Saturday, December 21, 2013

Remember the men

Wow.  2012 is done.  Finished.  It's been a year since we officially, astronomically turned the corner.

Look at all the women standing up, standing forth, no longer asking or even demanding, but EXPECTING the honor and respect which is our due as members of the human race.  Look at us becoming politically involved, spiritually involved, personally involved.

Yay us.  Go us!  But…

Let's remember the men.

As we come to realize our strengths, as we discover our abilities, as we draw outside the box and the circle and the polygon, let us not strive to wipe men out of existence.  I'm serious.  Not only are we changing the world around us, we are changing the world inside us.  We have ALL been trained in "the way it should be", whether we are sadistic bitches or sensitive men, nurturing women or cold-hearted bastards.  There is no need to crush the males under our shoes, boots or dancing slippers.  There is no reason to bash every person who has a penis.  Because a vagina does not automatically make a person right about everything either.

I know there are places and people who have to fight for their choices, for their decisions.  But that doesn't mean our rise in power needs to be a militant one.  Nor even an overpowering one.  In fact, there are many women who still prefer to have "a man in charge".  And they're just as right, for themselves and their situation, as the rest of us.
Let this age of Aquarius be one of equals, not one of gender.  Let all the teachers teach, let all the geniuses create, let all the skilled healers heal.  Let the head of the household be the one decided by that household.  Let us each, and all, answer the call of our abilities and our desires; let us be ruled by our hearts, not by outdated models of society.

I am not responsible for the way my ancestors treated people in their possession or people they were possessed by.  I am responsible for how I treat people of all races, religions, beliefs, cultures, occupations, genders, social standings, etc.

I am not responsible for the Crusades or the Witch Trials, the Crucifixion or  human sacrifice.  I am responsible for how I treat people of all races, religions, beliefs, cultures, occupations, genders, social standings, etc.

I am not responsible for anyone's actions during the Civil War of the United States, for any of the World Wars, for the rise and fall of any historical empires or civilizations.  I am responsible for how I treat people of all races, religions, beliefs, cultures, occupations, genders, social standings, etc.

I am not responsible for any of the laws passed or traditions set before my coming of age.  I am responsible for how I treat people of all races, religions, beliefs, cultures, occupations, genders, social standings, etc.

And I am not responsible for how my mother treated my father, nor for how my father treated my mother.  I am not responsible for anyone else's rules of behavior, in and out of the work place, the home, the  shopping mall.  I am responsible only for my actions, for how I treat people, regardless of race, religion, belief, culture, occupation, gender, social standing, etc.

Therefore, as we the women regain our equilibrium and see ourselves in a fresh and invigorating light, let us remember the men.  As people.  As husbands and fathers and brothers and friends and lovers and enemies and teachers and students and bystanders.   Be they  Bully or Braveheart, let us treat them each according to their actions of today, and not according to, or in retaliation for, the rules laid down by people a thousand years ago.

Thank you,


Friday, December 13, 2013

The next shooting

On December 13, 2013, I am not praying only for the students and families and alumni and community of Arapahoe High School. 

It is not my intention to devalue the trauma of anyone who is touched by the events.  But, thanks to our social media abilities, I expect there are good wishes pouring in from all over the globe.  If everyone touched believes in the power of prayer, the AHS community has never been safer or healthier than at this moment.

So I would like to take a moment and draw your attention away to the things we cannot see.  The things we may never know.  Let us send thoughts and prayers and wishes and health and healing and justice to those whose suffering will never be big enough to reach the media.  May not even be known by the community.  Could even be hidden from the neighbors.  Let us pray for everyone who has been wounded today, even if they don't realize it themselves.  Let us send our thoughts over the whole world and touch every person who is in pain, or shock, or fear, or just needs to know there is someone, somewhere, who knows they exist.

Thank you,


Sunday, November 10, 2013

Enlightenment is Awesome - Transition Vortex

Transitions are difficult.  Change is difficult.  We live our lives in patterns, in routines.  We train to act and react a certain way.  We learn skills, become proficient, we "manage" our time.

And every time we change something, we have to relearn something.

