

What freedom is possible?

I hope you have a great, and multi-useful, day!
-Lila

If you're like me - the feeling of success.

If you're like me, you want to be successful. You yearn to be successful. To be able to hold your head up high and walk amongst your family and peers and say - Finally! I am successful. And of course they applaud and cheer, and you walk away - heck you strut away - sure that you have the respect and admiration of the world.

If you're like me, you're concerned that being successful will change you in unpleasant ways . You could become mean, or selfish in a bad way. You might quit hanging out with the "little people." You might, as so often happens in movies and books, be overwhelmed by the sycophants and forget what's really important. You might buy a house that's too big or clothes you hate wearing or… or… or…

But, if you're like me, you've been this journey for a while, the journey of self-discovery. You've deconstructed and reconstructed yourself so many times, you're not always sure it's really you strutting down the street (and tripping over the invisible lip in the sidewalk, and laughing because you don't care who saw you, shit happens, keep strutting.)

So, if you're like me and you really want to know what you'd be like when you're successful, let's take a little trip. 
Through our very own space.

What would your home (be it house, apartment, car, tent) feel like, if you were successful? How would it change? Before you end up moving into a different house, apartment, car or tent… because, if you're like me, you're pretty happy where you are right now, so being successful is going to come before any moving.

If you're like me, you'll start in the closet. Stare around at the clothes, the shoes. The piles. The laundry basket. When you are successful, what will this closet be like? How will the clothes change? Will there be more shoes? And who will do the laundry?

Moving on. Bedroom (or rooms). What will change in there? What about the bathroom? New towels? New products? Kitchen. Living Room. Oh, here's a biggy. Your home office. How will that change? New electronics? More pens? Again, will someone else do the cleaning? The cooking? Will there be more organizing? Less?

Looking honestly at where you are and what you have, and knowing who you are, can you get a feel for what success will look like, what it will feel like, in this space?

For me, personally, the biggest change will be (I hope) the clothes. They will suit my personality and my body type! Of course, in order to get those clothes, I'm going to have to go to a "real" clothes store. And probably find a personal dresser, or whatever they're called, so I can find out what my style is. Which means one of those scary stores, with bright make-up counters, and clothes easily visible on the racks, and space between the aisles, and clearance items discreetly moved to a whole different building. THOSE stores. Success is not going to change my ability to walk comfortably into one of those stores. Only practice can do that.

Hmm. Maybe it would be more accurate to say success in my closet will look like having the clothes I am comfortable finding and buying.

Kind of like what I have now.

The furniture we want to replace, we'll replace, regardless of the label of success. The electronics run on their own time table which has little to do with success (though more efficient tools might actually help move toward success!) The food won't change; I'll probably still do my own laundry, which means I'll probably still shy away from dry cleaning and the ironing will still be more wish than deed. (so much for finer clothes.) 

In fact, when I look at it that way, the only thing that will really change in this place with success is having someone come in and clean the bathroom. Every week. Rain or shine. And since he/she is here, maybe I'll ask her to clean the kitchen and run the vacuum too. 

I don't even know if we'd want to move. Sure, there are some annoying factors, like only 1 bathroom and air conditioning units outside the window; but other than that, we love our location, the quick drive to the main streets, the view out the back door. Maybe I'd appreciate a little more room to do Tai Chi - I don't know if a water buffalo could lie down in that space.

Now, I do know that one change will be having an actual office outside of the home. Maybe an office suite. Heck, maybe a whole building. Then I can do my Tai Chi there. And my dance parties.

But, to get back on the subject, if you're like me, not much is actually going to look or feel different with the label "success". Maybe finalizing a few changes you already plan to make, but those change don't HAVE to wait for success.

So, if you're like me, success won't really be changing you at all. Success is gonna pretty easy. Pretty normal. No big deal.

In fact, maybe success is closer than we think, and any changes that might have been for the worst have already been dealt with. Pretty awesome. 

So you know what? If you're like me, let's bring on the success!

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila