I love cycles.
Until they relate to myself and my feelings and realizing things that I thought I had "conquered" are things I need to work on - work through - again.
And again.
And AGAIN.
I mean, it makes sense. Intellectually. Every day is a new day. Every moment brings new connections and new adventures and new thoughts. When the old is cleared out, something else comes in.
And I don't live in a vacuum. So. Things I have figured out in a safe, secluded home environment when I am feeling healthy and I am well rested and I've done my exercising and connecting, are things I need to work through again when I am in a stressful situation.
Or when I'm with friends.
Or when I'm with my partner.
Or when I'm at work.
Or when the butterfly flaps it wings three times when flying widdershins around a purple poppy.
Things constantly change and grow and move and shift, even if it's slowly. Some fast and some slow. And maybe it's the slow things that are the worst. Because those are the things we can't point to and say, "Oh! That's why I suddenly feel this way!" We just are fine one day and freaking the heck out the next. Because a rock finally slipped into the ocean somewhere and cast reverberation throughout the stratosphere.
So, today's happiness practice is accepting myself in this environment. Today. As things are happening today. Acknowledging my reactions today, determining where I could have been better. Congratulating myself on where I stood and fulfilled my personal definition of happy and compassionate and beautiful. And loving myself through it all.
Today is a very good day. Today I have permission to be myself, to live and love and experience and step away from. Today I get to say, yup, this is what I'm feeling, and I think this is why. And I get to figure out how to meld that in with the day's plans and the people I'm with so I feel we are all accepted and loved.
And every day in every way, I and my household and my family and my friends and my world are more and more blessed.
So may it be. May it be so. Amen.
