Enlightenment is Awesome - Juggling Water

I am juggling. I know, I KNOW, if I just let my hands drop, the balls will stay in the air. In fact some of them will float away, because I am no longer trying desparately to attract them to my hand. I know that if I can remove myself from the chaos, get out of the storm all together, that I can be calm and happy and content and not so freaked and sad.

But even that perspective is deceiving. One has to be in the middle of the storm to view its effect. One has to feel the vibes to hear the music. One has to be in the water to be part of the flow.

So. To stand in the torrent. To stand. Not to float or be swept away, but to stand. An isle of calm. To let the water flow around me and through me. To let it flow through me while maintaining my self, my integrity, my needs and desires. Perhaps to even transform it, improve it, lighten it, assist it to be what it needs to be, what the race needs it to be, what my clan and community need it to be.

But, currently, the important part is to maintain my self.  There are likely other lessons later. But before I can let myself go, I must be myself fully in all situations. To tighten and release at the same time. To hold and let go. Am I letting too much go? I am still my core. As long as I am on this planet, I am me. With my bodily needs and my emotional needs and my chemical needs and my spiritual needs.

And that’s the end of the flow of consciousness for this moment. So let it be.

-Lila