I admit it. I am feeling pretty fragile these days.
Not in a suicidal way, but in an "I wonder when I am going to break?" way.
All around, more and more things seem to be blowing up or washing away; people sick and injured and dying, the earth burning and drowning. And it feels like the coping mechanisms I am used to relying on are causing more harm than benefit to my body and my mind.
And I practice what I preach: I focus on Happiness. I develop new techniques. I have a fabulous understanding of myself and my needs and what I want to feel like. I am working and being and allowing and receiving.
And then, I look in the mirror, or I wake up to construction, or I open an email. And I feel something nibble at the edges. Poke, poke, poke. Is this the one? Is this the straw? Is this the final nail?
Happily, the answer is "No." Sometimes firmly, sometimes with a sigh, sometimes with a snarky tone, "No." I am still well able. I am still fully connected to my support and to Love. I still know that all these transitions and growing pains and frustrations and painful moments are just moments. I still believe that the world is becoming amazingly beautiful, more every day. I still believe in myself! I am still happy.
Which I guess means I am learning something new. (Always. Yay.)
It is okay to feel fragile too. That fragility, wonderment, questioning -- that is all part of the growing process. All part of living. One of the many fascinating facets of myself.
The thing I get to remember is that even if/when/as I break, I am loved. I am held. I am part of the amazing song of the Heavens.
And, if you don't mind me saying, You are too.
I hope today, even when the fragile moments seem immeasurable, that we can see some beautfy and we can know we are Loved.
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