Summer Solstice Divination Special

Hello to you!

I recently had the opportunity to do some readings, and I must say, I loved it!

So, to honor the Summer solstice and do more of what I love, I am having a Reading Special - 1 hour for $55.   

If you're like me (and Colorado), it feels like it's taken this long just to pull yourself out of the winter of contemplation.  So now is a great time to pause and ask a few questions:

• Am I where I want to be?
• What seeds have sprouted in my life's garden?
• Which ones am I still waiting for?
• Which dreams do I want to tend, and which am I ready to weed out?
• Do I HAVE to think in plant metaphors?

The answer to the last one is no 😉

But if you have questions, I'd be happy to help find the answers. I use the runes, the Wild Wood Tarot, and connection with the divine to translate what you need to hear from the Universe. As a Happiness Practitioner, the focus tends to be on what will be empowering for you; Self Care and Acceptance are also themes that often weave through the conversation.

The readings can be in-person (within a reasonable distance of Denver, CO) or online. Once you've purchased a reading, we'll connect and coordinate time and place.

And if you want to be informed about the flowers in my Garden  sign up for my newsletters.

Happy Solstice, Gentle Beings. May the sun shine brightly, and without harm.

-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome... and inclusive. (What's that mean?)

Today I was told I was wrong.

I have been attending a Universalist Unitarian church lately - delighted by the professed inclusion of a variety of spiritual practices. The structure of the celebrations follows the norm - entrance, light candle, words and music and non-denominational prayers/ meditations, douse candle. One service was lead wholly by various members of the congregation. 

And the music. OH! the music has been a balm to my soul. Choral music. Contemporary music, orchestral and pop Congregation singing hymns, of course, and members playing Chopin, and choirs singing Billy Joel, and... and... and... So far every service has been different and every service, musically at least, has fed my soul.

Propelled on the love of the music, I joined their choir. Just this week.

I am glad that I did. That I have been carried on the wave of the music. Because today, I was told that I was wrong. That my practice - the Happiness Practice - basically everything I am - is wrong and NOT part of the inclusion that is the Unitarian Universalist tradition.

I am "enlightened enough" to understand that this could be my interpretation… but the words I would say her sermon paraphrased down into was "Individualistic focuses and practices are bad." We are, as humans, relationship beings. And so, our focus the core of the faith practice - even a liberal faith practice which has no set dogma or creed but is all about inclusion - should be on the society. "Ask not what your church can do for you…"

I am proud of myself. I was still able to enjoy the music.

And it is so tempting to rail against the injustice of this personal attack - though it wasn't. It wasn't personal at all. She didn't even know I was in the audience. Only a few people in the congregation even know I am a Happiness Practitioner. Heck, only a few people in the world know what a Happiness Practitioner is!

The first part of the service had readings which talked about the difficulty of being a liberal religion - because there is no One True Way. There is no set dogma, creed, or practice to say "DO THIS" in bright bold letters. So it in not, as was said, a faith path for the faint of heart.

And this sermon was the minister's way of giving her congregation a sense of purpose and a direction for their spiritual focus. "Ask what you can do for your church. For your community." It was her job!

And isn't my job to accept that? Not that I am wrong, not that I have to change in order to become an acceptable choir member. But to accept that the words she spoke are her truth. Her reality. Her Happiness hinges on this belief. This is her center.

And it does piss me off, that to be true to myself I have to accept her truth as valid, for her. It would feel so good, so righteous, to use all this hurt to argue with her, tell her how wrong she is, make her validate my point. MAKE her - and by extension the community she represents - accept me.

Well, that's not my job. That's not my truth. And in the end, it might feel triumphant - for having said my piece - but it wouldn't be fulfilling. It wouldn't be my PEACE. Because in the end, it would be against the true meaning of acceptance and inclusivity - which means basically she has the right to believe her reality of the world. She has the right to make the world a better place in her fashion. She didn't throw me out. She didn't even single me out. She didn't harm me in any way - though I was harmed by her words.

I, to be true to my faith and my practice and my Happiness, get to practice accepting her. And I get to make a choice.

Am I going to let her truth become my truth? Am I going to turn myself into her version of a Universalist Unitarian in order to feel I have permission to sing? No.

Am I going to slink into the church each time, hoping to be unnoticed so I can get what I need and scurry away? No.

Am I going to swagger in, daring someone to ask me if I am an individualist? No.

Am I going to starve myself of music in order to be out of her sphere of words? No.

Am I going to sit martyr like through her sermons and wait for the arrows of her truth to pierce the armor of mine? No.

I am responsible for my Happiness, for my joy, for my practice. And if we ever meet, she will think what she thinks about me. She will include me - the Unique and Equal individualist - or not as fits her truth. It has nothing to do with me.

And will I include her? Well. The Happiness Practice is diverse. And Inclusive. And we accept that everyone, EVERYONE has the right to their truth. And frankly, I don't know her. She could be a very nice person. But I won't be seeking out her company any time soon; I doubt she is my KIND of person. Because of this one truth she has spoken.

If I want to make the world a better place - if I want to make MY world a better place, I have to do it my way.

I hope you're having a great day!

-Lila

A breath-giving moment

As I sit to morning prayer,

 this is what I see.

And I am grateful for the breath

 of beauty set before me.

It's just a tree. It's just snow.

It's just a sky of blue.

It's just a breath-giving moment of peace

I wanted to share with you.

This is life. This moment, this time

this scene of chilly grace.

This is the world where I choose to reside -

This beautiful, happy place.

Lila's Wales Adventure in One spot.

Wales is amazing! A huge thank you to all who contributed, energetically and financially. I did send a couple of videos, which are available on the website, and which I will link to below.

The most interesting part of Wales, of experiencing Wales, was that I had to stop, step back, breathe, and be in order to really get what I wanted. My first video  meanders about expectations and being in different countries - and while it doesn't really go in depth on my disillusionment - which I was feeling pretty strongly - you can see (I can see) there is something underneath. Wales was beautiful and soft and welcoming and yet...

And yet...

Somewhere after (or during) the video, I was able to release the stress of the travelling, of wondering what I was supposed to be doing with myself in order to "Really Experience" Wales, and I just let us all be.

I let me be me. I let Wales be Wales. And I experienced what was happening, what I was part of - instead of desperately searching for some sign that matched my expectations. And it was amazingly, magically, fantastically, comfortably normal. When I let go and let Wales.

   When asked to describe Wales, the part I remember the most is the softness. The air feels softer, and closer. The mountain looked softer - because it had growth as far up as I could see. The trees appeared softer, as there were so many varieties. In fact, my new definition of diversity is the variety of trees all bunched together on the hill outside my B&B in Betwys y Coed. (the Bryn Afon Guest House. Awesome place, beautiful proprietors. So grateful I chose it!)

Even the sounds of Wales were softer, muted. Comforting.

Except when I tried to actually converse with people. I was astonished at how loud I sounded, compared to the voices of those around me. And I found myself having difficulty understanding, not because of the accents (which I found delightful) but because I was trying to listen at a different decibel than they were speaking. I couldn't tell Welsh language from English language because it was all on a different vibration.

And like listening to the people in Wales, listening to Wales itself required opening up to the different frequency and just listening, being.

It was a whole new level of Happiness Practice for me, I have to say. I had decided not to give myself assignments, to not offer exchanges of pictures and songs and meditations for the contributions. I wanted to, well, connect with me. Which means I had a hard time figuring out what to do! My poor busy brain was trying so hard to make something of all the beauty, all the sights, all the GREEN! All the lovely moist air. I didn't realize how overworked my brain was until I tried really hard to do nothing but experience. And each time I thought I reached a new level of open and connection, there was a deeper level waiting, beckoning, calling.

The space of being without expectation, without comparison, without wondering how I could use something, or how I should write about it, was  - okay, it was weird. And a little scary at first. Who am I without all my witty thoughts and kind comparisons?

I am (it turns out) a magical, connected being.


Many people asked me why I came to Wales. The deepest honest answer - because it is the most magical place I could think of. And it has been magic for me. I connected with beings, I had bats as companions, the river sang me to sleep at night. I was cared for and celebrated. And all I had to do was to be me, and to be there.

And yes, I sang to the river and to the trees.
I sang to those listening in the grave yard.
I communed with churches and the strangest looking birds.


I'll admit, I mostly just laughed at the sheep. They were everywhere! With splashes of color on their hindquarters -- depicting which gang they belonged to, one presumes. Or maybe which ranking they've achieved. When I walked the trail up Snowdon, the constant sheep commentary had me wondering if they were actually some sort of counsel of Universal Elders, disguised, in order to see what's really going on in the world.

I did NOT take the trail all the way up Snowdon; I don't even think I made it to the halfway point. But I did take the cog train to the top and saw...
...Mist. A lot of mist. And a bunch of people who had walked through the mist. It was...
...gray. And cold. An interesting bland balance to the Bodnant Gardens - which was a huge estate of flowers and rivers and the oldest, most beautiful trees I have ever had the pleasure of hugging.

I will say every day was an adventure. And I don't think I realized how much work I was putting into breathing and being, until now, trying to encapsulate all the emotion and exploration and stubborn determination and beauty and magic and frustration. I want to go back.

I want to go be part of the softness, the calm, the magic, the adventure. I want to see what else Wales has to offer. I REALLY want to speak Welsh with Welsh persons. And I want sweatpants.
 In all my searching, I found head scarves and t-shirts and sweatshirts and stuffed animals. I found a treasure of glorious wool socks that are now my very own. I even found a new elemental order. (look closely)

But nowhere did I find any warm, fuzzy pants that said Cymru.
Or Wales. I am sad. But it confirms that I must return to that beloved country soon!

So thank you to everyone - for your contributions of cash and energy.
 And thank you to me, for having the courage to go; for believing that it could be amazing; for believing in myself. For every moment I spoke my truth. And for allowing the magic to continue (closure video).

Because the commitment I made to work on the Happiness book (see video here) is more than just getting the practice into a narrative and cohesive form. It is being open to hearing about others' experiences. It is being able to accept that other people are going to have their opinions and that those opinions don't devalue my experience, they enrich them. It is the vulnerability of being open to receiving as well as expressing. Treating everyone with the same joyful allowance with which I treated Wales.

It is the unconditional love required to make my world a better place.

So Mote it Be.

The road more traveled

Taking the road well traveled by

Has made a difference also

It may be used

But to me it's new

And so I gladly follow

The "beginner's" way - sights always seen

But never with these eyes.

And though the steps are worn-ed well

And many have stories they can tell,

It is the first time for this path and I

And every step I take is my own

Every breath I breathe is unique

Though many before and many after

Have stepped and sat and chattered

In this spot where I now speak

No one has done it this way

My way

Thus this trodden path becomes the road untraveled

I make all the difference

(inspired by interpretations of Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken", and by Happiness)

I release. and I receive.

I release all I no longer need.

Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I release all which no longer serves me.

I release the commitment to MONEY.

I release the belief that my worth is measurable by my income versus expenses ratio.

I release the thought that my worth can be measured in terms of money, intelligence, strength, or skill in a particular area.

I release the idea that my worth is measurable by my choice of profession, hobbies, activities, friends, music, clothes…

I release the belief I have to compare myself to anyone.

I release the belief that my worth can be dictated by any other standards than those I set for myself.

I release the blind following of health - mental or physical or emotional - advice.
 I release the blind belief of any information. About anything. Including my physical appearance, my faith, my future, and my world.

I release connection and commitment to any truth that is not my own, regardless of its source. Even if it was something I believed yesterday.

I release ALL I no longer need.

I accept and receive all I need, all I want, all I desire.

So mote it be.

"What's food got to do, got to do with it?"

"What's food, but a second hand emotion?"

I mean seriously! Today has been a roller coaster of emotion and practice and energy, and through it all I kept thinking about what food would be appropriate -
* To ground
* To console
* To process
* To celebrate
* To take a break
* To discuss (things over)

* and (now), to eat while writing - though that's actually more a replacement for smoking.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhh! And to borrow a phrase WTF?!!

But, I finally stopped reacting in horror and frustration (because my body doesn't really want ALL the food my mind keeps saying I need) and I started thinking.

Thinking back to all the birthdays and report cards and milestone events and gatherings and work parties and after parties -  and every single event included food. Including the "What's your favorite...?"

 Even now, celebrations and gifts and "hang outs" include food. Coffee. Tea. Consumption of some kind.

And it's more than just something to do, though that is helpful. It's a feeling of security, maybe. "As long as there is food, there is life." Therefore, if I am eating, I am going to live. 

But it's not true anymore. In fact, some food can be deadly to some people.

And despite the automatic thought process, food does not bring comfort or emotional stability (though there is that whole blood-sugar/ "hangry" issue.) In fact, food often brings discomfort because I rarely find the exact thing that will balance the feelings, and so I keep craving and keep eating.

Well, that was the habit anyway. Now I'm practicing replacing it. And knowing that it was part of the habits of a life-time, and not "just" a fatal attraction to cake - well, knowledge is power. And in that case, that power is the power to say no.

But I am a little sad. All the wins I had today, all the things I am proud of today, all the ways I KNOW I did my best, and it was a best I would be happy to do again - all of today's movement forward and what I end up writing about is food. (apropos?) 

Because what does food have to do with my happiness? Well, when it's stuff my body can process and utilize for my health and well being, then it has a lot to with it. But when it's a substitute for something else - balance, breathing, facing the next difficult step, accepting awesomeness - well, then, it really has nothing to do with it.

Except to get in the way.

I hope you're having a great day!

-Lila  

Today's happiness practice... um, uh, well...

I have been practicing happiness for years, now.
I have received abundance. I have given of myself.
I know I am still deep in practice mode, and that some habits take longer practice than others, to change.

So why am I sitting here, fighting myself? Maybe not fighting myself, but really not wanting to make a decision?
Or maybe not face the decision I've already made?

Am I trying to made it difficult, challenging, a trial? Something to overcome?

Do I feel I don't deserve something? (okay, uncreate and destroy ALL that that is!)

Am I just tired, tired, tired of using all these new muscles, actually doing what I say, living in my integrity and truth?

Maybe, maybe...

The term that keeps ringing in my head is "Keep it simple."

And the simple question is, "What do I want right now?"
Not next week, not in a year. What do I want today?

Yes, the future matters. I am building the future. But fear of or plans for events that haven't happened yet, possibilities that may never happen, or certainly won't happen like I expect because things are changing every blessed day and who knows what the human race is going to reveal about itself next - that is not relevant to today's needs.

Is it too big? Too pretty? Too luxurious? Too outside my sphere of experience?
Too mainstream? Too positive? ?Too safe?
Am I worried I'm settling or grasping or...
Or...
Or...
Blah! You know what, Lila? It's a distraction. Making it a big deal. Giving it yards and years of importance when it's simply a step.
A change.
A choice.
An experience.
It's something I want to try. And I refuse to judge myself by any other standards than my own.
I asked for this. I accept this. I trust myself and the Universe. I celebrate this change and I allow it to be what it is... not the end all and be all; not huge, not small. Just what it is. Today.

So, today's happiness practice is making a decision and moving on to all the other things I want to do today.

Whoof. Thank you for walking with me through that path!

I hope you're having a great day!
-Lila

Is it cranky in here, or is it just me?

Hello, peoples:

I have been going on and on about what Happiness is. Today, with the high level of cranky out there, I'd like to take a few minutes to type about what Happiness is NOT.

Happiness is NOT being perpetually positive, stiff upper lip, pretend everything is going to be all right, smiling manically every day.

Happiness is NOT forcing myself (or others) to speak or act or behave in a way that belies the inside feelings.

Happiness is NOT singing and dancing, all day long, with sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and little hearts floating all around (though I do believe in those things.)

What Happiness IS, at the heart, is:

• believing, in every moment, that I am doing my best.
• allowing that sometimes my best is not the way I want it to be.
• knowing that I only have choices about what I say or do, and not what the rest of the world says or does. And honestly, sometimes I don't even have choices in my reactions to things - they are automatic, trained, habit, thought patterns so deeply carved in my brain and body it could take an act of terrific (or terrible) proportions to retrain me.

Or a whole 'nother life'stime worth of practice (obviously, I still have a ways to go.)

You may have noticed that the cranky meter is pretty high this week. There is so much going on, so much changing, so much unknown - personally and publically -  and we're really not sure if we're supposed to run in circles, or hide, or pull out the swords and the cannon, or pray. So we end up doing a bit of all of them. And then we chastise ourselves for our reactions, and that cranks the cranky up a notch or two. So we go out to share the cranky with others.

I am not asking us to stay in; stewing in your own cranky is just as bad as mixing in with others'.

I am not asking us to try and be sweetness and light to everyone we meet.

What I am asking is that we believe in ourselves.

Please, believe in yourself. 

Believe you are doing your best every moment. And if you do or say something you wish you'd done differently, then allow yourself to admit that to yourself. No judgement, no blame. Just fact.

 And then step forward again, doing your best.

It is all you can do. It is all, and only, what anyone can do. And it is what we are already doing.

You are doing the best you can do. I am doing my best. She/He/It is doing their best.

We are not comparing ourselves to anyone else; we are not judging ourselves by any standards. A moment happens. We do our best. We like the outcome or we don't. A new moment. We do our best again.

I know you are doing your best, because I know I am doing my best. Every day. Every moment. And I know I am just as awesome as you are, and you are just as amazing as I am. We are equal. And uniquely ourselves.

So don't worry about smiling, if that's not in your toolbox today. Just remember to breathe and believe.

Believe in yourself.

I do.

Thank you.

And I hope we all have a hundred thousand easy breathing cranky free moments for the rest of this most interesting week.

-Lila

Happiness is... the Remaking

Happiness is…

…Remaking myself.

Again.

Yes, yes it is.

It doesn't feel like it. It feels like a drag and a pain and a beating my head against the wall and wanting to take the Divine by the lapels (which will manifest just for this purpose because I said so, bless it!) and shaking and saying/screaming  "Why is this happening to me!!!!!

But, honestly, this "happening" is the quintessential poignancy of Happiness.

Because in any self-improvement program, there is the destruction, the unmaking of self.

And then there is the remaking.

In Happiness, one just does it all at once.

At least, in this day and age one does. It may have been different last century.

But we're not dealing with last century. Or last year. Or even last week.

We're dealing with NOW.

Bless it, bless it, bless it, bless it, bless it.

And now, there is a lot to do and undo and redo and overdo and try again. There's a lot of stuff going on out there! Which means, since I actually am part of the world (more blessings) there are a lot of opportunities to practice Happiness.

What is right for me, in this moment?

Well, I screwed that up - nope, we don't screw up, change vocabulary…

…Well, I am unsatisfied with the results of that choice - I shall make a different choice next time.

I don't like this at all, I'm going to change my mind now.

I am going to step back and breathe.

What is right for me, in this moment?

What do I want RIGHT NOW?

Am I willing to take responsibility for this choice and accept the consequences?

What is right for me, in this moment?

Do I like the results of that action?

Does this resonate with the me I want to be?

BTW, Universe. I am STILL saying NO to that confining option, and saying YES to this expansive opportunity.

So yeah, Happiness is remaking myself. Every day. Choosing, every day. And knowing that eventually this maelstrom will come to an end…

 …okay, actually, no it won't, things don't really stop, they just slow down and speed up - but this global transition period will settle into some calm growing years and I will be ready to enjoy them because I've been dancing across the ice the whole blessed time and it will be so nice to dance in place.

At least I like to dance!

So, Happiness is…

…remembering it's all about me.

Allowing it to be all about me.

About making my choices for my greatest and highest good.

Because the happier I am, the happier the world will be.

 I hope you are remembering to breathe,

-Lila

(ps - yes, I am still working on the book. yay me!)

Can one be sad in Happiness Practice?

video version

Yes, it turns out one can.

                                                                                                                   

But it takes others to tell you.

Or it takes others to tell me, anyway.

Because when one is a Happiness Practitioner (say it with importance,) one KNOWS one has the tools. Therefore one should use them, right? (Physician, Heal thyself!)

But sometimes -- and when things get really full and frantic, sometimes one can't see the trees for the forest --  sometimes, one misses things.

 I think I'm whizzing along, practicing all my steps, or at least aware of what I'm not practicing, and I can feel there's something missing, but I just can't tell what it is, and I write and I read and I search and I play and sing and drink and eat (and stop eating and stop drinking) and I grasp at possibilities, but there's still no forward movement and I'm searching and I'm believing, and I can't find the comfy blanket!

And I totally deny being sad, because of course I'm not sad. Working through things, yes; introspective, sure; choosing between two equally looming and potentially positive possibilities, definitely.

Feeling a hole in the center of my heart and I really don't know why? Yes.

I'll be honest. I thought it was because a book had broken my heart. (Teen books can be devastating.)

But actually, I'd forgotten that there were more than two possibilities. There are ALWAYS more possibilities.

Happily, I have been getting better and better at listening to myself and asking for help, so I had already set up a reading with Lois from Spellbound. (Yes, the woman who makes my hair feel special. She rocks. I highly recommend her.)

And also happily, my best friend Sheri has been yanking me back from the Bog of Eternal Stench (I smell nothing!) and reminding me that "We don't play the limitation game, anymore."

And through Lois, the Universe reminded me, very nicely, very gently, but in no uncertain terms, that I am a writer.

Which, as I look back, I realize I had been trying to tell myself for the last week. Or two. Or ten. Or two years. Or…

But Oh! The resistance!

I feel like I've locked myself in that dark room I've been fumbling around in - oh, wait, I never posted that piece.

I can't see how this can work, when it hasn't worked before. And yes, I have finished and submitted and self-published three other books.

But. Happiness isn't about knowing HOW it can work.

Happiness is about knowing that it CAN work.

This is where faith comes in, Lila.  The hard faith. The deep faith. The "take a deep breath and step off the cliff" faith.

Because, for me, believing in Glorious Omnipotent Divine (GOD) is easy. So easy. I've been talking to Him, Her, Them, Us, All since I heard the song "I have a friend in Jesus." And I have felt the connection to Spirit since I learned the song "Eagle's Wings." I once wanted to be a nun.

Even as I worked my way through pantheons and belief systems and associated music, I have never been Spiritually alone.

No, the hard faith, believe it or not (ha, ha) is in myself. Here. Alone. In this room. With my best friend asleep so many miles away, and my peeps each in their own houses living their own lives, and my husband asleep in the next room - heck, even the cat is asleep right over there.

It's just me. Here. No music.  Not helping others or listening to others or writing about others. Sometimes remembering to breathe. Me.

Asking not what I can do for the world, but what I can do for myself.

So here's what I can do for me today - and believe me, once my eyes were open and focused and the heart filled and the unacknowledged sadness dissipated, so many signs and omens and doors and possibilities have been crowding into my mind that I almost can't think straight enough to type, but I'm sure going to commemorate my metaphorical grasping of the pen once more with words -

So, today…

Well, actually, today Lois the Universe asked me if I would work on my book about Happiness and get it out there - anywhere and everywhere. And I said yes. (yay me!)

And since I'd brought all my guides and guardians, unicorns and elements in with me, I kind of have to do it.

Anyway, today another friend said, of a creative project she is working on, (and I paraphrase): "I am going to talk about it and talk about it. And the good energy of so many people focusing on it will help it grow strong."

So I am going to practice talking about it - the writing. My writing. My book. I'm going to talk about my book. And I'm going to allow the good energy of the people who believe in me to help me manifest my heart's desire.

It must be the right choice. I am so fucking scared right now.

And so blessedly relieved.

Yes, there is sadness in the Happiness practice.

Happily, there is also shouting and arm waving and friends who provide assistance before our dreams drift away to join the "Big black horse and the cherry tree" that KT Tunstall sings about.

Thank you.

And I hope you have a great day!

-L

Love is a Microwave

🎶"My husband loves me,
This I know.
My microwave, it tells me so."🎵

Yes, love is a microwave.

The thing is, I haven't had a proper cup of tea since we started moving. That was over a week ago. I haven't had oatmeal either. I miss my oatmeal.

It's true; I could have cooked it on the stove. I do know how to boil water and add the appropriate ingredients.

But I am not that good a cook.

I am an amazing microwave cook.

In a microwave, I can set the timer, go to the bathroom, get sidetracked by the laundry, remember I need to put something on the grocery list, see an email I want to answer, and then wonder why I am hungry. And back in the kitchen, my oatmeal has cooked to perfection.

On a stove, it would be cooked to a dry, desert crisp. Possibly with a smoke alarm serenade.
Water for tea would be boiled over.
I have destroyed skillets with my lack of attention.
In other words, a cup of tea is just not worth it.

So to come home on a night when the chill of the wind has me expecting snow in the forecast, (Which there isn't. It's supposed to be 60 tomorrow!) and find the microwave set up and ready for use...

That is happiness.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with Earl Grey.

I hope you have a great (and warm) day!
-Lila

.

Can the world change?

I want the world to change.

I want our value to be based on what we do, instead of what we have.

I want everyone, everywhere, to be able to wake up and do whatever they love, and do it to the best of their ability.

I want everyone, everywhere, to be able to receive whatever they need, and receive the best quality and quantity.

I want everyone, everywhere to be doing community service because they are part of the community that is receiving the service.

And I'm not sure humanity can handle it. We seem to thrive on struggle, on challenge. On rules and rewards and demerits. Perhaps it is something chemical that drives us, to reach and explore and pit ourselves against each other. To judge. To be the best, to have the most, to be the name in the history book.

After all the games we have created, after all the challenges we have thrown into our own paths, can any of us be satisfied with mastering the struggle of simply being our best every day?

Maybe, if we see it as the ultimate challenge. The challenge of being unique. The challenge of accepting ourselves without judgment.

Can I do it? Can you do it? Can we sit, just for five minutes, and let ourselves be? Can we exist, can we breathe, without the addictive adrenaline surge of worry and anxiety and comparison taught to us by society? Can I strive, every day, to be the best of me, and have it be enough?

