As you may know, I have been searching for income in addition to my writing/coaching/bookkeeping business. Because (total frustration and confusion re marketing myself aside) I find part of my happiness when interacting with and helping people.
This means that one of the fields I enjoy is customer service. In fact, if you look at it, most things I like to do are customer service. What is coaching but helping the customer? What is divination but finding answers for the customer? As my friend L Hawkins said, most of the things we do are about providing service to another person.
So. I like customer service. Yay!
And I'm good at it. I know that the key to customer service - whether it's a two minute cash transaction, or an hour long rune reading - is to be attentive to what the customer wants. To accept the customer as a person; to create a connection; and to be open to using all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find an answer.
And, most important?, I know the hidden fact - that customer and service provider share the power of the moment.
But then at home, interacting with family, I find myself so full of frustration and angst.
But then I need a service, and I get timid and closed off and scared.
And I ask myself, why can't I find in my life the ease and connection I find in my work? Why do I feel like two different people?
And yeah, my first reaction was "Because no one else is as awesome and open and understanding as I am."
But in truth, it's because I was two different people. Out in the world, providing service, I KNEW that I didn't know my customers very well. I was open to them being whomever they wanted. I knew we shared power.
While at home, I expected family to have certain thoughts, beliefs. or actions based on our shared experiences. Based on my perception of our shared experiences. We circled each other trying to figure out who had the power.
And when I was a customer who needed help, I became defensive because I didn't like not having the knowledge I needed. The business I needed service from had all the power.
And how unfair is that? Why was I giving some people total open respect and connection, and others none at all? Because I was getting paid?
Well, no. But I was laboring under a few delusions. One being that if someone is getting paid, they automatically have all the knowledge and power they need.
And two, that the word "family" automatically infers all members with the magical ability to be perfect.
And three, that I, being the center of my universe, should be operating in accordance with all my morals and ethics and inner rules, all the time.
But we are all just people. It doesn't matter what title we hold in relation to each other; it doesn't matter who is getting or giving the money; it doesn't matter what the business or activity is. We are all people, providing services to ourselves and other people. We all have power, in every situation.
We are all customers.
The key is to be attentive to the wants of myself and the person I am communicating with - whether a five minute conversation, or a life-time relationship. To accept each person as an individual person. And to be open, to use all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find the truth of the moment.
The key is to treat every person, including myself, with the respect and courtesy and shared power that I would offer to a customer. Whether that person is a sibling or a service provider, a husband or a doctor, a parent or a waitress, self or stranger - Every person has the same right to be seen as an unique individual inhabiting her own universe.
Everyone is a customer, with all the rights and obligations that entails.
I hope you have a great day!