But why Why?

 I have long had a discordant relationship with the word "Why."

It's too easy to get caught up in the why of something - get wrapped into the reasons and the past activities which leads to agonizing over past choices and wishing and reimagining. Which is all lovely and whatever, but it rarely solves the problem at hand.  And I am left with a feeling of helplessness and time wasted. So I have been a big proponent of "Why doesn't matter. What matters is what we do next."

Yeah, which is great, except for when the why does actually matter.

For example: why am I feeling hazy in the brain?

It could be allergies. It could be a lack of oxygen. It could be a cold. It could be lack of sleep. It could be the need for more water. It could be a stress reaction from an event or from a trigger. It could be burn out. It could be my glasses need to be cleaned and I'm translating fuzzy eyes to fuzzy brain. 

Each of these things has a different fix. So the why is important.

Which is annoying as... a very annoying thing (insert favorite adjective or curse word here)! Because pausing to figure out the reason takes time. Uggh. So  much time. And sometimes that is a triggering thing right there.

I have spent years, YEARS, working on myself, trying to achieve this or that and maintain it for longer that a breath, and every time I have reached a summit, I find a new challenge and while I'm busy exploring the new the old unravels which means I probably didn't have the right answer which means I probably didn't know the right why which means AAAAAAAGH!!!!

Yup. Frustrated. It could be because I have burnout. It could be because I'm tired. It could be because I'm hungry. It could be because...

You know, in books, they already know the why - well, the characters may not know but the author knows and it's going to be revealed eventually because there is an audience to inform so everything will come out and they don't actually have to make any decisions because someone else is making the decisions for them. And.

Hmm. I think I'm going to go read a book.