 Can we allow ourselves all to be alpha, to be equal, to all have what we need, and to all do what we like to do, and to ALL be peaceful and joyful and competitive without harm to others? To live and experience and create and receive?

Can we, as humans, meet that challenge of creating a world that does not require the downfall, the humiliation, the subservience of another being?

Can the world change?

Let's find out.

I hope you're having a great day!
-Lila

Why Donald Trump?

I am a writer. And I have created a fantasy world.  

In this alternate Earth, there is a place called Ainland, that is ruled by a Queen.

Naturally there are people who expect they can do a better job of ruling, who want to make Ainland a better place according to their faith and their needs. They storm the castle and take the throne. But once they put the crown upon their head, She or He or It becomes the next Queen. Literally. Personal preference and past connections are forgotten; and the new female ruler is compelled to do what is best for the Land and the people.

Things obviously don’t work that way in America. Every human being, including the elected officials, business heads, philosophers, and spiritual leaders - everyone has free will. And a variety of opinions and beliefs.

So when Donald Trump swears himself into the office of the President of the United States, he will not magically transform into the best being or gender for the job. But what he will become is the elected official. Chosen through the system that is in place - a system based upon the opinions and choices of each and every citizen of the country. It may not be the best system but, since we don’t have a magic crown, it is the system we are working with. 

Our job now is to accept the choice, and, while we work to create a better system, work with the President we have. Even if he is the first person in the oval office to have a less than sterling character.

Oh, wait. He’s not.

Philandering, bias, looking out for their own interests, prejudice, misogyny… We (the people) have seen it all. And setting aside sexual misconduct (presumed or known,) what about the policies and intentions and actions for or against a specific race or class or gender or faith? These issues didn’t just spring up over the latest election night. 

Despite the documents which clearly state the purpose of our government, and the reason for the founding of this country, the current system does not treat all men and women as equal; nor does it afford them - afford us - equal self-evident chances to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

And since the system is made up of people, that means we as the people are not treating each other as equal. 

But maybe that is because we are not treating ourselves as deserving of equality. We have been hiding ourselves, desperately attempting to fit in, to either mold ourselves, or show the mask of social correctness. Finding the pack that will ensure the survival of our beliefs.

Or if that doesn’t work, trying to change the pack to fit our beliefs. Our needs. Throw a tantrum. Lash out. Bully our neighbors.

And now we have in office a man who is,or so I’ve heard (I’ve never actually read one of his books or watched a speech,) a bully, a braggart, an opinionated, self-righteous, misogynistic business man. An “ugly American.”

It appears he’s not hiding anything. We know of his actions and attitudes towards women, toward immigrants and aliens (though I’m not sure about ALIENS.) We know his attitudes toward races and classes and businesses. Towards celebrities and popular culture.

We know that because of his election, more people are showing themselves. White supremacists. Religious fanatics. Military extremists. Feminism. Black Rights. Gay rights. Human Rights. Activists for and against any number of beliefs and opinions.

We know that the emperor has no clothes; and he isn’t trying to tell us that he does. And so people feel it’s okay to strip off their own costumes.

And I think that is great. I think it’s time to be able to be ourselves. To stand up for our beliefs. To express the truth in our hearts. That is freedom! Not to inflict my belief on someone else, but definitely to be able to stand on the street corner and express with words my opinion. No matter what it is.

To each express and celebrate ourselves and our beliefs without fear of violence or oppression. Even if those beliefs are that the Native Americans make better New York cops than the Irish Americans (cuz of the horses.) Or that African American men are the only ones allowed to sing the bass line in the Hallelujiah Chorus. (It’s a gospel thing.) Or that homosexual Americans have better math skills than hetrosexual Americans. (Yeah, I have no basis for that one.)

I don’t expect you to believe all rulers should be Queen. 

What I’m asking, what I am practicing, is honoring and respecting the opinions of my fellow Americans, and allowing the country to continue it’s growth.

Maybe Donald Trump is the best representative for the country right now, this Ugly American. This brash inarticulate business man who wants to “Make America Great Again.” This being whose existence is bringing out the worst and the best in us.

Who knows what we really need? Except for the system to change. To allow us all to live - not similar lives, not cookie cutter versions of a single belief system - but equally. Each and every one of us secure in our truths and beliefs: lion and wolf and gazelle and eagle and dinosaur. Yellow and red and black and white and brown. Pine, juniper, willow, oak, and palm tree. Side by side. Honoring the fact that as people we are all equal. And all allowed our opinions.

Maybe his wall is a good thing.

But let’s not stop at Mexico. Let’s build one up by Canada too. Let’s enclose ourselves in a cocoon. So we can finish this transformation cycle. So that we can work it out amongst ourselves - we the people who have CHOSEN to stay here in the United States of America - we can argue and prophecy, protest and express, learn and conquer our fears and find ourselves.

And we can emerge a more civilized people who truly carry out the mandates on which the country was built.

 

One nation (not two parties and an unheard majority,)

 under GOD (no belief or title designated,) 

indivisible (unless we’re talking sports events,)

 with Liberty and Justice and equality for ALL.

Thank you.

Thank you for reading my opinion.

And I hope you have a great day.

-Lila

Wish (for 2017)

video & blog are pretty much the same thing

Hello my friends. And happy birth of a new year.

What an interesting year 2016 has been, full of torrential transition and emotional extremes. If you're like me, you're looking back and saying (possibly with sarcasm) "That was awesome!"

More importantly, you're looking forward and saying, with sincerity and desire, "How can 2017 be better?"

The answer is - In every possible way.

I believe 2017 is going to be better. Happier. More connected. More equal. More true. More desires realized and more realities expanded.

And it is thanks to you that I have such a bright future ahead of me. Each and every one of you has been a part of my journey, and I would not be here without you to walk with, sing with, strive with or against. You have helped me realize my happiness, and I am grateful.

So my gift to you, should you choose to receive it, is a wish, a prayer, a spell. A hope. A dream. An energetic outpouring - of abundance, prosperity, riches.

Some of you may receive cards, but frankly I have a habit of writing things and never sending them, so we're going to do it differently this year.

If you're like me, you occasionally find coins or other forms of currency abundance in random places - the parking lot, a river bank, in the closet, in the car.

This year, at least one of those finds is from me.

This year, I am taking (have taken) my lucky cat bank, full coins and paper, and I am scattering the treasure that is inside. Into water. Into the air. Into the earth. Even into fire.

I am sending out into the universe a symbolic gift of abundance. A prayer, wish, desire, spell, intent that with every effort, every energy output, every interaction you put into the universe...
...you receive back all you need, all you want, all YOU desire.

And so my dears, after you find this gift, clutch it in your hand and receive the abundant possibilities. 

And then, spend it! As societally minor as the denomination is, use it when you buy that book, those shoes, the groceries. Deposit it for the bills, the rent, the vacation getaway. Let it represent all the awesomeness coming your way to make your life easier, happier, healthier, more comfortable. Let it be for YOU.

We expend our energy to make the world a better place, for each other and for our loved ones. So please allow your world to be a better place for you.

May abundance flow; be a grace that you enjoy.

May your riches feed you; and may you employ

Prosperity to keep you

Hale, hearty, whole.

And may your happiness be anchored in your soul.

I hope, I expect you to have a great year!

-Lila

What has changed?

So we woke up this morning with a new president in America, and everything has changed.

Oh. Wait. No it hasn't.

First of all, the new president won't even take office until January, 2017. We still have the Holiday season to celebrate/survive before that official change takes place.

And second - well, let's see.

I still had to talk myself into getting out of bed this morning.
I still have to eat and drink and stretch and dress.
I still have to drive into work.
I still have to communicate with clients and coworkers and friends and family (Or not, as we choose.)
I still have to use the bathroom and put gas in the car and sit down and stand up and turn around. And NOT play dead.
I still have to choose, every minute, which direction to take, which response to make, which truth to embody.
I still have to trust in myself and in the Glorious Omnipotent Divine.
I still have to be.

So what has changed this morning?

Nothing.

I am the center of my Universe, and my universe is still rolling right along.

So I will too.

I hope you have a warm and Universally Divine day!
-Lila

"We don't say "Blah, blah, blah!""

It has been a long while (for me) since I have written. Not even since I've posted, but since I've WRITTEN. Anything. Journal or blog or even tweet.

Part of the restriction, resistance, block, hurdle seems to be that there is so much going on in my head again! What is today's happiness practice? How do I get the word out about my workshops in a way I resonate with? I haven't done a newsletter in ages, but the newsletter isn't technically a consensual form of communication anymore. Food, glorious food. Is reading a form of distraction? Like eating? How do I set up a consensual email list? I need a brochure of all my classes. I want to bring more money in.And if you're like me, you want to fulfill my writing goals this month. I have workshops to give and workshops to take. Getting things done doesn't do it for me. I want more people in my workshops. Who does all this frantic anxiety belong to? I am expansive. I am happy. Feeling instead of force. Deeper than the tears, you will find me.Why do cats like string? Where's Perry? It's almost October.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

But it's not blah. It's not even babble. It's the hundreds of ideas and desires raising their hands and wanting to be realized NOW! So much that could be done.

At least I know that. It's not that there's "So much to do." No shoulds. No limitations on the future.

It's that there's so much that can be done. So many possibilities. So much expansion and connection.

I'm already there. I can feel the abundance and joy and ease and grace and happiness! Every day, when I breathe, I can feel that connection.

But sometimes that expansion, that abundance just seems to fuel the Greek chorus in my head. (some people have monkeys, some have lizards, my mind is dressed in togas and lounging around a white marble fountain, eating grapes. Could be why I burst into song; though I never have learned the songs from "A funny thing happened on the way to the  Forum." Are there songs? I think there are songs. Look it up. Blah, blah. blah!)

There are answers. There are tools. There are mantras.

Breathe.
Accept.
Release the resistance.
Simple but significant.
Use what I have.
One step at a time.
Self care.
Who does that belong to?
15 minutes.
"Nothing to do with me - BIH"
Connect. Expand. Breathe.
Do I really want that?
Mind with matter.

The greek chorus dances, but it still doesn't get anything done. The truth come from the heart. I'm the only one who can do what I want to do. I get to choose. I AM.

Is it time to sleep yet?

I feel... (blah, blah, blah)
I think... (blah, blah, blah)
I am...

I am allowing abundance.
I am looking forward to today.
I am asking "What else is possible?"
I am stopping, everytime I start feeling like running around, and I am breathing, and I am focusing on one thing at a time.
And I am knowing that I will be sleeping tonite, and that's almost here, and there's still so much I can do today.

