Enlightenment is Awesome - Everyone is a customer

As you may know, I have been searching for income in addition to my writing/coaching/bookkeeping business. Because (total frustration and confusion re marketing myself aside) I find part of my happiness when interacting with and helping people.

This means that one of the fields I enjoy is customer service. In fact, if you look at it, most things I like to do are customer service. What is coaching but helping the customer? What is divination but finding answers for the customer? As my friend L Hawkins said, most of the things we do are about providing service to another person.

So. I like customer service. Yay!

And I'm good at it. I know that the key to customer service - whether it's a two minute cash transaction, or an hour long rune reading - is to be attentive to what the customer wants. To accept the customer as a person; to create a connection; and to be open to using all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find an answer.
And, most important?, I know the hidden fact - that customer and service provider share the power of the moment.

But then at home, interacting with family, I find myself so full of frustration and angst.
But then I need a service, and I get timid and closed off and scared.

And I ask myself, why can't I find in my life the ease and connection I find in my work? Why do I feel like two different people?

And yeah, my first reaction was "Because no one else is as awesome and open and understanding as I am."

But in truth, it's because I was two different people. Out in the world, providing service, I KNEW that I didn't know my customers very well. I was open to them being whomever they wanted. I knew we shared power.

While at home, I expected family to have certain thoughts, beliefs. or actions based on our shared experiences. Based on my perception of our shared experiences. We circled each other trying to figure out who had the power.

And when I was a customer who needed help, I became defensive because I didn't like not having the knowledge I needed. The business I needed service from had all the power.

And how unfair is that? Why was I giving some people total open respect and connection, and others none at all? Because I was getting paid?

Well, no. But I was laboring under a few delusions. One being that if someone is getting paid, they automatically have all the knowledge and power they need.
And two, that the word "family" automatically infers all members with the magical ability to be perfect.
And three, that I, being the center of my universe, should be operating in accordance with all my morals and ethics and inner rules, all the time.

But we are all just people. It doesn't matter what title we hold in relation to each other; it doesn't matter who is getting or giving the money; it doesn't matter what the business or activity is. We are all people, providing services to ourselves and other people. We all have power, in every situation.

We are all customers.

The key is to be attentive to the wants of myself and the person I am communicating with - whether a five minute conversation, or a life-time relationship. To accept each person as an individual person. And to be open, to use all my experience, knowledge, intuition, and universal connection to find the truth of the moment.

The key is to treat every person, including myself, with the respect and courtesy and shared power that I would offer to a customer. Whether that person is a sibling or a service provider, a husband or a doctor, a parent or a waitress, self or stranger - Every person has the same right to be seen as an unique individual inhabiting her own universe.

Everyone is a customer, with all the rights and obligations that entails.

Even me.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Happiness Practice - Appreciating myself

Today I am going to appreciate myself.

And I don't mean this in the "believe in myself", "give myself props", "accept myself" fashion (though I expect I will do that too.)

Today, I am going to look back on past choices and give myself some "atta-girl"s. And some "well-done"s.

Specifically, I am going to celebrate how awesome my recent vacation was.

In the past, vacation meant I should huddle up and eat a lot and read a lot of books and play games and do "MY" stuff.

But this time, vacation meant hanging out with my husband. Enjoying him. Appreciating him and all his wonderful eccentricities.

And I did this for me, not for him. I allowed myself to see him as a person, to accept him as who he is with all his, um, interesting quirks. And yeah, he has a lot of quirks, in my opinion. But, interestingly, that made all the really cool stuff seem even more awesome.

And yes, I also read books. And ate a lot. And even played a game or two.

But, as I look forward to having a job outside of the home, and the uncertainty of future time together, I am so appreciative that I took the offered time and really enjoyed the person I've been with for over 20 years.

Today I'm going to appreciate myself, and all the awesome choices I have made.

Yay me!

I hope you have a great, and appreciative, day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - What works for me?

Today I am going to search for what works for me.

I am currently (still!) in the process of finding another job - a job that uses my brain, uses my skills, and still provides opportunity for me to learn something. I have been fretting over how long it's taking, and over how there are so many cool sounding jobs for which I am not qualified - not enough experience, not enough education, not enough... not enough... not enough...

And when submitting resumes and cover letters; when driving through the town staring at possibilities; when sitting up at night looking toward the future; I have been thinking, who wants me? What do I have to be to fit into your place? What parts of my experience are worthy of working for you?

And that thinking is totally against all of my happiness practice.

What my experience tells me is there are many opportunities out there that fit into MY criteria for a great possible future.

What my experience tells me is that any job that I try to reshape myself for, is going to be a job I soon begin to hate.

What my experience tells me is, the questions I need to ask are: Who do I want? Does your place fit my style and my needs? What places are out there who can best utilize my experience and help in my growth?

Who is worthy of me?

And who, what, will be able to fulfill and accommodate all these swirling, barely articulated possibilities?

Yes, I want more income. Yes, I am looking for another job. Yes, it's a big search through thousands of possibilities. Yes, sometimes I am frustrated and scared.

But today, I am going to practice believing in my Universe, believing in my happiness. And I am going to search, not for how I can fit into somebody else's mold, but for the molds that are made just for me.

Today, and hopefully for the rest of this process, I am going to search for the work that works for me.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

The hero in me honors the hero in you

As a society, we honor and revere people who do extra-ordinary things. Life saving, death defying, super human things. We put these people, these skilled and amazing beings, up on pedestals and we sometimes allow ourselves to feel small because we are not stronger than a speeding bullet or richer than Neptune.

But the thing is, these heroes, these amazing beings, aren't any more awesome than you or me. They are simply being themselves to the best of their ability. They are really good at what they've chosen to do - yes, totally. And they work very hard at what they do. But still, the things we consider heroic or awesome are merely byproducts of them being themselves 100%.

I am not saying this to denigrate the accomplishments of our heroes, corporeal and fictional. I am saying this to expand our awareness of ourselves.

We are all heroes.

Every day, we get out of bed. Every day we live. Every day, we go about our business. And we smile at our friends, and we help strangers, and we toil and we think and we talk and we connect or we don't as we feel able. Every day we spend time and thought and effort. Every day, we each are ourselves to the best of our ability.

Every day, we are heroes. Not "Ordinary heroes". Not "super heroes". Just heroes. Because sweeping the sidewalk with care is just as important as pulling puppies from burning buildings. And helping a customer find a book is as life-altering as building a school in a war torn country.

Because when we are ourselves, and we do the best we can, we become shiny. We become confident. We walk with knowledge of power. And we inspire that powerful walk in others. We awaken the confidence. We spark the shiny. We validate the hero in each other.

Every day, we change the lives of every one we connect with. Every day! We smile where there wasn't a smile before, or we cry where there were no tears.

Every day, we move and act and choose and believe or not, and we change the world.

Every day we are heroes.

Every day, you are a hero. Just by being you. And the more you you are, the more you do what you do and be what you be, the more heroic you become.

And so do I.

The hero in me honors the hero in you. Thank you, for choosing to save the world today!

-Lila

Enlightenment is Awesome - Give it up!

I have come to the conclusion that human beings are naturally hoarders. We live to possess - things, experiences, people. We judge ourselves by the accumulation of skills, friends, money, and objects.

Memories.

Choices.

Mistakes.

Dramas.

We hoard our dramas. We collect negative outcomes and brood over oppressive scenarios. We linger lovingly over the ills and sorrows and downswings.

And further, we throw down these experiences like cards in a poker game. I see your sprained ankle and I raise you a compound fracture. We revel in our collections of broken dreams.

And then we go home and we sit up into the dark of the night and we wonder why our lives suck. And we fret about more future problems. And we console ourselves that at least our collection does not include dictators, or abuse, or homelessness, or whatever condition is actually worse than our own. And we convince ourselves that we are happy with our collection of experiences, because we are better off than someone else.

Now, we know, most of us, because many successful people have said it, that the real key to happiness, to a non-sucky life, is to let go of this collection. To free ourselves of the dragging weight of past patterns; to revel in the awesomeness of the moment; to eradicate the grim possibilities of the future based on current difficult circumstances. To BELIEVE.

But how does one let go? Let be? Release?

Is it even possible, for most humans? Because our natural inclination is to gather. To claim. To possess. To use.

These are not bad traits. These traits are what have allowed us, as a species, to thrive.We use what is around us. We gather and create. We claim, and by claiming something, we connect with it, we care about it. We love it. And that love drives us. So we come to love, to connect with anything we consider ours. Including debt, hate, fear, pain, and future tragedies.

And just letting them go, no matter how painful they are, seems wasteful. Or even harmful to others. Because we know those possibilities exist - so if we just let them fly into the wind, will they land on someone else, some innocent? Better to just keep them, and deal with them.

Well, I believe there is another way.

I believe, actually, that this is where the connection with something more expansive than ourselves is important.

Because if you believe in a God, Goddess, Spirit, the Universe, the Divine, or a pantheon or reality or collective that is expansive enough to encompass the whole of the world, omnipotent enough to be aware of every falling dove, connected enough to be constantly present, strong enough to accept each and every one of us - if you believe in a Greatness, then you have a way to get rid of your hoard of pain.

You can give it up. Hand it over. Place it into the care of the Great Awareness.

Obviously, this immense Being (who is Omnipotent and Omnipresent, and has been around since the beginning of our collective thoughts) is capable of handling anything. Has experienced all of it already. In fact, cannot be surprised by any possibility. And cannot be eradicated by it either.

Obviously, this is no young innocent, wandering blithely through the world. This is the Universe! Obviously, having already experienced all of the atrocities and joys in the entire world, this Awareness can handle any of the crap we have gone through, or fear to go through.

And with all of the horrors, the Spirit has experienced ALL of the joys to balance.

And if you believe, as I do, that we are part of the Divine, that means whatever we experience, fear, love, feel and be and do is felt and done by the Divine as well.

So really, we're just giving to God what She already has.

So give it up. Hand it over. Let the Universe carry the burdens. It is big and strong. It has survived everything. It still creates beauty. The sun still rises. The rainbows still come out and the birds still sing.

And we can always take it back - the pain, the horror, the past, the future - if we really want.

But I can tell you from experience, when you give it up, you realize how little you needed it in the first place. Because when you GIVE, you have room for new things to come into play. You have room to breathe and expand and allow.

You have room to RECEIVE.

Give up the fear. And see what flows gently, softly, quietly in to take it's place.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

What am I dreaming?

If you're like me, you're an advocate for following your dreams. Go for the gold. Reach that star and grab the brass ring!

And so, if you're like me, it seems almost sacrilegious to be looking for a job.

Yes, that's right. I'm going back on the market. Because, you know, I like to eat. And have walls between myself and my mountains when I choose. And I haven't purchased new shoes in AGES!

And I find the prevalent emotion I'm feeling is confusion. Because shouldn't I be devastated that my writing hasn't paid off? Shouldn't I be railing at the universe and tearing my hair and berating myself for not working harder, faster, whatever?

But I'm not. (Okay - I'm not anymore. I did already go through that frustration, and I thank all those who have listened to me vent.)

Now, I'm actually asking myself a different question.

Is writing really my dream?

Don't get me wrong. I love writing. I love the physical act of it, and I love the creation aspect. I love the mystery and the playing with words and the way things just seem to fall into place. I love the database of characters and the time lines and the 1000 different ideas I have stored away on the computer.

But...

But...

What does it produce? What does it do? What is the purpose of my writing?

When I put a book in a customer's hand, I know what I'm producing. There is a tangible sense of completion and accomplishment. There is a purpose.

When I reconcile a bank statement, or file a stack of papers, or even pay a bill, there is an immediate return on the energy investment.

When I listen to a customer or client, when I do a reading, when I sing at the bedside, there is an active participation of self and other. A connection, perhaps.

When I am writing, there is none of this. Even when I know I am writing for a specific audience. Even as I am writing this. There is no active exchange. There is no expectation of return.

This is a passive connection.

And I'm thinking that, despite my love for the writing, I need more.

Is my passion, my purpose, my dream (whatever it may be) actually more active? More direct? More immediate?

Because I have had plenty of opportunity to make this work, this writing thing. Options and avenues and learning moments. And I am still here, facing a story of great busy-ness, but little satisfaction. Even taking the monetary aspect out of the picture, I have little to show for all my trying.

I can honestly say I did my best every day. I lived my truth every day. And I remember days of great joy, coming down from the writing high. I remember profound statements and moments of philosophical rightness.

But here I am. Needing more. Redoing my resume; evaluating what I want to be next.

And the answer is not writer. Or, not only writer. Maybe writing is my hobby.

Interestingly, I always made the most progress on my books when I was employed full-time outside the home.

"No regrets" is one of my tools. I know that I could only have come here through the choices I made. I am grateful for the practice.

I am more grateful for the time I was able to give to myself - to the recovery of all the events that have transformed my life these last 7 years.

I am grateful for the ability to move ahead.

The future is going to be interesting. I'm looking forward to it, and to finding out what my new dreams are.

I hope you're having a great, and satisfying, day.

-Lila

Spring! (Aka - Happy Imbolc!)

Whoo hoo! We did it! We made it to the beginning of spring.

And yeah, if you're like me, here in Colorado, it does not LOOK like spring.
But it has been smelling like it - that wet earthy tang of life coming back.
And even as I type this, the sun is brighter than it was a few minutes ago. (I do love my Colorado!)

Let the Growth begin!

I hope you have a great Imbolc,

-Lila