Happiness is... the Remaking

Happiness is…

…Remaking myself.

Again.

Yes, yes it is.

It doesn't feel like it. It feels like a drag and a pain and a beating my head against the wall and wanting to take the Divine by the lapels (which will manifest just for this purpose because I said so, bless it!) and shaking and saying/screaming  "Why is this happening to me!!!!!

But, honestly, this "happening" is the quintessential poignancy of Happiness.

Because in any self-improvement program, there is the destruction, the unmaking of self.

And then there is the remaking.

In Happiness, one just does it all at once.

At least, in this day and age one does. It may have been different last century.

But we're not dealing with last century. Or last year. Or even last week.

We're dealing with NOW.

Bless it, bless it, bless it, bless it, bless it.

And now, there is a lot to do and undo and redo and overdo and try again. There's a lot of stuff going on out there! Which means, since I actually am part of the world (more blessings) there are a lot of opportunities to practice Happiness.

What is right for me, in this moment?

Well, I screwed that up - nope, we don't screw up, change vocabulary…

…Well, I am unsatisfied with the results of that choice - I shall make a different choice next time.

I don't like this at all, I'm going to change my mind now.

I am going to step back and breathe.

What is right for me, in this moment?

What do I want RIGHT NOW?

Am I willing to take responsibility for this choice and accept the consequences?

What is right for me, in this moment?

Do I like the results of that action?

Does this resonate with the me I want to be?

BTW, Universe. I am STILL saying NO to that confining option, and saying YES to this expansive opportunity.

So yeah, Happiness is remaking myself. Every day. Choosing, every day. And knowing that eventually this maelstrom will come to an end…

 …okay, actually, no it won't, things don't really stop, they just slow down and speed up - but this global transition period will settle into some calm growing years and I will be ready to enjoy them because I've been dancing across the ice the whole blessed time and it will be so nice to dance in place.

At least I like to dance!

So, Happiness is…

…remembering it's all about me.

Allowing it to be all about me.

About making my choices for my greatest and highest good.

Because the happier I am, the happier the world will be.

 I hope you are remembering to breathe,

-Lila

(ps - yes, I am still working on the book. yay me!)

What do I fear? What do I desire?

Karen Drucker (marvelous awesome affirmative woman) has a song which starts like this:

"What do I want? What do I desire? What will bring me to my highest good?"

As a champion of choices, this question makes me clench up. "What do I want?'

I DON'T KNOW!

Well, okay. That's a lie. I do know.

I want to ask for something, apply for something, put out a flyer or a book or a prayer, and have the answer be YES! Done. Total happiness forever and ever. Go forth and manifest!

I do believe this can happen.

I just have to ask for the right thing.

Right?

But...

...what if I get a yes, and I try something and I don't like it and I have to change my mind and do something else?

...what if I get a yes, and I create connections and commitments and then I change and outgrow the situation?

...what if I get a yes and it's everything I hoped for and I still feel this searching desire for more?

So the right thing has to be the REALLY right thing.

The greatest and highest good for ALL TIME.

No pressure, right?

Oh, yeah.

No wonder few people want to accept responsibility for themselves. So much easier to say "I have to do this because it's the law."
Or, "I have to do that because that's how it works."
Or, "If they really want me, they'll come find me, right?"

Marvelous things can happen in this universe, including a peaceful resolution to hatred and fear, but it's not going to happen (at least in my reality) without me actually doing something.

I have to be the love, the happiness, the asking, the trying, the choosing, the trying again, the growing I wish to see in my world.

Because it is my world. And I have as much right to say something about it as anyone else.


What do I fear? More than rejection or inclusion, more than homelessness or commitment?

That when the time comes for me to judge myself and my actions, I will look back on my life and judge myself unworthy.

What do I desire? My own respect.

So, time to make another choice.

What do I want, today?

I hope you are having a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - taking responsibility for my choices

Today I am going to take responsibility for my choices.
Which is such an easy thing when those choices feel good, and lead to doing my work with joy and passion.

But when my choices lead to me sitting on my bed, feeling sick and regretful, it's not so easy.

It's tempting to wallow in the discomfort, to dive deep into the regret, to start singing recriminations and beating my breast and wailing to the world the long stories of how I am so sad and so sorry and what I really wanted. And then there will be a nice little chorus of "If only, if only, if only...

But that's not how I work - using "work" in the fashion of making choices, and using my gifts, and practicing happiness. I don't do "if only". I don't beat myself up or spend time focusing on how I did it WRONG. I don't berate and judge and heap coal upon the head of my yesterday self.

 It doesn't change the choice or the actions. It doesn't change the consequence. And it certainly won't heal me or help me make a different choice next time.

So today I am going to take responsibility for my choices. Yup, I did that. I overindulged. Yes, today my happiness level is low. Yes, today's choices are affected by yesterday's choices.

So, next time I am offered that choice, how will I choose differently?

Each time I start to bemoan how I feel and start singing the "what I did wrong" song, I shall breath, accept that I made those choices, accept that these are the consequences, and Practice making a different choice next time.

Then I'm going to focus on today.

No judgment. No wallowing. Breathe. Accept. Replay with different choice. Move on.

And perhaps some gratitude practice thrown in there. That I know myself and have practiced happiness long enough that I am able to accept, replay, and move on.

Today I am practicing responsibility for my choices, and transforming recriminations to happiness. Because this is now. The future is unlimited. And happiness is my choice.

I hope you're having an excellent day!
-Lila

Frozen In Decision

Here's a scary story for Halloween.  Every single choice you make matters.

Everything you choose will affect every choice you make down the line.  When you make a choice, you open the door to a hundred other possibilities and, simultaneously, close the door to a hundred other options.  Forget the butterfly whose wings create a thunderstorm.  If you wear a red shirt instead of a blue shirt, you could end the world!  (Because the apprentice scientist in the cosmetology department who is looking out the window on the way to the disposal unit likes red shirts.  She is  distracted and adds the organic herbal supplement to the hazardous material bin instead of the compost pile and voila, mutant zombie chickens are hatched under the sea and propelled through oil rigs back into the ranges were free chickens, um, range.  It's really hard to tell a zombie chicken from an unzombie chicken, so chicken is no longer a staple, and thus chicken soup is no longer available.  There's a mass exodus from earth to escape the common cold; and on the way out, we blow up the planet to destroy the zombie chickens -- even though they don't exist anymore because everyone knows organic based cosmetics don't last more than 24 hours.

All because you wore a red shirt.)

Now, you can choose to throw away all your red shirts, just to make sure this doesn't happen.  And to be on the safe side, don't wear any red clothes.  Ever.  Not even that really awesome number you have safely stored for special occasions.  Nope.  You never know when an apprentice cosmetological scientist might be watching.  But when you're on the rocket heading away from the earth (perhaps pushing the red button yourself) because someone else wore a red shirt, remember this.

Everybody makes choices.  We have to, to get through the day.  There is no way to not make choices.  Even staying frozen to one spot for fear of making the wrong choice is a choice.  There are days we will regret our choices.  Or wish we'd made other ones.  (Cuz that red outfit was REALLY hot!)  But, we live with our choices.  And doors will open, and doors will close.

In the end, all of our choices are the right ones.

Because we made them.

So go on.  Wear the red.  If you choose.