Be Not Afraid!

Today, I finally faced a fear.

I’ve been skirting around it for days, using all of the tools like  thinking of the situation in a positive fashion and focusing on other things instead of on the fear.

But when I do that, I know that I am avoiding thinking about the thing, so in a way I am still thinking about the thing.

In order to "be not afraid", I actually have to look at the fear straight forwardly. And I have to ask the question, “So what if this does happen?”

It is amazing how light I feel after I do that.

I suppose it’s surrendering, in a way. Maybe giving up the fight? Which makes sense if I think about it. Fighting is about resisting something. And when I resist something, I am acknowledging it’s presence and it's power over me.

But when I quit resisting the thought, it shrinks the fear from a looming "Big Bad" down to a mere possibility.

And I know that there are ever so many possibilities out there. Like falling leaves or blades of grass--there is never just one in any given spot. I can choose the one I really want to look at.

I can choose the possibility I really want to give power to.

And yes, the thought that evoked the fear will return again and again. But since I've already faced the fear, I feel the peace and see the possibilities and change my focus again.

Just like a November day, which can be sunshine with a light breeze, or blustering rain, or even freezing cold with snow. I bring my well-insulated trench coat (a gift from my mom), and I put an extra scarf in the car, and I am ready for any possibility.

And I am grateful for every day I see the sun.

It seems appropriate to close with a condensed version of a quote from Dune.

"I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. [...] Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert