I have been going on and on about what Happiness is. Today, with the high level of cranky out there, I'd like to take a few minutes to type about what Happiness is NOT.
Happiness is NOT being perpetually positive, stiff upper lip, pretend everything is going to be all right, smiling manically every day.
Happiness is NOT forcing myself (or others) to speak or act or behave in a way that belies the inside feelings.
Happiness is NOT singing and dancing, all day long, with sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and little hearts floating all around (though I do believe in those things.)
What Happiness IS, at the heart, is:
- believing, in every moment, that I am doing my best.
- allowing that sometimes my best is not the way I want it to be.
- knowing that I only have choices about what I say or do, and not what the rest of the world says or does. And honestly, sometimes I don't even have choices in my reactions to things - they are automatic, trained, habit, thought patterns so deeply carved in my brain and body it could take an act of terrific (or terrible) proportions to retrain me.
Or a whole 'nother life'stime worth of practice (obviously, I still have a ways to go.)
You may have noticed that the cranky meter is pretty high this week. There is so much going on, so much changing, so much unknown - personally and publically - and we're really not sure if we're supposed to run in circles, or hide, or pull out the swords and the cannon, or pray. So we end up doing a bit of all of them. And then we chastise ourselves for our reactions, and that cranks the cranky up a notch or two. So we go out to share the cranky with others.
I am not asking us to stay in; stewing in your own cranky is just as bad as mixing in with others'.
I am not asking us to try and be sweetness and light to everyone we meet.
What I am asking is that we believe in ourselves.
Please, believe in yourself.
Believe you are doing your best every moment. And if you do or say something you wish you'd done differently, then allow yourself to admit that to yourself. No judgement, no blame. Just fact.
And then step forward again, doing your best.
It is all you can do. It is all, and only, what anyone can do. And it is what we are already doing.
You are doing the best you can do. I am doing my best. She/He/It is doing their best.
We are not comparing ourselves to anyone else; we are not judging ourselves by any standards. A moment happens. We do our best. We like the outcome or we don't. A new moment. We do our best again.
I know you are doing your best, because I know I am doing my best. Every day. Every moment. And I know I am just as awesome as you are, and you are just as amazing as I am. We are equal. And uniquely ourselves.
So don't worry about smiling, if that's not in your toolbox today. Just remember to breathe and believe.
Believe in yourself.
And I hope we all have a hundred thousand easy breathing cranky free moments for the rest of this most interesting week.