If you're like me... your brain is an AWESOME thing.

If you're like me, a job search is about more than a large enough salary, and do I have the right skills?.

If you're like me, one of the most frustrating parts of searching for a job is not the interviewing and applying process, it's the journey you go through and the attitude you start to give yourself.

You come across an open position that is intriguing. You like the description - it involves things you know, and things you don't. You redo your resume to reflect your strengths and you apply.

If you're like me, you then spend hours thinking about it, enthusing about it, imagining yourself doing that work, what you can learn, what you would behave like. What you would wear. How you would feel when you tell friends and family that this was "what I do". How your schedule would juggle, could juggle. Driving in the snow for it. Making it your life.

And then "The position has already been filled." And you are devastated, because you had resigned yourself to some aspects and rejoiced in others.

So you find a new position in a new field, and you become enamored of a new thing. And you start a new life. Cosmetics, banking, libraries, coaching, writing, metaphysical, accounting, human resources... You name it, you've probably tried it on in your head.

And if you're like me, you've started to become really annoyed with yourself.

What am I, wishy-washy? Do I have no convictions? No real desires? Where is the truth? Where is MY truth? What do I want? Can't I just make up my mind?!!!!

And the answer, if you're like me, is, we are making up our minds.

Applying for a position puts out an interest, a connection. It allows us to open up to the possibilities of the field.

Because if you're like me, you know yourself pretty well (whether you admit it or not.) So you know how you feel about driving "over there" in the middle of blizzard, or wearing "that" uniform, or communicating with "those kind" of clients. And so the daydream, the mental "When I'm a bartender, I'll be doing this right now" is a way of figuring out if would bring happiness.

As frustrating as it feels to feel like we're making no progress, we are actually living those careers without having to put years of our life into them.

So, if you're like me, you're going to keep trying. You're going to listen to what your daydreams tell you about the daily grind of the Nursery Manager, and the education needs of the Credit Union CEO. You're going to accept the long view and the short view accomplishments of each possibility.

And, if you're like me, you're going to believe that you and the Universe are doing what you need to do to be ready when the possibility becomes a reality.

Because when the daydream is manifested, it's going to be the best one.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - Accepting I have Time

Today I acknowledge that I have time.

This is the flip side of practicing the "truth of the moment." Because, let's face it, most of us think beyond this moment. We are constantly comparing today to the past and projecting for the desired future. And sometimes that makes it difficult to "BE" in this moment.

Especially with all the transition that's happening in the world.

Especially with every one telling us how to behave, what rules to follow, what goals to achieve, what is best for us to think and eat and believe.

Especially if we're striving for happiness.

Because really, when you think about it, what is going to make me happier? Customer service or singing?

Well, actually, both.

Wait, what?

Yeah, I am having a hard time accepting it also. I want a job! I want to have a schedule and get out of the house and be answerable to other people. That is a truth of this moment. And oh, the money I will earn. And OH! the things I will learn.

But I also want to have the flexibility to be available for singing whenever it's needed. To write songs and practice and really participate in Threshold. That is a passion that feeds me! And oh, the joy and the connection I feel!

And it seems the desire to do both has kept me paralyzed, because I want to commit, to really commit, to both.

And I can. Just, one at a time. (you know, like one step at a time. Like, I can only really focus on one thing at a time. Which is true. So, one truth at a time.)

Happily, there is plenty of time.

Because I'm still alive. And until the moment I die, I have all the time I need. I can take a job now. I can commit fully to a job outside the home. And in a few years, I'll be able to commit fully to Threshold.

I have time.

Until I die, I have all the time in the world. And because I believe in the awesomeness of the expansive universe, that is a lot of time indeed.

I can do everything I want. I don't have to choose between one and the other; I simply have to choose which comes first - which is about self care and the truth, the needs, of the moment.

I am unlimited. I can do anything.

I have time.



I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome - Everyone is a customer

As you may know, I have been searching for income in addition to my writing/coaching/bookkeeping business. Because (total frustration and confusion re marketing myself aside) I find part of my happiness when interacting with and helping people.

This means that one of the fields I enjoy is customer service. In fact, if you look at it, most things I like to do are customer service. What is coaching but helping the customer? What is divination but finding answers for the customer? As my friend L Hawkins said, most of the things we do are about providing service to another person.

So. I like customer service. Yay!

And I'm good at it. I know that the key to customer service - whether it's a two minute cash transaction, or an hour long rune reading - is to be attentive to what the customer wants. To accept the customer as a person; to create a connection; and to be open to using all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find an answer.
And, most important?, I know the hidden fact - that customer and service provider share the power of the moment.

