If you're like me, you have a sister.

If you're like me, when people post sappy stuff about sisters, and how they're best friends forever, you just kind of roll your eyes and scroll on.  Cuz you know that the word "Frienemies" was made for sisters.  Possibly even the word "nemesis".

If you're like me, you realize there's no other woman who was there - who knows what you mean when you relate back to childhood training and experiences that have shaped your current existence. 

If you're like me, you can hurt each other like no one else, simply because these shared experiences lead you to expect shared language.  But your sister has her own points of view, and perceptions, and experiences, and dreams that are totally different from yours.  And if you're like me, you have no idea how 2 people raised in the same household could be so…  not even opposite…  unaligned. 

If you're like me,  you are connected so deeply to your sister, you feel safe enough to ignore her for months on end, 'cause you each have to work through current experiences your own way.  And yeah, you're grateful when you need to reach out, 'cause you know she'll reach back, eventually.

And that it's reciprocal.

'Cause if you're like me, you love your sister deeper than the mountains and higher than your desired level of income.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Perceptions & Realities: Did I do that?

Many years ago, I realized I had a yen for male voices - singing voices in particular, but the deeper a voice the more I liked it, speaking or singing.  I chalked it up to attending an all female high school.

I remember singing at a Christmas mass.  A cold caught me, and I was unable to reach the soprano notes I usually reached.  In fact, for that mass, I sang the bass line.  It was fun.  I liked it.

Though I love the power behind a well-executed high note which rings out across the audience, high shrill voices really hurt my ears.

And yes, the huskier the female lead the more I like the singer.  Yes, I love Cher's voice.  The depth of many blues singers hold me in thrall (and I don't really dig the blues, I just like the voices.) 

Which doesn't mean I don't worship at the altars of Celine Dion, Bernadette Peters and Aine Minogue; I just would rather sing Trisha Yearwood, Bette Midler and Pink.  And perhaps Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond and Train.  And seriously, in musical theater, who has the best songs?  the Phantom.  The Robber Bridegroom.  Pippin.  Joseph & the Narrator.  Rusty.  

The point of this is the following.  I went to see a laryngologist today.  A vocal ENT specialist.  I went because I have some interesting, um, qualities?  Abilities?  In my upper range.

Originally, I thought my limitations were due to a lack of singing.  And there's probably still some of that in there…  before this year I haven't formally sung for over 20 years.  (I guess singing in my living room so my neighbors could hear doesn't count.)  So yes, the muscles need to get into the swing again.  And, as you'll notice from my blogs about singing and life, there are still some breathing issues I'd like to relax away.

 

But it turns out there is another issue that learning how to breathe properly will never fix.

One of my vocal chords is shorter than the other.

I know.  Can you believe it?  What does that even mean?

It means, there are only so many notes I can reach above middle C.  Middle C!  I used to sing the G above high C!  I've lost a whole octave, because right now, the G above Middle C is the top of my comfort range.

I can sing pretty low, though.  Not quite as low as the red-head in Pitch Perfect after her operation, but pretty low.

And singing low is easy.  Perhaps too easy.  Perhaps I think I have to "work" at my singing to be a good singer, no matter the quality of my voice or my diction.

The doctor said it was some sort of nerve damage caused by a virus.  So who knows when or how.  But it makes me wonder.

Did I do that?  Mind over matter.   My appreciation of a lower voice.  My enjoyment of singing low.  Did I manifest an alto  range?  I mean, they often get more fun parts.  And they don't have to shriek.  And it's easier to breathe on the low notes.

Or, do I like all those things, am attracted to the lower notes,  vibrate (if you will) with the Altos (and/or tenors) because I have always had, or knew I was going to have, a shorter vocal chord?  And it's only now that it has become an evident issue?

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Perceptions & Realities: Parking Hell-O

November 5, 2012



Dear Person at whom I honked, in the King Sooper’s parking lot, today:

I admit it is entirely possible you knew I was there, and there was never a chance of you backing into me; perhaps you were merely inching out of the parking space so I, or the person behind me, would know it was going to be free. But my attention was on the vehicle further up, who was also backing out, and I saw your taillights coming my way.

My horn is rarely used and so I smacked it hard, to make sure you heard me and knew I was there.

My intention was to prevent an accident, to make a warning. And I couldn’t go past you because of the other vehicle leaving further ahead, who’d also stopped when I honked.

So if you knew I was there, I apologize most humbly for the insult of the loud and cursing horn. But I would do it again, because it’s also possible you couldn’t see I was there.

Thank you,

Lila