If You're Like Me - suffering is bogus

If you're like me, you've never felt suffering was necessary for art. Or for any form of success, for that matter. Sure, strength of character can be built out of a desire to leave an untenable situation, but such situations are not a necessary ingredient for success!  Desire can be felt without despair; will power can be honed without helplessness.

But, if you're like me, despite the positivity you’ve learned at your father’s knee, regardless of the support and love and will power and faith, you’ve been sucked into the transitional vortex that has infected so many.  It may have been easier for you than for those around you, or it came at a more convenient time, or you simply had more time to prepare.  And, if you’re like me, you were grateful to have gotten off so easy.  Comparatively.  For you were floating were others were flailing.

But emotions do not measure trauma by events in others’ lives.  Emotion is totally and completely and rightfully concerned with “Me!” And now that the shock is over, now that the clinging and making it work and the need for strength is passed. . .  Well, if you’re like me, the breakdown has happened.  Is happening.  Will happen for the next little while.  And you find yourself, somewhat to your astonishment, climbing out of your own personal pit of despair.  You are forging your own path because the traditions, the patterns, the lessons of “the before” seem useless in the now.  You are building your own tunnel through the chaotic energy around you.

And the light at the end actually seems to be the light of success.  Dreams seem about to come true.  Hard work is preparing to pay off.  The Universe has finally set a delivery date for the order you placed many years ago and it doesn’t even have the grace to look sheepish about it.

The frustration of it all, the simple fact that you had to suffer before succeeding, is almost enough to make you turn back to the pit and wallow in the despair for a little while longer.  How dare it?  How dare the Universe go against the very core of your belief in self?  Why now?  Now of all times?  Why not a year ago?  Or even six months?  Why now?  Appreciation be blessed.  You can take this success and. . . 

. . .And.  If you’re like me, now we come to the sticking point.  Because, let’s face it, we have been working toward this moment, this light at the end of the tunnel, the peak at the top of the mountain, the credits at the end of the movie, for so very long.  Our indignation may keep us warm, but it won’t keep us fed, and it certainly won’t fulfill our dreams.  Our desires.  Our success.  Our art!

So.  If you’re like me, if comes back, always, forever, to the art.  To the dream.  To the need to be (shrug) whatever it is we are.  Cause if we don’t move toward that light now, we’ll just end up digging another tunnel.

So let’s take it now.

If you’re like me, it’s been a long hard road; harder than it should have been, harder than it ever had to be.  And fear is raising it’s head, even as we reach for the physical symbol of our success.  But if you’re like me, you’re gonna reach anyway.  And you’re gonna grasp that trophy, that degree, that contract, that check, the keys or the clothes or the jewels with both hands.  Because you are awesome and you did work hard and you deserve every good thing on which you can get your hands.

If you’re like me.