Today's Happiness Practice... Discomfort?

Okay. Truthfully (cause we're all about the truth in Happiness,) the practice will be more like meditating on comfort and discomfort - for the next few days.

The amazing woman who leads our writing group shared the message of a motivational video she saw (and I don't have the source yet; I'll add it when I do - if I remember.) And the message was, our brain wants us to be comfortable.

Yay! Good brain. Happy brain. Let's hear it for comfort!

Except, the message continues, this is not necessarily conducive to achieving our dreams. For example:

Being comfortable at six o'clock in the morning, for me, is being snuggled into bed. Even if I would really rather get out of bed so I can wake up gently before I face the world.

And since I really like having about 2 hours to wake up - so I can write and journal and connect and eat and not feel like I'm racing against time - on the days I don't have outside obligations, I take those two hours.

Or more, because it's so nice and comfortable to just sit and pet the cats, and maybe warm up my brain with a book, and I'm sure I'll get to the laundry in just a moment and that'll at least be productive right?

And because those two hours became a comfortable three or four, I don't really get started on my work until 1 or 2. And then I end up looking at all the stuff I really want to get done (like writing books and songs and paying bills and updating the web site and some contract work so it's not at the last minute) and I can't really decide which I should do first, since I want to do them all, and the most comfortable thing is to go sit somewhere else and breathe so I quit beating myself up for being unable to motivate myself and...


Yeah. She's right. Being comfortable is not actually (or not always) a very useful thing. And it's definitely not the same as being happy. Whatever my brain may think.

So this practice (like everything else) is going to be on how to change my brain's programming. I don't actually think of it as hacking; it's more like finding the right hex key - the one that unlocks the trigger that activates the happily productive part of my brain.

Because I do like to be productive. And organized. And the mistress of my own time. I can feel how amazing it will be to create and contribute all the ideas and chores running around in my brain - which happily means I am one step closer to achieving it.

I just have to make it out of the Comfort Trap.

So, this week, I will be practicing discomfort.

And the first task will be figuring out a better name for it!

I hope you have a great (and just comfortable enough) day!
-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome - Transition Vortex

Transitions are difficult.  Change is difficult.  We live our lives in patterns, in routines.  We train to act and react a certain way.  We learn skills, become proficient, we "manage" our time.

And every time we change something, we have to relearn something.

Let's take the big one -- moving.  Even if you keep the same job, you're going to have to find a new way to get there.  (Even if you work from home, it's a different path from new kitchen to new office.)  The temperature in the house will be different.  The air is different.  The light is certainly different.  As is the ambient noise.  Most likely, with a move, there is finding a new grocery store.  New health care options.  New schools.   New restaurants.  New shortcuts.  New views.  Perhaps a new favorite time of day, as a result of the light and the noise and the view.

And even if you leave out  the decision making process prior to the move, and the chaos of actually moving; dealing with  the new patterns, the new input, the new things to learn, is a transition vortex - a whirlwind of emotional, physical, mental imbalance.

Some changes, transitions, moves feel easier than others.  Yes, there is the inherent chaos and the overwhelming desire to return to the contentedness of routine, but the underlying drive of fulfilling goals is enough to propel us through the vortex.  And, when a moment out of time is needed, there are always the comfort items: the fuzzy blanket; the special food item; the song; the book; the video; the person.

But what if you're changing yourself?  What if you are moving from identity to identity?  What if you are retraining your choices to achieve a physical and mental you that is aligned with your faith, your personal body preferences, and the ability to achieve what you want to achieve?  In other words, what if you ARE striving for enlightenment?  (Disclaimer [read really fast] - this poster believes every  person's enlightenment is individual and unique, and therefore does not intend to assume everyone reaches it in the same way.)

For example, if you are trying to keep momentum and energy in your life, your music choices probably need to be  upbeat and driving, not poignant.  Less "I'll Always Love You"   and more "I'm Free!"

But what if "Goodbye to You" is a song you love to sing at the top of your lungs when you're feeling particularly despondent?  And, in the midst of your transition, there is a day where you're ready to throw in the towel.  And you set up the mp4 player, and you crank up the stereo, and you're halfway through belting out the song…

…and you realize it just doesn't do it for you anymore.

The song is sad and beautiful and even empowering, but it no longer soothes you.

What do you do?

I don't know.  What do YOU do?

The best "do" for me, currently, is to find something productive, even if it is cleaning out emails.  Because it turns the frustrated energy back toward the goal.  This could be why someone suddenly becomes successful… the more they put into their goal, the less comfort they get from old habits, so they turn back to the goal for comfort.

But I am still hunting for a new, perfect song.  Because working, as much as I need it for my current transition, isn't taking a break, isn't a balm to my soul, doesn't flow into the pained crevices like the old comforts did.  Even my posts, which usually include some form of humor or lightness, seem to be crying out from a deep well of sorrow.  Which should be awesome, right?  I love wallowing in deep wells.

Sometimes.

Well, I used to.

But.

My favorite food items don't taste good anymore.  My snuggle stuffed animals are ready for new homes.  And if I hear one more weepy song come from my stereo, I may scream.

Welcome to my current Transition.

Awesome.

Though, actually, in fact... 

...it really is awesome to be able to understand why this one has been more fraught than others.   Because everything is changing.  Including the things that help me rise above.

 Maybe I'll explore rap music.  Hmmm.

-Lila