I am Lila.
I am the center of my universe.
I am the chooser of my reality.
I am part of the Divine.

There is no blah, blah, blah. But the real truths are in my center, not in my head.

I am Lila. And I am happy.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Happiness Practice - Appreciating myself

Today I am going to appreciate myself.

And I don't mean this in the "believe in myself", "give myself props", "accept myself" fashion (though I expect I will do that too.)

Today, I am going to look back on past choices and give myself some "atta-girl"s. And some "well-done"s.

Specifically, I am going to celebrate how awesome my recent vacation was.

In the past, vacation meant I should huddle up and eat a lot and read a lot of books and play games and do "MY" stuff.

But this time, vacation meant hanging out with my husband. Enjoying him. Appreciating him and all his wonderful eccentricities.

And I did this for me, not for him. I allowed myself to see him as a person, to accept him as who he is with all his, um, interesting quirks. And yeah, he has a lot of quirks, in my opinion. But, interestingly, that made all the really cool stuff seem even more awesome.

And yes, I also read books. And ate a lot. And even played a game or two.

But, as I look forward to having a job outside of the home, and the uncertainty of future time together, I am so appreciative that I took the offered time and really enjoyed the person I've been with for over 20 years.

Today I'm going to appreciate myself, and all the awesome choices I have made.

Yay me!

I hope you have a great, and appreciative, day!
-Lila

If you're like me.... Today, happiness is... Not.

If you're  like me, it's been an interesting few days. Where interesting can be translated as "painful", "frustrating," "difficult," "mind-bending," "weight gaining," "bad hair," and "suck-ass". 

So what do we do, with all this pain, all this frustration, the desire to simply return to the shell, the womb, the bed, the other world? When all of our tricks and tips and tools seem useless against the waves of anguish? When you look in the mirror and really don't like what you feel? When it's all you can do to be civil - and bright and cheerful is no longer an option? What do we do?

Between all the posts on FB, and my personal feelings, the first thought in my head is we just push the red button! But. That's not the advice I would give to anyone else. And knowing we teach that which we most need to learn, I shall reach a little deeper than the pain and say…

We let go and we accept.

We stop trying to analyze. We stop hyperventilating. We stop forced deep breathing. We drop the bootstraps. We lower our chin. We drop the load and we stop grinning.

We give in. "I am in a nasty, sulky mood." "I feel awful and sad and frustrated." "I feel like giving up." "I feel pain." "I just don't care."

I have to tell you, the minute I started thinking that, my mood elevated. Because I was free of the self-imposed prison of who I ought to be.

I am allowed to be crabby. I am allowed to feel less than 100%. There is no reason. No rhyme. I don't know where the pain is, and I don't know why I feel it today. I don't what I'm allergic to. I don't know what's annoying me. I don't know how deep the grief is and if it will ever end and what will set it off this time. I don't know what tomorrow brings. And I am so tired of answering these questions. Tired of asking these questions. Tired of working.

I give in. Today, I give up. I am not going to push against the walls of anything; I’m not going to resist the grumpy mood, and I sure am not going try and accomplish anything when my mood is like this. I'd just have to do it over.

So I accept. I release. I let go. And I ply myself with as many caramel chocolate yogurt shakes as I want.

Because, if you're like me, when you're happy, there is no struggle. There is no resistance. There may be fear, uncertainty, and definitely a lot of practice. But none of this "oh, shoot me now!" despair. None of this blind beating against an invisible wall.

And if you're like me, you want to be happy all the time, yes?

But, if you're like me, you're human, and the weather turns, and we age, and stuff hurts. So. In order to be happy, we have to allow all the emotions to have play. The grumpy, the angry, the righteous, the goofy, the dopey, and the sad. To be in our truth, we have to be IN our truth, even if that truth is not bathing for a week or binging on alphabetizing everything in the home.

If you're like me, you eventually accept yourself, even when you're the Bitch from the Back of the Beyond. You give in. You declare. You celebrate.

And, in the middle of your pity party, you find a small gleaming nugget of happiness. Because, if you're like me, accepting your truth of the moment has set you free.

I hope you have a(n) [insert adjective here] day.

-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome - and Light

As in not heavy. As in expansive. As in free.

Perhaps enlightenment isn't about ascending, or about feeling smarter or holier. Perhaps enlightenment is about weightlessness. The bright bubbling joy of feeling light on my feet. Light in my head. Light as air.

With air, we fly. We may need to use a lot of heavy machinery to get there, but we are spacious and expansive in the air.

And even when the water freezes, we find ways to move lightly across is. To be light. To flow smoothly. To fly. 

What about summer, when we remove all our clothes, open up to the sun. Free ourselves from the shelters we've created. We stretch and lighten up. The earth itself expands, opening out to accept the light.

And do we not dance? Light on our feet? Flashing like the fire that skips and bubbles and pops when it is doing what it was created to do? Dancing, are we not connected with every other flowing being, through the sound of music and the flow of movement and the flashing light?

Enlightenment - that joyful, airy, nirvana moment of peace and acceptance and balance -- perhaps it is about light. Being light. Being expansive, embracive, feet won't touch the ground and everything is dancing and flowing, we are all connected, and the smile won't leave my face, light.

I hope you are EN LIGHT every moMENT you desire it!

-Lila