Let's take the big one -- moving.  Even if you keep the same job, you're going to have to find a new way to get there.  (Even if you work from home, it's a different path from new kitchen to new office.)  The temperature in the house will be different.  The air is different.  The light is certainly different.  As is the ambient noise.  Most likely, with a move, there is finding a new grocery store.  New health care options.  New schools.   New restaurants.  New shortcuts.  New views.  Perhaps a new favorite time of day, as a result of the light and the noise and the view.

And even if you leave out  the decision making process prior to the move, and the chaos of actually moving; dealing with  the new patterns, the new input, the new things to learn, is a transition vortex - a whirlwind of emotional, physical, mental imbalance.

Some changes, transitions, moves feel easier than others.  Yes, there is the inherent chaos and the overwhelming desire to return to the contentedness of routine, but the underlying drive of fulfilling goals is enough to propel us through the vortex.  And, when a moment out of time is needed, there are always the comfort items: the fuzzy blanket; the special food item; the song; the book; the video; the person.

But what if you're changing yourself?  What if you are moving from identity to identity?  What if you are retraining your choices to achieve a physical and mental you that is aligned with your faith, your personal body preferences, and the ability to achieve what you want to achieve?  In other words, what if you ARE striving for enlightenment?  (Disclaimer [read really fast] - this poster believes every  person's enlightenment is individual and unique, and therefore does not intend to assume everyone reaches it in the same way.)

For example, if you are trying to keep momentum and energy in your life, your music choices probably need to be  upbeat and driving, not poignant.  Less "I'll Always Love You"   and more "I'm Free!"

But what if "Goodbye to You" is a song you love to sing at the top of your lungs when you're feeling particularly despondent?  And, in the midst of your transition, there is a day where you're ready to throw in the towel.  And you set up the mp4 player, and you crank up the stereo, and you're halfway through belting out the song…

…and you realize it just doesn't do it for you anymore.

The song is sad and beautiful and even empowering, but it no longer soothes you.

What do you do?

I don't know.  What do YOU do?

The best "do" for me, currently, is to find something productive, even if it is cleaning out emails.  Because it turns the frustrated energy back toward the goal.  This could be why someone suddenly becomes successful… the more they put into their goal, the less comfort they get from old habits, so they turn back to the goal for comfort.

But I am still hunting for a new, perfect song.  Because working, as much as I need it for my current transition, isn't taking a break, isn't a balm to my soul, doesn't flow into the pained crevices like the old comforts did.  Even my posts, which usually include some form of humor or lightness, seem to be crying out from a deep well of sorrow.  Which should be awesome, right?  I love wallowing in deep wells.


Well, I used to.


My favorite food items don't taste good anymore.  My snuggle stuffed animals are ready for new homes.  And if I hear one more weepy song come from my stereo, I may scream.

Welcome to my current Transition.


Though, actually, in fact... really is awesome to be able to understand why this one has been more fraught than others.   Because everything is changing.  Including the things that help me rise above.

 Maybe I'll explore rap music.  Hmmm.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Frozen In Decision

Here's a scary story for Halloween.  Every single choice you make matters.

Everything you choose will affect every choice you make down the line.  When you make a choice, you open the door to a hundred other possibilities and, simultaneously, close the door to a hundred other options.  Forget the butterfly whose wings create a thunderstorm.  If you wear a red shirt instead of a blue shirt, you could end the world!  (Because the apprentice scientist in the cosmetology department who is looking out the window on the way to the disposal unit likes red shirts.  She is  distracted and adds the organic herbal supplement to the hazardous material bin instead of the compost pile and voila, mutant zombie chickens are hatched under the sea and propelled through oil rigs back into the ranges were free chickens, um, range.  It's really hard to tell a zombie chicken from an unzombie chicken, so chicken is no longer a staple, and thus chicken soup is no longer available.  There's a mass exodus from earth to escape the common cold; and on the way out, we blow up the planet to destroy the zombie chickens -- even though they don't exist anymore because everyone knows organic based cosmetics don't last more than 24 hours.

All because you wore a red shirt.)

Now, you can choose to throw away all your red shirts, just to make sure this doesn't happen.  And to be on the safe side, don't wear any red clothes.  Ever.  Not even that really awesome number you have safely stored for special occasions.  Nope.  You never know when an apprentice cosmetological scientist might be watching.  But when you're on the rocket heading away from the earth (perhaps pushing the red button yourself) because someone else wore a red shirt, remember this.

Everybody makes choices.  We have to, to get through the day.  There is no way to not make choices.  Even staying frozen to one spot for fear of making the wrong choice is a choice.  There are days we will regret our choices.  Or wish we'd made other ones.  (Cuz that red outfit was REALLY hot!)  But, we live with our choices.  And doors will open, and doors will close.

In the end, all of our choices are the right ones.

Because we made them.

So go on.  Wear the red.  If you choose.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Joining the Team

When you are picked to join your team (work, sports, music, book club), you definitely want to make a good impression on your first day.  So be the best you, you can be.  There is no need to try and do something spectacular, out of the ordinary, bigger than life.  You were picked for this team because of who you are: the skills you have; the things you do; your personality; your way of communicating.

Yes, you were probably also picked for your potential.  But potential is future thing.  It is gained by doing your tasks, every day; and getting better, every day.  Potential is fulfilled with practice and learning and work.

So just take that first step and then the second.  Just like any other day.  Someday, you will do something big and splashy, if that is your role.  And you won't even realize it is big and splashy, because you'll just be doing what you do best, being you.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Elegant and Important Paperwork

This morning a series of events inspired me to sit down and think about this question:  If there were a fire here, what items would I focus on removing from the building?  What would I really hope to save?

Here is the answer I came up with.

  • I would hope to save the cat, if he condescends to be found and put in his carrier -- if I can find the carrier.  (There being no other people in the house at the time I was contemplating this, it is logical, not callous, to put the cat first.  He'll take the most time to find and I can dial 911 while searching all his hiding places.)
  • I would hope I would be wearing pockets or clothing into which I could tuck my phone after I call emergency services.
  • And of course, I would like to get myself safely away from the fire.

So.  Okay.  Wow.  Really?  That's all?

  • Well, I would LIKE to get my writing computer out, and any data needed for clients.
  • The back up for the big computer would be good to retrieve.  Or even the big computer itself.
  • Um.  Maybe a jacket?  Some shoes?  Though if there's time to think about shoes there's probably time to figure out how to put out the fire.  (Though, I was contemplating an electrical fire, and I don't know the safe way to smother those.)

Perhaps grabbing my purse would also be a good thing, for ID purposes.  And car keys.  But I didn't  think about that this morning.  I know who I am.

So.  That's it.  The cat.  The phone.  Hopefully a computer and data.

Everything else is just paperwork we've created to make it all seem elegant and important.  And worthwhile.

Sure, there are memories in items and pictures.  There are priceless artifacts.  There are things made by family, and toys filled with happy vibrations and, heck! books and music that probably can't be replaced in physical form anymore.  There are all the ideas waiting to be fulfilled.

But the memories live inside us.  As does family.  As do the ideas, and the creativity needed to fulfill them.

If I lost my writing computer, I would be devastated.  I would wail and curse myself and carry on.  BUT! I would write on.  Newer.  Different.  And right for the moment.  I can make more runes.  I can add two plus two.  I can reenter data.  And no matter where I go or what I do or who I'm with or the adventures heaped upon me, I have my connections to the Universe and every beloved being in it.

I am not my ID card.  I am not my favorite stuffed unicorn.  I am not even the stories I write.

The only things I need to have hold of when the fires of transformation burn down are my core self, and the knowledge that the cat is fine.


Ps: there was no electrical fire.  But flashing lights during a thunderstorm do make one think!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Enlightenment is Awesome - Who? Me?

I believe we are all connected.

I believe we all, to quote Heinlein, “art God.”

I believe we each create our own Heaven.  Thus, when someone believes someone else did not make it into “their” Heaven, they are really condemning a part of themselves to disconnection.

Let’s take it one step further.  What if it’s more than “we are all connected”?

What if it is actually “We are all one”?

We are all one.

We are one.

I am one.

Therefore, I am alone.

Each and every one of you is… not a figment of my imagination, but a part of myself.  An image created upon the screen of my mind to fully explore all the infinite possibilities of being.  I am every flower petal, every breath upon the wind, every tear of acid rain.  I am every baby being born, every child crying, every boy running, every girl twirling.  I am every youth and adult and elder in every community.  I am starving and bloated and pleasantly full.  I am a drug user and a purist, a cannibal and a person on a very well balanced diet.  If I can think it, somewhere out there, I am it.
Why are there now so many people the world can barely hold us?  Because every moment, as my consciousness expands, more possibilities come into play.  I am able to conceive of more realities.  There are more “ifs” and there need to be more players.
Why is the world itself becoming more connected through technology?  Because it’s time, now, to open my world to all my selves, to feel everything felt, to think everything, to experience everything!  It’s the ultimate in living vicariously.
Think about it, if you dare.  There are many people you know who are out of sight.  Friends in other countries; family in other cities; parents in other buildings; loved ones in other rooms.  Do they really exist?  Are they really there?  You can email them, sure.  But the mind loves electricity.  The brain IS electricity.  Sending an email to yourself, that’s easy.

Oh wait.  Sorry.  If my hypothesis is fact, then you/I am already thinking about connectedness and there is no need to dare myself/ you to do so.  (Does my brain hurt yet?)

I am the thief and the victim.  I am the mother and the child.  I am the past and the future.

I am.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Give me backspace or give me... backspace

Well.  I have recently discovered I am set in my ways.  So very set in my ways.  I have tried to change; I have explored different options.  But, I admit it.  I am, well, I'm a pc'er.

And even as I write this I realize I haven't looked at any "new" pc laptop keyboards.  What if they  have eliminated the backspace button also?  Eeep!

You see, in my old fashioned keyboards, to erase a character (or multiple characters) before the cursor, one pressed the backspace button.  It was an arrow, pointing to the left.  In the apple laptop and the mobile keyboard devices I have, this is now the delete button.  It does still erase characters before the cursor (to the left.)

However, on my old fashioned and very much missed pc laptop keyboard, the del button, in a word processing program, would erase characters BEHIND the cursor.  One could change the beginning of a sentence from the beginning of a sentence, or remove that pesky extra space after the period.  One could just hit del if one decided rejoin the next sentence to the current paragraph (very handy, the way I do my editing.).  And, if one clicked on the left of the letter being changed instead of the right, one could still change the word.

One didn't have to get all fiddly with exact placement of the blue arrow so one could correct one letter in a word on a really small screen!

So.  To sum up.  I like my word processing program (WordPerfect).  I'm going to find a way to return to it.  I like my data base (Access).  I'm going to find a way to return to it.  And I love my backspace/ del buttons.  So, bye bye all you minimalistic keyboards.  Hello pc laptop.

It's true.  You don't know what you're missing until you've sprained your finger hitting a button that is no longer there.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Dear UnicAllen blog. I am testing sending blog posts from my mobile device. Tee hee hee hee hee!

Be interesting to see how this formats.


Word Search.

You know that moment in the creative process when the first set of pieces fall into place (literally, if you believe all those little ideas are physical manifestations of energy)?  It's like the glorious patterned fall of dominoes, with full whooshing sounds.  It's like choirs singing, in harmony and on key.  It's like being with the trapeze artist as he flies through the air - past being astounded by his abilities, you simply move with him.  It is a curtain opening, a light shining, a jump taken.  On one hand one thinks "Oh my!  That's so awesome! Did I think that? Can I do that?" and on the other hand one thinks "Oh yeah.  I am awesome!"

I want a word for that moment.


Monday, August 5, 2013

What do Reunionites need to know about me now?

backstory: I travelled with Up With People from the summer of 1988 thru the summer of 1989.  This year (2013) we celebrated our 25th reunion - though if you think about it, it's really 25 years since we first met, not since we last travelled all together.  Regardless... We are considered Cast D, 1988.  So.  25 years.  Eep.  Needing to put SOMETHING out there, so I wouldn't actually have to try & verbally express the montage that is myself (wry grin), I wrote this.

My hair is cut short.  My boobs are stretched long.
I cry whenever I sing That song
or read that book. Or stand up wrong.
That’s how my feelings air.

I give The Look to the mirror each morning -- 
the one that mothers use as a warning?
‘Cause if it’s not noon, I would rather be snoring
no matter what my mean boss wants.

My humor is highbrow and sometimes sarcastic.
My temper is brittle, my mood swings are spastic.
My sense of adventure is kind of elastic
and retracts in the middle of jaunts.

I’ll believe anything anyone tells me, as long as they think it’s true.
And in the end, be it fun or responsible, I do what I want to do.
I expect miracles.  I hug the foliage.  I think of squirrels as my crew.
I know the endlessness of possibilities; I talk to butterflies too.
A daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, 
I live a unique point of view with flair.

I read and I write and I add and subtract.
I’ll tell my opinion, sometimes without tact.
Some days I am wise; sometimes I feel cracked.
So all that has changed, as a matter of fact,
in the twenty five years since my suitcase unpacked

is the length of my breasts and my hair.

And yes, I did get comments on my breasts.
And my hair. - L

Soapbox of Perception - Why me?

“Why me?”
It’s an excellent question.
What unique skills, talents, perception do you have that makes you the perfect person to solve the riddle, answer the question, do the task, write the book, help the person, lead the group, hold the door, make the choice, stand up and step forward and stand out?
What makes you so special? 
Pretty much every breath you’ve taken and every experience you’ve had.
So go ahead.  Look in the mirror.  Think about your challenges, your adventures, your dreams.  And ask yourself, “Why me?”
I would love to know the answers.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Life in Runes - Naihwaz

Life in Runes - Naihwaz
Asking for what you need.

Naihwaz is the rune of need - you will be given the tools you need to accomplish your tasks.
When people think of what we need, we tend to think small, the basics.  Two sticks to rub together, for fire.  A leaf to keep water off.  A blanket that can serve as coat or robe or night covering.  Just the basics.  Enough to survive.
Ladies and gentlemen, in this day and age, two sticks are neither effficient nor helpful.  What we need is a never ending box of light anywhere matches. Or a self fueled propane torch.  Perhaps a flame thrower.  We need the whole tree, not just one leaf.  But since we're talking about shelter, to keep the rain off and the heat out and the snow away, we rwally need a fully furnished house (or apartment or condo or vehicle) in excellent shape.  We need clothes for all occassions.
So, when you're thinking about what it is you need, think what you REALLY need.  Let's do more than make do.  Let's create.  Let's manifest drafting tables and computers, chainsaws and Sharpie pens, the enitre patio set and a dutch oven.  Let's bring in the houses and the vehicles and the clothes and the stone fireplace.  And remember to conjur the companions to share the labor and the joy.
What do you need?  Not just to get by, not just to survive.  but to thrive!

I hope you have a great day.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Life in Runes - April 2013

The rune for April is Jera R.

Jera most often stands for the harvest, & reaping rewards. Jera says to get something, you must give something.

But this Jera is reversed (big grin) which means the rules of balance are overturned.  We can receive gifts, rewards, benefits, harvest – just because we want it.

Yes, you do deserve the rewards coming your way.  Whether “earned” or gifted, we all deserve to have abundance in our lives.  Every day.  Easy and joyful.

Not that you HAVE to accept anything that’s offered.  But please make the choice based on your desires, your wants, your happiness.

This month’s Jera is also a fire stone, which leads us back to the new beginnings of the Equinox.  So after you make sure there are no strings attached, grab your prize and dance through the streets.  Celebrate.  You’re a winner!

Jera R in fire - let your unexpected abundance be the spark that creates more abundance.  You deserve it.  We all do.

And I hope you have a great day.


Friday, March 22, 2013

Soapbox of Perception - Spring: What it really means

So.  Spring has sprung.  Do you understand what that means?

Spring is not the tame little sun shine, picnics and frisbee in the park.  It isn’t gentle showers and light breezes.  It isn’t even the end of snow.

Spring is the most primal of all the seasons.  Spring is life, forcing itself up through the soil.  Spring is the quickening.  The winds blow.  The trees bud.  The sun shines and then it rains and then it snows and then the wind blows again.  Spring is all the forces of nature playing merry havoc upon the world.

That includes the animal forces, the human forces.  We burst out of our winter shells, mess with the flow of time, run screaming through the streets.  We clean out our houses and our bodies and our minds.  We play in the snow and hunt the eggs.  We plant the gardens and start our outdoor projects.  We begin.

It’s not easy.  With everyone going crazy, every atom bounding and rebounding in this hemisphere, all that outward energy makes it difficult to get things done.  Or to even feel safe leaving the house.

But it is time to leave.  It’s time to get out there and dance through the chaos.  It’s time to carve your own niche, your own path.  Time to paint with the wind and sing with the earth and dance with the fire and direct the water.

And know this.  Spring is not the time to worry about perfection, or even about the finished product.  Spring is the time to do.  Don’t edit.  Don’t start over.  Don’t second guess.  Just do.  A little or a lot, whatever is in you, just do.  Take one step on your personal path every day.  Just one.  You can sit and rest and huddle and wait and watch for the rest of the day, but first, take one single step forward.  Put energy into doing.

Create your future.

I ask you.  I beg you.  I dare you.  Whatever it takes.

Spring forward with us.

And I hope you have a great day!


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Soapbox of Perception - Why Bother?

In one of her many attempts at a diary, Mom wrote - “I remember coming to the awesome conclusion - at the ripe old age of ten - that any real pain or sorrow a person endures has to be self-inflicted and the same holds true for happiness”.

While I agree with the basic sentiment of that statement, I also know there are some sorrows one is not responsible for and can do nothing about - except not love, not hope, not live.  Because we live in a world of people, we are affected by everyone’s choices.  And it seems inevitable that the events we can do nothing about are the ones we feel deepest, the ones we spend the most time thinking, “I should have. . .”; while the things we could own up to, we back away from, looking around desperately, hoping for someone else to step up.

Today I watched an episode of NCIS in which Abby Shuto spends some time regretting something she was unable to fix.  She says, and I paraphrase, “But what if I’m not enough?  Why should I keep trying?”  I’m pretty sure everyone who is devastated at the thought of not being good enough has been to that low point of wanting to just sit in the park and watch the puppies play until the sun sets and we can fade quietly away.  Of feeling so ineffective, so useless, so not enough, that the question “why bother?” really feels valid.

In television land, this is often when they pull out the “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment, and we get to see all the things we’ve done that have helped others.  Which is valid.  But does it really motivate us to keep moving forward?  To keep trying?  To keep bothering?

Sometimes no.  That was then.  That was that person.  That Abby.  That Lila.  That you.  This person, this person is different.  This person has been hit a little harder.  This person has had to admit to the unfathomable disconnectedness in others, to the continuous difficulties in life.  This person is tired.

So why bother?  Really?

There are two answers, happily, at least for me.  I say happily, because when one answer doesn’t work, the other is often enough to get me back into motion.  And I can’t say which answer is first or second.  I’m not exactly sure which would be most effective presented first or second.  So we’ll do the obvious one first.

Why bother?  Well, what else are we going to do?  I mean, really?  We’re the type of people who do bother.  It is innate.  It’s not something we learned, or something we were taught.  It’s something we have despite society, despite laws and television shows and heartbreaks and moments of despair.  We are people who try.  Who do.  Who keep seeing the light even when we’re blindfolded in a coal cellar.  We are people who bother and the only way to be true to ourselves, to be happy in ourselves, to be the best selves we can be, is to keep bothering.  Keep trying.  We don’t know how to do anything else, and we’d be more miserable not trying.  So we try.

The other answer includes vulgarities.

Why bother?  Because I’ll be damned if I let those bastards win. I have survived grade school and high school with my self respect and my individuality in tact.  I have survived fast food and retail customer service, and I still think there’s hope for humanity.  I have survived a car crash and a heart attack.  I have survived Democratic and Republican presidents.  I have survived the turn of the century and the end of the Mayan calendar.  I am still here and I will not bow under that depression and fear and ugly muck that the nasty people out there are trying to shovel over my life and my positivity.

So, yes.  I am going to keep going.  I am going to keep trying.  I am going to cry and scream and rage and pull the covers over my head and probably suck my thumb.  Then I am going to get up again and try again and keep on aiming for happiness over pain and suffering.

We are who we are.  And we will bother because, well, frankly, because we’re better than the ones who don’t.

I hope you are bothering to have a great day.


