What do I call this?

Practicing what I preach, I guess.

Happiness is...
...the smell of moisture in the air.
...graham crackers, brie, and an earl grey latte.
...a Barnes & Noble recovery workout.
...feeling contentment settle back in.

I know I'm not the only one for whom 2017 started with a sizzle and turned into a raging inferno. So many choices that felt like there was no right way. So many times when the future was cloudy. So many temptations to crawl under the blanket and wail, "What have I done?!"

The answer is, made decisions. Took responsibility. Did the best I could do in the moment.

My hindsight is not 20/20. In fact, it's probably more myopic than my future sight. And all those alternative universes are naturally much more sparkly than this one, because they can be whatever story I make them, since I'm not actually living them.

Which is all a long way to say, once more I have had my 1st day of employment at Barnes & Noble.

Yup, I went back.

Home.

There are a thousand reasons bubbling in my head - I can dress my style; I can be myself; I can touch books; I can talk about things I understand; I can learn AND feel knowledgeable all at once.

But the main reason, the real reason, the truth is...

I walked into the store one day to buy a gift. Someone said, "When are you coming back to work?" And I said, "When do you want me?"

So here I am. Delighted. Ecstatic. Exuberant. So many changes and so much to learn. But I got to do so much: receive money; enter data; talk about books; feel my brain start to wake up again; have sore legs and sore feet (oh my feet!); wander through every section of the store except fiction; exchange hugs; see old friends; read a book on my break with other people reading books on their breaks...

I don't know how long this will be. The future still is cloudy. I'm not even going to predict the sun will rise tomorrow.

Cuz, you know, the sun never rises tomorrow. It always rises TODAY. 😎

And I know today, right now, I hope this lasts a good, long time. Years. Decades even. Happily, joyfully, selling books to people who want to buy them. Sharing something I love. Being content and feeling like myself in every part of myself.

Happiness is.

May it ever be so.

I hope you're having a great day!
-Lila