The Voices in my head need to start singing together!

I just finished doing my morning connection/prayers and I realized that I only feel like I was giving them half of my attention.

I know I said all the words. I know I meant the connection. But I also know that I was thinking about my latest physical and was the sun going to show itself today and does my tree have enough water and...

It's like that when I'm driving also - at least on familiar routes. I think I am paying attention - because there are a lot of pedestrians in this town. And sometimes blinkers don't work. And then I get to my destination and get out and look back at my car and realize my parking is really wonky and I'm not sure how I got there. But I have figured out what I want to do next on my work project.

It happens when I'm taking a shower. Or doing my exercises. Or eating a meal. My brain starts taking off in random directions, worrying or niggling, and I'm no longer paying real attention to the here and now. I think I'm multi tasking - but not really. I'm just not paying attention.

I used to think it was very cool that I could hear two (and if I really worked at it, three) musical parts in my head. But now it's time to weave those voices back together in one strong voice that says what I really want it to say; guides my body to what I really want it to do; pays attention to the physical world so I can act and react in a safe and beneficial way for myself and be aware that I've done it! 

For the morning prayer, it's easy enough (well, easy enough to figure out how to do it - not so sure if it's easy enough to do it.) I speak out loud; so I want to think the words at the same time I'm speaking them. 

Humorously, as I write this, I realize my words go a little before the actual act of writing. And there is a dipping into something? A wandering off? in order for there to be the next thought or idea.

And there is the internal editor, watching the words as they appear on the page and making corrections.

Ugh. Can you imagine what it would be like if all of those different mental attentions came together and focused on one thing? Can you imagine driving with all of the attention on the road and the traffic and how the car is handling? Can you imagine eating with all attention on the food and the flavor and how the utensils feel and the chewing and digesting? 

Is this what athletes feel like? They have to be aware of their bodies and the next move and the signals from outside.

Maybe doing anything requires a lot of split focus - because  ideally, we are paying attention to outside signals and we're interpreting that data and we're inhabiting our body AND we're doing whatever (typing or eating or driving or walking or pushing a puck or singing a note or speaking or solving or resting or watching.) 

Maybe it's not just MINDFULNESS. Or, maybe it's time to add another phrase to that word bouquet. Attention. 

Hmm. I'm going to have to think about this one.