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Practicing Religions

We practice our religions for moments like these, moments when we feel stifled and heaped upon, unloved and unnoticed, or stared at and ridiculed.  We practice our religions to create the habit of faith, the motions through which to go, so we don’t have to make any other decisions at times of crisis.

It is easy to believe when your sun is shining and the music is playing and you’re dancing because everyone is dancing.  These are moments when it is important to practice, to hone and refine your prayer skills, to perfect the words and learn the motions with your body.  Work harder when it is easier.  Build your fortress of belief phrase by phrase - I believe in, I believe in, I believe in.   When the storm hits, your fortress is where you run to, automatically, to clutch the stuffed animals of fortitude and hide under the blankets of strength.  And you won’t remember all the platitudes and yoga and deep breathing, the kneeling here and anointing there.  You won’t even be searching for them.  You’ll be looking for the hug of the angels’ and the comforting hand of the Deity.  The more you’ve practiced, the easier it will be to find them.

Practice makes perfect, and the only person who can judge the perfection is the you at the moment of need.  So practice your religion, whenever you remember, so that when you run screaming into your fortress, it will be warm and cozy, rejuvenating and comforting, and it will have a direct line to Whomever you need.

We practice our religions, because the sanity we save will be our own.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Life in Runes - Feb 18

Thurisaz R & Ehwaz

-Time to lower the shields and step into the flow
*great advice. what's the flow? 
-I don't really know.
* but then how do you tell when to step? Where to go?
 and drop my protection?  just on your say so?
- Well.
 If you stay in your bubble, you never will grow.
 If you don't plant the seeds, there's nothing to hoe.
 If you never step up, you'll always be low.
 So take a deep breath,
 Open the door
Put a foot forward
Step onto the floor
Make yourself present
Keep asking for more
and before you know it, you will be the flow.
*Do you really think so?
-Oh, just go!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

LIfe in Runes - 2/17

  1. do you remember the scene in Princess Bride, where Inigo Montoya is “Waiting for Vizzini”? That is the only way he knows to fulfill his dream. Instead Fezzik finds him & together they find a new way, a new cause, a new path that leads to success.

    Today’s runes are Laguz R, and Kunos. Still waiting, but possibilities abound. While the still waiting part is very (very very) frustrating, let us keep ourselves occupied with friends and new quests. We may find our paths suddenly leading to the triumph we’ve been dreaming of.

Friday, February 15, 2013

If You're Like Me - suffering is bogus

If you're like me, you've never felt suffering was necessary for art. Or for any form of success, for that matter. Sure, strength of character can be built out of a desire to leave an untenable situation, but such situations are not a necessary ingredient for success!  Desire can be felt without despair; will power can be honed without helplessness.

But, if you're like me, despite the positivity you’ve learned at your father’s knee, regardless of the support and love and will power and faith, you’ve been sucked into the transitional vortex that has infected so many.  It may have been easier for you than for those around you, or it came at a more convenient time, or you simply had more time to prepare.  And, if you’re like me, you were grateful to have gotten off so easy.  Comparatively.  For you were floating were others were flailing.

But emotions do not measure trauma by events in others’ lives.  Emotion is totally and completely and rightfully concerned with “Me!” And now that the shock is over, now that the clinging and making it work and the need for strength is passed. . .  Well, if you’re like me, the breakdown has happened.  Is happening.  Will happen for the next little while.  And you find yourself, somewhat to your astonishment, climbing out of your own personal pit of despair.  You are forging your own path because the traditions, the patterns, the lessons of “the before” seem useless in the now.  You are building your own tunnel through the chaotic energy around you.

And the light at the end actually seems to be the light of success.  Dreams seem about to come true.  Hard work is preparing to pay off.  The Universe has finally set a delivery date for the order you placed many years ago and it doesn’t even have the grace to look sheepish about it.

The frustration of it all, the simple fact that you had to suffer before succeeding, is almost enough to make you turn back to the pit and wallow in the despair for a little while longer.  How dare it?  How dare the Universe go against the very core of your belief in self?  Why now?  Now of all times?  Why not a year ago?  Or even six months?  Why now?  Appreciation be blessed.  You can take this success and. . . 

. . .And.  If you’re like me, now we come to the sticking point.  Because, let’s face it, we have been working toward this moment, this light at the end of the tunnel, the peak at the top of the mountain, the credits at the end of the movie, for so very long.  Our indignation may keep us warm, but it won’t keep us fed, and it certainly won’t fulfill our dreams.  Our desires.  Our success.  Our art!

So.  If you’re like me, if comes back, always, forever, to the art.  To the dream.  To the need to be (shrug) whatever it is we are.  Cause if we don’t move toward that light now, we’ll just end up digging another tunnel.

So let’s take it now.

If you’re like me, it’s been a long hard road; harder than it should have been, harder than it ever had to be.  And fear is raising it’s head, even as we reach for the physical symbol of our success.  But if you’re like me, you’re gonna reach anyway.  And you’re gonna grasp that trophy, that degree, that contract, that check, the keys or the clothes or the jewels with both hands.  Because you are awesome and you did work hard and you deserve every good thing on which you can get your hands.

If you’re like me.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Life in Runes - February

Believe it, gentle beings; the rune for February is Sowelo - Success.  While this Success is watery with tears (frustration, endurance, relief, gratitude), Sowelo is really about the fire. The Fire of belief. The Fire of determination. The Fire of sheer will-power. And then, the combustive Fire of change, as 1 small success starts the Success-ive chain. A Success-ion of Successes.

Welcome to the Success-ation.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Chemistry of Greed

Where is it?
Where is that special something?  That perfect piece?  That thing that was us?  That thing that represents the bond between us?  Where is that momento, that picture, that jewelry, that piece of clothing that shows ME in her life?  Not you, not him, just me.  Where is my specialness?  Where is my secret, sacred, sweet and unique moment, the thing only we two shared?
Where is it?

Sunday, January 20, 2013

the Soapbox of Perception - The Chemistry of Tears

When someone we love dies, most humans express their emotions with tears.  Even if the death is a healing; even if we believe in a next life that is better, we cry.  The tears roil up out of some mysterious pit and head straight for the eyes.  Then they spread to the nose, the throat. A sound often emerges.  The body shakes.  The head aches.

We rarely get to control when we cry.  Sometimes we can control how much noise we make, whether it’s a few artistic tears or a flood.  Often, we can clench our teeth against the dying animal sounds.  The headache we can do little about.

But why do we cry?  Why does the emotional wave wash over us?  Why does the stomach clench and the breath hitch and the nose run?

Here is today’s theory, specifically related to death.

We create connections with each other, with family and friends and teachers and clients.  We form energetic bonds with many other beings.  Thus, when we think of said being, we reach out energetically, with heart or soul or mind or psychic field or what have you, and touch quickly upon that being.

When a being is alive, she is bound by the physical nature of the body, the limitations of the rules placed by time and space.  So when we think of the being, the energetic touch reveals information we are able to translate easily, even if we don’t know we’re doing it.

But when a being dies, her self is released from the physical form.  The soul or heart or consciousness or what have you becomes an energetic body.  This body, this state of being in whatever afterlife, is a body unbound.  It is a body that can experience, encompass, embrace, expand into a whole new existence.  And existence with which we, as bound humans, have little experience.

So when we think upon the being who is dead, we reach out energetically, with heart or soul or mind or psychic field or what have you, and we touch upon the awesomeness that is heaven or the universe or the cosmic mind or. . . or. . . or. . .  We touch upon the beauty we have no words for, the emotions we have no ability to feel, the richness that is overwhelming.  And we cry.  We cry from the wonder of it.  We cry from the shock of it.  We cry because we cannot experience the fullness of that existence.  We cry in fear and sorrow and wonder and desire and envy and anger and bewildered acceptance because that is how the human body releases the overflow of emotions.  When we are full physically, we belch.  When we are full emotionally, we cry.

So reach out to the beings who are no longer in this physical existence.  And when you cry at their memory, perhaps you are touching the other side and are full of the wonder.

Friday, January 18, 2013

testing the connection

Hello!  I have finally set up a website - Yippee!

I am trying desperately to connect this blog to that website, but so far, because this blog was attached to a different google profile, I am having less luck than I would like.  So, I have added myself as an author.  (wow!) and we're going to see where this post gives notification.

I hope you're having a great day!