But then at home, interacting with family, I find myself so full of frustration and angst.
But then I need a service, and I get timid and closed off and scared.

And I ask myself, why can't I find in my life the ease and connection I find in my work? Why do I feel like two different people?

And yeah, my first reaction was "Because no one else is as awesome and open and understanding as I am."

But in truth, it's because I was two different people. Out in the world, providing service, I KNEW that I didn't know my customers very well. I was open to them being whomever they wanted. I knew we shared power.

While at home, I expected family to have certain thoughts, beliefs. or actions based on our shared experiences. Based on my perception of our shared experiences. We circled each other trying to figure out who had the power.

And when I was a customer who needed help, I became defensive because I didn't like not having the knowledge I needed. The business I needed service from had all the power.

And how unfair is that? Why was I giving some people total open respect and connection, and others none at all? Because I was getting paid?

Well, no. But I was laboring under a few delusions. One being that if someone is getting paid, they automatically have all the knowledge and power they need.
And two, that the word "family" automatically infers all members with the magical ability to be perfect.
And three, that I, being the center of my universe, should be operating in accordance with all my morals and ethics and inner rules, all the time.

But we are all just people. It doesn't matter what title we hold in relation to each other; it doesn't matter who is getting or giving the money; it doesn't matter what the business or activity is. We are all people, providing services to ourselves and other people. We all have power, in every situation.

We are all customers.

The key is to be attentive to the wants of myself and the person I am communicating with - whether a five minute conversation, or a life-time relationship. To accept each person as an individual person. And to be open, to use all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find the truth of the moment.

The key is to treat every person, including myself, with the respect and courtesy and shared power that I would offer to a customer. Whether that person is a sibling or a service provider, a husband or a doctor, a parent or a waitress, self or stranger - Every person has the same right to be seen as an unique individual inhabiting her own universe.

Everyone is a customer, with all the rights and obligations that entails.

Even me.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Happiness Practice - Appreciating myself

Today I am going to appreciate myself.

And I don't mean this in the "believe in myself", "give myself props", "accept myself" fashion (though I expect I will do that too.)

Today, I am going to look back on past choices and give myself some "atta-girl"s. And some "well-done"s.

Specifically, I am going to celebrate how awesome my recent vacation was.

In the past, vacation meant I should huddle up and eat a lot and read a lot of books and play games and do "MY" stuff.

But this time, vacation meant hanging out with my husband. Enjoying him. Appreciating him and all his wonderful eccentricities.

And I did this for me, not for him. I allowed myself to see him as a person, to accept him as who he is with all his, um, interesting quirks. And yeah, he has a lot of quirks, in my opinion. But, interestingly, that made all the really cool stuff seem even more awesome.

And yes, I also read books. And ate a lot. And even played a game or two.

But, as I look forward to having a job outside of the home, and the uncertainty of future time together, I am so appreciative that I took the offered time and really enjoyed the person I've been with for over 20 years.

Today I'm going to appreciate myself, and all the awesome choices I have made.

Yay me!

I hope you have a great, and appreciative, day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - What works for me?

Today I am going to search for what works for me.

I am currently (still!) in the process of finding another job - a job that uses my brain, uses my skills, and still provides opportunity for me to learn something. I have been fretting over how long it's taking, and over how there are so many cool sounding jobs for which I am not qualified - not enough experience, not enough education, not enough... not enough... not enough...

And when submitting resumes and cover letters; when driving through the town staring at possibilities; when sitting up at night looking toward the future; I have been thinking, who wants me? What do I have to be to fit into your place? What parts of my experience are worthy of working for you?

And that thinking is totally against all of my happiness practice.

What my experience tells me is there are many opportunities out there that fit into MY criteria for a great possible future.

What my experience tells me is that any job that I try to reshape myself for, is going to be a job I soon begin to hate.

What my experience tells me is, the questions I need to ask are: Who do I want? Does your place fit my style and my needs? What places are out there who can best utilize my experience and help in my growth?

Who is worthy of me?

And who, what, will be able to fulfill and accommodate all these swirling, barely articulated possibilities?

Yes, I want more income. Yes, I am looking for another job. Yes, it's a big search through thousands of possibilities. Yes, sometimes I am frustrated and scared.

But today, I am going to practice believing in my Universe, believing in my happiness. And I am going to search, not for how I can fit into somebody else's mold, but for the molds that are made just for me.

Today, and hopefully for the rest of this process, I am going to search for the work that works for me.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila