Perceptions & Realities: Did I do that?

Many years ago, I realized I had a yen for male voices - singing voices in particular, but the deeper a voice the more I liked it, speaking or singing.  I chalked it up to attending an all female high school.

I remember singing at a Christmas mass.  A cold caught me, and I was unable to reach the soprano notes I usually reached.  In fact, for that mass, I sang the bass line.  It was fun.  I liked it.

Though I love the power behind a well-executed high note which rings out across the audience, high shrill voices really hurt my ears.

And yes, the huskier the female lead the more I like the singer.  Yes, I love Cher's voice.  The depth of many blues singers hold me in thrall (and I don't really dig the blues, I just like the voices.) 

Which doesn't mean I don't worship at the altars of Celine Dion, Bernadette Peters and Aine Minogue; I just would rather sing Trisha Yearwood, Bette Midler and Pink.  And perhaps Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond and Train.  And seriously, in musical theater, who has the best songs?  the Phantom.  The Robber Bridegroom.  Pippin.  Joseph & the Narrator.  Rusty.  

The point of this is the following.  I went to see a laryngologist today.  A vocal ENT specialist.  I went because I have some interesting, um, qualities?  Abilities?  In my upper range.

Originally, I thought my limitations were due to a lack of singing.  And there's probably still some of that in there…  before this year I haven't formally sung for over 20 years.  (I guess singing in my living room so my neighbors could hear doesn't count.)  So yes, the muscles need to get into the swing again.  And, as you'll notice from my blogs about singing and life, there are still some breathing issues I'd like to relax away.

 

But it turns out there is another issue that learning how to breathe properly will never fix.

One of my vocal chords is shorter than the other.

I know.  Can you believe it?  What does that even mean?

It means, there are only so many notes I can reach above middle C.  Middle C!  I used to sing the G above high C!  I've lost a whole octave, because right now, the G above Middle C is the top of my comfort range.

I can sing pretty low, though.  Not quite as low as the red-head in Pitch Perfect after her operation, but pretty low.

And singing low is easy.  Perhaps too easy.  Perhaps I think I have to "work" at my singing to be a good singer, no matter the quality of my voice or my diction.

The doctor said it was some sort of nerve damage caused by a virus.  So who knows when or how.  But it makes me wonder.

Did I do that?  Mind over matter.   My appreciation of a lower voice.  My enjoyment of singing low.  Did I manifest an alto  range?  I mean, they often get more fun parts.  And they don't have to shriek.  And it's easier to breathe on the low notes.

Or, do I like all those things, am attracted to the lower notes,  vibrate (if you will) with the Altos (and/or tenors) because I have always had, or knew I was going to have, a shorter vocal chord?  And it's only now that it has become an evident issue?

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Storytelling

I learned something interesting today. The "burden" of telling a story extends to my singing.

One of the truths I've been practicing has been to stop the drama!  Decisions are decisions. Choices are choices. And life moves on. Events are either more or less personal as I want them to be.  I give them importance, or not, as I desire and thus, they affect me with as much impact (or as little) as I desire.

It turns out my singing is the same.

It has been years since I've had formal voice training.  I took lessons for a while after Up With People, but for a variety of reasons, some of which I am willing to admit to, I quit singing.  I lost the training and conditioning  Eventually I lost all the mental information. Belt vs classical vs legit. Alto mezzo, soprano.  Tremolo, glissade, treble, staff, coda, repeat. Rest.

And yes, my breathing is all out of whack.

I currently work on three different types of breathing. 

There's deep breathing for meditation & calming purposes. A proper deep breath fills the lungs all the way to the stomach.

There's inhaling, supporting so one can blast the sound out into the back of beyond. And sustaining, of course, for that final awe - inspiring note.

And then there's the holding in your stomach and still keep yourself conscious, breathing.

I have no idea how to maintain all 3 types of breathing.

Heck. I have a difficult time remembering to breathe at all!  I find myself holding my breath, for reasons unknown, as if it were a limited commodity.  Then I expel it forcefully in a whisper.  This does not work at all well for singing.

I try to take it great gulps of air, but then I have no support or control with the actual notes. I move the muscles in a remembered fashion, but there's no result, like I'm still in neutral when I think I'm in fourth gear. (Or drive for you automatic auto peoples.)

So my practice this week will consist of allowing my breath to come thru. The higher the note, the breathier. 

And subsequently…  concurrently?...  also…  Relax while singing. I'm just talking on a specific note.

Let go of that illusionary concept, control.  And quit making it so complicated!

Like the rest of life these days, perhaps, striving for the drama of the singing instead of letting it just. be. singing.

Which is similar to the writing process for me.  When I strain for the story, the idea or the thread of thought, I seem to expend more effort than my production is worth. But when I relax & just write --  dare I Say -- the truth of the moment,  I have much more success.  Though I'll admit to having no idea how this is going to work. There's going to be a lot of practice required.

 At least I have the awareness, though, that my preaching has far outstripped my practice. Time to review a few of my truths. In speaking, in singing, in writing, in life, there's no need to make it complicated.  Accept it for what it is. Let it BE.  Enjoy it. And the breath will come.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila