LIR 122816-Taiwaz & NaihwazR

Sometimes when we have to make choices, we feel like there is a dark and a light, a price to be paid, a sacrifice.

But the truth isn't that simple. The if/then statement :if I choose this now, I won't have it later, is a truth - but it does not include all the other truths of what you will have later.

Being aware of the fears of lack, of not having what we think we need in a crucial moment, can help us make choices now with a free heart.

Looking at the big picture, taking out the fear and bringing in trust in self based on past experience, what will bring you happiness - in this moment, and in the future?

What is possible?!

I hope you have a great week!
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Wish (for 2017)

video & blog are pretty much the same thing

Hello my friends. And happy birth of a new year.

What an interesting year 2016 has been, full of torrential transition and emotional extremes. If you're like me, you're looking back and saying (possibly with sarcasm) "That was awesome!"

More importantly, you're looking forward and saying, with sincerity and desire, "How can 2017 be better?"

The answer is - In every possible way.

I believe 2017 is going to be better. Happier. More connected. More equal. More true. More desires realized and more realities expanded.

And it is thanks to you that I have such a bright future ahead of me. Each and every one of you has been a part of my journey, and I would not be here without you to walk with, sing with, strive with or against. You have helped me realize my happiness, and I am grateful.

So my gift to you, should you choose to receive it, is a wish, a prayer, a spell. A hope. A dream. An energetic outpouring - of abundance, prosperity, riches.

Some of you may receive cards, but frankly I have a habit of writing things and never sending them, so we're going to do it differently this year.

If you're like me, you occasionally find coins or other forms of currency abundance in random places - the parking lot, a river bank, in the closet, in the car.

This year, at least one of those finds is from me.

This year, I am taking (have taken) my lucky cat bank, full coins and paper, and I am scattering the treasure that is inside. Into water. Into the air. Into the earth. Even into fire.

I am sending out into the universe a symbolic gift of abundance. A prayer, wish, desire, spell, intent that with every effort, every energy output, every interaction you put into the universe...
...you receive back all you need, all you want, all YOU desire.

And so my dears, after you find this gift, clutch it in your hand and receive the abundant possibilities. 

And then, spend it! As societally minor as the denomination is, use it when you buy that book, those shoes, the groceries. Deposit it for the bills, the rent, the vacation getaway. Let it represent all the awesomeness coming your way to make your life easier, happier, healthier, more comfortable. Let it be for YOU.

We expend our energy to make the world a better place, for each other and for our loved ones. So please allow your world to be a better place for you.

May abundance flow; be a grace that you enjoy.

May your riches feed you; and may you employ

Prosperity to keep you

Hale, hearty, whole.

And may your happiness be anchored in your soul.

I hope, I expect you to have a great year!

-Lila

A moment of calm

Hello to you!

I am sitting in Spirit Wise, hosting a meditation, to bring a moment of calm to this hectic time of year.

Yes, it's about love and giving and other people, but it also seems to be about the tensions and the dead lines and the self doubts and the insecurities. And we run around TRYING so very hard to be, or do, or find that perfect thing that will bring joy to, well, everyone.

So take a moment a me, take a breath in the middle of this tension. And allow yourself to think of yourself,

Breathe out, blowing away all the frustration and expectations and concerns.

Breathe in, following the breath in and down.

Breathe out - expelling the doubts and to do lists and nagging voices.

Breathe in - feel the breath reach your diaphragm, feel the muscles expand and relax.

Breathe out - pushing away all the things that are resistant to your relaxation. Pushing away the tension.

Breathe in - feel the blood tingle down to your toes.

And as you continue to breathe in and breathe out, allow yourself to relax.

Now, someone or something may pop into your mind - do do do, nag nag nag.

Continue breathing, out and in, expanding and relaxing.

Allow that nagging thought, that frustration to sit in the center of your mind's eye. Allow it to be there.

Breathe in all the way down to your pelvic floor.

And breathe out - blowing gently, sending love, patience, acceptance to the tension creating thought.

Breathe in your peace.

Breathe out peace for them, for it.

Breathe in and breathe out until it dissolves, gently, into sparkling atoms.

And feel the tension slide away.

Feel the release of tension flowing down from the crown of the head, down over your face and the down over the back of your head, feel the tension flow away from the neck, away from the shoulders.

Breathe out and blow it all away. Gently.

Breathe in and feel yourself expand.

Allow yourself to be centered, calm, totally you. Better able to move through this joyous season in a fashion that's most aligned with your self, your needs, your truths.

Breathe In. And feel the joy, the peace, the calm, the connection.

And breathe that joy and peace and calm and connection out - doubling, tripling the peace in the world.

Thank you for taking this moment of calm with me.

I hope you have a most joyous celebration.

-Lila

LIR122116-Dagaz & RaidoR

Yippee! The year is turning. I can see my next choice on the horizon. I am ready! I am able! I am...

...Not moving forward

Why are I not moving forward?!

Well, cuz, frankly, it's not the best time.

Most people are in the throes of Holiday fever: vacation; weather; travel; family obligations; getting work done quickly so they can do important things.

There's may not be enough room in the brain for new ventures.

But Dagaz assures us the doorway is on the horizon.

As difficult as it may feel, give yourself the gift of patience, perhaps a little daydreaming to feel how you REALLY want the future to feel.  And know, like all good things, time does pass.

Yup, no forward movement... YET.

I hope you have an excellent week, and a beautiful holiday!
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Today's Happiness Practice - Staying Home

Yup - I originally had TWO workshops scheduled for today.

Yup, I have cancelled them.

Yup, it's very cold outside right now.

Yup, I know it's colder in other places and some people are actually planning to play football OUTSIDE today.
Some people are planning to SIT OUTSIDE and watch other people play.

That's them. Their choices.

My choice is to stay alive and breathing comfortably and be warm and get some Year Conquering done.

Today I am doing what's right for me, and staying inside.

What is your practice today?

-L

LIR 120716 - DagazR

Dagaz is about stepping through the doorway to the next level - which requires putting down the baggage of the past.

Therefore DagazR would be about needing to examine a specific event and accept it for it was, and (most importantly) for how you felt about it.

This is not judgment of the event, the place, the people involved. This is not condoning or condemning. This is acceptance. X happened. Y was involved. I felt Z.

This is how we build the paths, the foundations of our realities. By being truthful with ourselves, by accepting - even if it doesn't make sense or you don't know why.

Once we accept our truths, about whatever the situation, there is a peace, a breathing space. There is an open door.

So if you feel stuck this week, please consider sitting down with yourself, perhaps over warm tea or a cold beer, and discuss what you REALLY feel.

I hope you have an excellent week!
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LIR 113016 - No Rune

The rune for this week is No Rune... The helpful, unhelpful advice that tells us we know what we're doing; we just need to keep practicing.

And if you're like me, you grudgingly understand. This past week might have been a little easier if I'd remembered to breathe more often, or taken a little more time to listen to my truth.

But that is why it's called practice.

And that's what we get to focus on this week. For every situation, frustration, celebration, call to arms, and desire to rest...

Is it your feeling you are acting on? Are you breathing, connected, calm and focused on your truth? Are you caring for yourself? Are you releasing judgment? Are you allowing abundance and joy and expansion?

Do you believe in yourself?

May we each, every day, be able to say "I am!" And "I do!"

I hope you have an amazing and beautiful week!

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Today's Happiness Practice - Alternatives

Today I am going to contemplate finding alternatives.

If you're like me, you have a long list (either in your head or in various notebooks, physical and electronic) of things you really want to get done.

You also have a knowledge that time is limited.

You also have developed a routine that desires & requires specific activities during specific parts of your day. IE - wake up. Ease into the day with reading. Get the brain going with video games. Stretch.

And if you're like me, you're still trying to balance all you want to have done with all you enjoy doing. Because yes, I love playing my video games, but it does NO'T bring me happiness to look up and realize it's been an hour and I still haven't DONE anything.

Today I realized I have legitimate alternatives. 

Instead of playing video games in the morning, I could do the financial stuff. It has the same affect - getting the brain moving, stretching it slowly, playing with my computer. And doing the household admin stuff does require standing and bending and filing.

And instead of reading in the morning, I can write. Or I can read the stuff I have written. I would really like to get the latest book published... it is ready I think, except for the cover. And reading my work inspires other writing.

And I think perhaps if I do these things, if I do "work" in the morning, instead of recreational activities, it'll spark the desire to do more work. And I'll get moving more easily, flowing into the next productive thing because I already feel righteous about accomplishing something.

So, today I am going to seriously think about my alternatives. Perhaps do some replay. And set stuff up so tomorrow, I can change my morning routine into something that feels worth getting out of bed for.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

LIR 111616-Wunjo

This week the rune is about clan, family.

Who is your clan? To whom do you run when you need support? With whom do you celebrate? Who is first in your mind when the word "holidays" pops up?

Do you need more of them, right now? Do you need less? And are they really your people?

Without judgment, do you feel the support and celebration you desire when you're with them? And do you feel the urge to support and celebrate them in turn?

This is not about weeding out those who don't fit. Friends are friends are friends.

It is about knowing who your heart family is... Who you're willing to be yourself with. And what kind of time and energy you wish to exchange with them in the next little while.

I hope you have a great week!
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LIR 110916 - NaihwazR

So the journey is not over.

If you feel stalled in a particular situation, it could be because you  still need some tools or skills, especially in material or emotional areas.

So what else can you get from the situation? What do you wish you had? What would make the next journey easier, more significant, happier?

Reaching the goal isn't there only relevant part of a journey. Changes, growth, a deeper  knowledge of self and world - those are the important by-products.

I hope you have a great week!
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What has changed?

So we woke up this morning with a new president in America, and everything has changed.

Oh. Wait. No it hasn't.

First of all, the new president won't even take office until January, 2017. We still have the Holiday season to celebrate/survive before that official change takes place.

And second - well, let's see.

I still had to talk myself into getting out of bed this morning.
I still have to eat and drink and stretch and dress.
I still have to drive into work.
I still have to communicate with clients and coworkers and friends and family (Or not, as we choose.)
I still have to use the bathroom and put gas in the car and sit down and stand up and turn around. And NOT play dead.
I still have to choose, every minute, which direction to take, which response to make, which truth to embody.
I still have to trust in myself and in the Glorious Omnipotent Divine.
I still have to be.

So what has changed this morning?

Nothing.

I am the center of my Universe, and my universe is still rolling right along.

So I will too.

I hope you have a warm and Universally Divine day!
-Lila

LIR 110816 - BerkanoR

Berkano is the rune of Mother; of comfort, nurturing, growth within compassionate arms.

The question was, what do we need to know?
So today, BerkanoR could mean two things.

One - does the moment, does the truth require a little less compassion and comprehension, and a little more kick it into gear?

Two - does the moment, does the truth require a little more patience and nurturing, and a little less strong arm?

As we move through today, let us each be aware of our individual truths, and that it is different for each of us.

What level of compassion and nurturing will serve you  best today?

I hope you have a great day!
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Historical Me.

If you're like me, you are sitting somewhere right now contemplating tomorrow. Literally. A specific tomorrow.

Today is November 7th, 2016. People have been voting, will be voting, are refraining from voting - and many of us, I think, are really wondering what's going to happen.

I personally have voted early, and I was writing a blog which is probably going to become a series of blogs, and I realized...

Wow... Tomorrow may be a day in history.

No matter what the outcome, will this election cycle, this decade, this section of time be a focus of future study? Yeah, probably.

Aren't we lucky?

Often people say, in movies and books - "how do you want to be remembered?" "How do you want history to write about you?"

But the thing is, history is just what happened two minutes ago. Remembered or not. And history - which has the word "story" in it - is always going to be someone's perception...
 someone's opinion of their perception...
someone's opinion of their perception of their memory of what is going on right this minute.

So what else can we do but be ourselves? To the best of our ability.

Every single day.

Whether it feels like it's going to be an historic day or not.

So to everyone who is living, doing their thing, dancing and playing and singing...
To everyone who has voted or not as their truth leads them and then GONE ON to the rest of their day...
To everyone who is alive at this time - thank you for being you! Keep doing that. Let historians write about that! "On this amazing day, as the world changed around then, millions of people - lived."

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 110216 - Ingwaz

So, if you're like me, it's been a year of ideas, possibilities, should I shouldn't I, and what about this?

This week, some of those seeds of possibility, creativity, could do with attention. They may sprout - making the project, the dream a reality. Or it may be time to do someire planning, some watering and fertilizing, for future sprouting.

What dreams & possibilities do you still wish to see come to fruition?

I hope you have a great day!
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Today's Happiness Practice - back to 15 minutes

Today I am going to get things done, 15 minutes at a time.

I feel like I have been either going or stopping; either head down or staring blankly at my "to do" list. And they're all things I WANT to do, things to accomplish in order to be the me I want to be, to open the possibilities.

But I am once more caught up in the whirlwind of a thousand choices and only so much daylight. Which is actually literal, because it feels like I have to work twice as hard to be connected when the sun goes down.

And I think it has been many many days since I have had downtime to myself. All to myself. (driving does not count - one has to be aware of other people when driving. I really want to think only of myself.)

So today, I am going to go back to the system of 15 minutes. Just do something on my list for 15 minutes. Then I can rest and read and stare at the wall.

I am going to practice balancing, being both sides of myself. 15 minutes at a time.

I hope you have a great and totally YOU day!
-Lila

LIR 102616 - Laguz

Looks like it's time to be startin' somethin'!

Laguz is the rune of beginnings, the rune of that rush that happens when the ball starts rolling; the birthing rush after the water breaks and there's no stopping the momentum.
OK, sounds a little scary, but we're ready for this. We know our tools, we know our truths, and besides, we're the ones putting things in motion!
What is it that's ready to go? What projects, ideas, desires have just been waiting for the right time? Could this be the time?
Keep breathing and out your best foot forward. Ready? Set? Go!

I hope you have a great week.
-Lila

LIR 101916 - Unknown

The Blank, or Unknown, rune means that there is more information needed; more decisions to be made.

Maybe a project, or decision, or manifestation is stalled, feels mired. It's possible, more info is needed. There are still some questions that need answers.

Or maybe the outcome is waiting on someone else's choices.

So, if it feels like you can gather more info, go for it. Ask the questions.

And if it feels like you're just waiting, like you've done all you can, perhaps it needs action from outside of you. All there is to do is wait. It is frustrating, but you can only do what YOU can do.

The Unknown rune. "The future is cloudy. Please try again later."

I hope you have a great week!
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LIR 101216 - TaiwazR

Taiwaz is the rune of expediency, of making decisions in an unemotional, for the good of the whole fashion.

It follows, then, that TaiwazR is about taking a different approach to decision making.

If there is a thought or decision that brings the headache and the frustration and the "I don't know what to do!" perhaps it's time to decide smaller.

What is the right, truthful, happy choice for today?
What is the best feel for right now?
What is the short term beneficial option?

Because maybe the long term is still waiting for today's choice. Maybe choosing for happiness today is the best way to ALSO have happiness next year.

However we choose, I hope you have a great day!
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Today's Happiness Practice - BEING happy.

Today I am going to be happy.

Today I attended a class on energy work and had the interesting experience of having my very being ridiculed and demeaned.

Now, it was not me personally who was the target. But the class presenters have their own unique perceptions about metaphysical practices and about happiness.

Yup. I paid money to be told my work is useless.

And as Icona Pop says, "I don't care. I love it."

I am not Happy because someone else thinks it's a good idea. I am not a Happiness Practitioner because it's universally accepted or because I want to make good use of a college degree. I do not use the New Age, Metaphysical Wiccan practices because they're popular.

I do it all because it's right for me. It IS me. All of it. Nature and crystals and grounding and advising in protection and manifesting and knowing that happiness is my choice and my right.

And I fully believe that others want to be happy. I believe everyone wants to be happy. We may have trouble believing it's an acceptable way of life. After all, the American Dream doesn't say "A white picket fence and 2.5 kids, happily." Or even "2.5 happy kids". And as one of the presenters pointed out, saying we want to be happy when we grow up evokes the response: "No, what do you want to be?"

But I believe in Happiness, that it is a force like Love, and that everyone can be it.

And so today, I reaffirmed my happiness. I made the class all about me, for me, taking only the information I resonated with, and letting everyone else have their own opinions.

Because everyone does get to have their own opinions. I accept that.

I accept that everyone has their own perceptions.

I accept everyone.

Accepting people doesn't mean I believe what they believe. It certainly doesn't mean I care about their opinions. It just means I accept them.

Cuz what I think, feel, believe, and do is all about me. It's what is right for me. Happiness IS each person believing what is right for them. (At least, for me it is.)

So today I am practicing being Happy. By accepting others, and cheering their choice. Because their belief is their Happiness, even if they don't believe in it.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Breaking up with Texas

Who am I? How do I know if I'm really being the best me I can be?

And where do I feel most real?

Every time I come to Texas I expect a connection, a homecoming. And everytime I feel, well, the opposite. Grumbly and discontent and dizzy with all the height - which is really strange considering I'm from CO!

So I wander restlessly, trying to connect by exploring, trying to exercise enough to relax into my happier self. I sing in hallways and peer over railings. I try doors.

And then I come outside. And feel, well, first I feel warmer because the air conditioning inside makes me hope I packed enough winter clothes
- but I also feel ME again. Which is too bad cuz even if they'd let me sleep on this bench, I need to take a shower SOMETIME.

But I also still feel like an alien. And maybe it's the clammy air, or the faint (imagined?)  scent of salt in the air. And maybe it's just the low level pressure. But I know this is not home.

I love hearing the Texas drawl. And I'm proud to be a Texas Rose by birth. And I always link Texas to my Mom - so maybe I'm trying to create a connection that was never there.

I am grateful for Texas. But Colorado and I are soulmates. So I'm going to have to end this.

Be well, Texas. It's not you, it's me. We'll always be friends, right?

I hope y'all have a great night.
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - Simple Acceptance

Today I am going to accept things as I see them.

Not as I assume them. Not as I feel and react to them.

As I see them.

As they are in simple, basic fashion.

Today's specific example is a bill.

Actually, it's not a even a bill. It says so right on the piece of paper. THIS IS NOT A BILL.

It is a piece of paper showing a statement of owed money to a company I have not heard of for "medical equipment".

Now, first reaction, "Oh my (expletive deity). What a lot of money I owe for my CPAP machine. This is outrageous. This cannot be right. I hate my body."

But... the paper does not say that. It doesn't even say CPAP machine.

It certainly does not say that my body is expensive and annoying and Oh! heaps of coal upon my head for being unworthy of living without help (and all that crap that being hooked to machines triggers in me.) That feeling, which is not a reality but a reaction, is a whole different vortex of energy clearing statements.

I have a piece of paper. It has a lot of words, but very little information that actually means anything to me.

Once I accept that it is a piece of paper, about which I know very little, I know what I can do to change it. Get more information.

Pretty simple.

And I can do this without projection, without assumption of debt, without drama or blame or illness.

Just a phone call.

Or an email.

Or website research.

Or I can even wait to see if a bill does come in. And from whom. And what it says it's for.

I have choices.

And that's all I have. A piece of paper. And choices.

Simple. I can accept that.

And that is all there is to accept.

A piece of paper. The need for more information. Choices.

So simple.

Today I am going to practice SIMPLE acceptance. Drama free. Assumption free. Uncluttered. A pretty decent practice for the New Moon - to release all the extra stuff with which I like to complicate things to feel important and involved and besieged.

I accept simple.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 92816 - UrazR

Uraz is about roots, foundations, and connecting to a healing presence.

So this week, before you decide to work here, or move there, or believe in that, or commit to this, ask yourself -

Will this choice, this situation, feed me, hold me, give to me as much as it's going to take? Do I anticipate growth and nurturing, or depletion and frustration?

In all this change that's happening, in all the shifting of the ground beneath us, in all the chaotic realities, we are getting in new choices every day.

And we get to choose what makes us feel strong.

Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of happiness.

Choose for you.

I hope you have a great week!
-Lila

The cocoon opens again - and the babble ensues

Hello to you!

Looks like the cycle of writing fell away again - I do tend to wax and wane in my... hmm, what's a good word?

Actually, the word I've been using lately is Introversion. My introvert side has been claiming it's time out of the public's eye. I've been doing a lot of workshop building and reading and self-care which, interestingly enough, includes the admin stuff I love to complain about.

But it has been easier since I realized that the administrative tasks of bill paying and filing and emails are a form of self-care. Like exercising or house cleaning or yearly blood tests.

And the best part, the part that is making it much easier, is I realized I was making it very complex. In this, as in many other things, I had created an intricate game of tasks to accomplish in order to feel productive and, well, accomplished. "I am an accountant!" I declare happily as I take 5 minutes to figure out the exact perfect account in which to post my 5$ cash spending. And I fret over how long to keep receipts. And I do have imaginary conversations with the IRS about why I classified this clothing purchase as a uniform - because he might wear those pants out in public once in a while.

AAaaaaaagh! Yes, it is a fun game. And yes I love numbers. But there are amazing systems in place now to simplify the bookkeeping tasks. And simple is the name of the new game I am playing.

"Simple and Significant." Yes, you see it everywhere - I first heard it from my mom. She was talking about my writing, but it is relevant in all parts of life, including bookkeeping. I don't need 14 different categories for my groceries, and I don't need to spend half an hour invoicing the business account in order to split the telephone bill.

So I found a better way to get the bookkeeping done. A simpler way. A way that works for me and is relevant to the way I operate, the way I look at things, the true way I live - not actions based on an ideal of someone I admire. So I'm not going to inventory all of my possessions with the goal of valuating them every year. I just don't do that.

And I'm not going to use the Getting Things Done form of time management - because all that's done is create bigger piles for me. And not gotten anything done. I loved the idea. But it's too involved for my form of action.

I am a do it now person. Do what is in front of me. Even if something can wait for a few days, I need to keep it in front of me, because if I file something to be done later, my brain thinks it's been done. And i forget about it.

By the way -  if you've been waiting for an email, I apologize. It's on my self-care list. I'm still practicing fitting it all together.

Because I love my work. And creating these workshops is an amazing undertaking. And I often find myself retreating back into the cocoon of thought and growth and stripping away unnecessary flourishes in order to be ME. And that often equates to not writing. For myself or to others.

But the cocoon is opening again. As September ends and the clearing cycle changes to production again (last harvest, get to work!) I am looking forward to connecting with peoples again.

Because keeping it simple clears the clutter, the intricate flourishes, and allows space for happiness. Truthful, connected, expansive reality.

I'm not going to edit this, so please forgive the typos. I have to get ready for Spirit Wise work - and tonite's  class.  Will I see you there?


I hope you have a great day!
=Lila

LIR 092116 - Kunos way off the mat

Okay, bear with me, people, cuz we may be digging deep, today.

And I do mean that meta-literally.

The rune for the week is Kunos - which is the torch, the possibilities, doors opening. We get to decide where we point the light, what we want to create, which doors we open and which we walk through.

The rune fell very far off the mat... Over the edge of the table and into the chair, far. This means hopes and fears, things hidden in the subconscious. Deep, Deep thoughts.

And there are so many unique beyonds, and so many possibilities, that this reading could be different for each of us.

Do I/you/we need to dig a little deeper for the truth, the choice, the connection that will bring light to the preferred path?

Shall I look inward when things outward get too frustrating and confusing and, well, stupid?

When you're at the end of the strength and patience, is in and down where to look for the helping hand?

Are we holding, deep in our hearts, joyous and amazing, all the love, all the answers, All the connections, all the possibilities we could ever desire to manifest?

Maybe it's all of the above. I should know there possibilities are endless, and my reality is all about what I believe.

What do you believe?

I hope you have a great week!
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"We don't say "Blah, blah, blah!""

It has been a long while (for me) since I have written. Not even since I've posted, but since I've WRITTEN. Anything. Journal or blog or even tweet.

Part of the restriction, resistance, block, hurdle seems to be that there is so much going on in my head again! What is today's happiness practice? How do I get the word out about my workshops in a way I resonate with? I haven't done a newsletter in ages, but the newsletter isn't technically a consensual form of communication anymore. Food, glorious food. Is reading a form of distraction? Like eating? How do I set up a consensual email list? I need a brochure of all my classes. I want to bring more money in.And if you're like me, you want to fulfill my writing goals this month. I have workshops to give and workshops to take. Getting things done doesn't do it for me. I want more people in my workshops. Who does all this frantic anxiety belong to? I am expansive. I am happy. Feeling instead of force. Deeper than the tears, you will find me.Why do cats like string? Where's Perry? It's almost October.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

But it's not blah. It's not even babble. It's the hundreds of ideas and desires raising their hands and wanting to be realized NOW! So much that could be done.

At least I know that. It's not that there's "So much to do." No shoulds. No limitations on the future.

It's that there's so much that can be done. So many possibilities. So much expansion and connection.

I'm already there. I can feel the abundance and joy and ease and grace and happiness! Every day, when I breathe, I can feel that connection.

But sometimes that expansion, that abundance just seems to fuel the Greek chorus in my head. (some people have monkeys, some have lizards, my mind is dressed in togas and lounging around a white marble fountain, eating grapes. Could be why I burst into song; though I never have learned the songs from "A funny thing happened on the way to the  Forum." Are there songs? I think there are songs. Look it up. Blah, blah. blah!)

There are answers. There are tools. There are mantras.

Breathe.
Accept.
Release the resistance.
Simple but significant.
Use what I have.
One step at a time.
Self care.
Who does that belong to?
15 minutes.
"Nothing to do with me - BIH"
Connect. Expand. Breathe.
Do I really want that?
Mind with matter.

The greek chorus dances, but it still doesn't get anything done. The truth come from the heart. I'm the only one who can do what I want to do. I get to choose. I AM.

Is it time to sleep yet?

I feel... (blah, blah, blah)
I think... (blah, blah, blah)
I am...

I am allowing abundance.
I am looking forward to today.
I am asking "What else is possible?"
I am stopping, everytime I start feeling like running around, and I am breathing, and I am focusing on one thing at a time.
And I am knowing that I will be sleeping tonite, and that's almost here, and there's still so much I can do today.

I am Lila.
I am the center of my universe.
I am the chooser of my reality.
I am part of the Divine.

There is no blah, blah, blah. But the real truths are in my center, not in my head.

I am Lila. And I am happy.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 090716 - IngwazR

As more and more of us are allowing ourselves to speak our truth, it is time to honor each other's words.

Let the words be the truth. No subtext; no coyness. "No" means "no". "Yes" means "yes." "On Thursday" means, "on Thursday."

Let us be clear, and expect clarity in return. The time for polite falsehoods is past. Let us practice polite truths.

I hope you have a great day! (Not better than mine, of course, but just as awesome!  😆)

£

Today's Happiness Practice - Releasing Resistance next level

Today I am going to practice releasing resistance.

Yes, I have been practicing it. I led a workshop. It was helpful. Yay!

But humans are like ogres, and there are layers. And when one exfoliates off that first layer of skin, one finds another whole tougher layer underneath.

Resistance may not be the word for what I'm doing, but the results are the same. Tensing. Avoiding. Deflecting. Distracting. Triggering physical dis-ease which leads to grumpy unhappiness.

Therefore the best first step is also the same.

Breathe.
Say the word. "Breathe."
Inhale and exhale.
Expand the space within me and around me.
Slowly and gently and easily.
Breathe.
Follow the breath down past the heart. The center of truth.
Follow the breath down into the diaphragm. Into the solar plexus - which is the center of action.
Bring the strain and the striving from the forehead down into the center.
Let go of the tension in the legs and bring it up into the center.

Will and intent come from the center - the rest is just processing and production.

Breathe.
Relax.
Transfer the tension into action and intent.
What is the situation?
What are my choices?
Breathe. Gently. Easily.
Who does the resistance, the triggers, the fear belong to?
Not me.
I know what I need to know.
I know how to make a choice from my truth, from my center, for my health and happiness.
Breathe.
Transfer.
See the situation.
Accept it as it is; list the choices.

Breathe.
Then choose.

Today I am going to practice releasing resistance - transforming it into beneficial action.

I hope you have as easy a day as I expect to!
-Lila

LIR 083016 - Gebo & OthilaR

It's not about fairness, in nature. It's about balance.

Energy is constantly exchanged, giving and receiving, ebbing and flowing, being and being, through each change and transformation in the cycle of existence.

Energy out leaves room for energy in.

The exchange is not in the gifts or the product, but in the effort. Your best deserves my best.

May each day be your best day!
£

Enlightenment is Awesome, my ass! (and various other body parts)

Actually, this post isn't about my derriere. Of all the body perceptions I have, my butt is not something I ever focused on changing. It was never too short or too big. It never failed to function. It always cushioned me nicely when sitting, and...

... well, I'm trying to find a light-hearted way to comment on the various substances humans process, and how we do so, but it's just too early to talk about it. And too taboo.

But that is the point of this post. Taboos. and Bodies. And what I really think about mine.

I wrote a whole stream of meandering yesterday, which I did not post, describing how difficult it was for me to accept my body. MY body. My favorite part is this...

"I strove to be better at activities. At actually physically being active.
I wanted to be thinner. Prettier. To eat less.
I wanted to dance better. and sing better. And be able to manipulate my body like gymnasts.
I wanted to be light and airy. And slender and willowy. And long and lean.
Perhaps like a unicorn, yes? With a glorious, multicolored mane and such a lightness of being!"

I FEEL myself as 5'6", lean and graceful, every hair exactly where I placed it, pressed and polished.

And yet, in the mirror, I see myself as frumpy and short and round, and I rarely iron, and I'm messy, and I need a five minute break after a two minute dance.

"Frankly, I am at the stage where I would stand up and point dramatically to the witness stand and proclaim, "My body betrayed me!""

Well, I was at that stage yesterday morning. Obviously, being the awesome and amazing Do It Yourself Improvement Advanced Practitioner that I am (can you read that 10 times fast?, ) I instead started using tools suggested by my path partner.

Every morning for at least a week, I am finding 5 things about my body for which I am grateful. (And yes, that took a while, yesterday, because often I would follow it up with, "Yeah, but...")

And I listened to Dain Heer, a practitioner of Access Consciousness - which is, it turns out, a healing modality that's right up the Happiness Alley.

And the tool I focused on, all of yesterday, was the phrase "Who does this belong to?"
Instead of going into the long explanation of it, I shall post the link to his quick (8 mins) video discussing this tool. LINK

So, I spent a good long time yesterday weighing hunger, exhaustion, annoyance, tension, and expectations against the phrase "Who does this belong to?"

I did combine it with my own personal version of releasing resistance (workshop tonite!) and a lovely visual of chucking unneeded stuff out of the mental attic.

By the time I went to bed, I was so light! Like I'd taken a muscle relaxant.

Of course, this morning I was up and at it again. Judge judge judge. What if What if What if. Why can't I? Why won't I? Why aren't I?

Who does that belong to?
Who does THAT belong to?
WHO does that belong to?

There were some I was surprised weren't mine.

The body gratitude was easier.

And then, as I was sitting on the bed, contemplating my vision of being soft spoken and calm and proper (Julie Andrews) versus my actual bawdy and robust self (Bette Midler,) the automatic track of "Who does that belong to?" intersected with the willowy blonde vision.

And the world exploded.

Not me. Not ME. NOT ME!

It has nothing to do with me.

I am one with this body. With my body. 5'4". Amazing and versatile hair. A laugh that can fill a cathedral. Strong fingers for typing. Happy in my clothes, even when there's spaghetti sauce on my breast (and yes, the stain is always on the breast.) I love to dance, even if only for 2 minutes.

And I'll stand on my tiptoes to hug, because I do still feel so tall and expansive.

Yeah, my body, mind, and spirit have more exploring to do as I accept myself and what things my body CAN do. (And we're still discussing how much dark chocolate I REALLY need to consume in a day.) But when I look in the mirror, it won't be with the expectation of seeing something I never was.

Enlightenment is Awesome. I'm happy I am awesome enough to find it!

I hope you're having a great day!
-Lila

LIR 082416 - Raido & Kunos

Movement brings us possibilities. It is your movement that brought you to the choices you have now. Don't like them? Move again.

It doesn't have to be a big move... step to the left. Turn around. Go away and come back.

Movement is growth. Growth is change. Change is new possibilities. 

What else is possible?

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - taking responsibility for my choices

Today I am going to take responsibility for my choices.
Which is such an easy thing when those choices feel good, and lead to doing my work with joy and passion.

But when my choices lead to me sitting on my bed, feeling sick and regretful, it's not so easy.

It's tempting to wallow in the discomfort, to dive deep into the regret, to start singing recriminations and beating my breast and wailing to the world the long stories of how I am so sad and so sorry and what I really wanted. And then there will be a nice little chorus of "If only, if only, if only...

But that's not how I work - using "work" in the fashion of making choices, and using my gifts, and practicing happiness. I don't do "if only". I don't beat myself up or spend time focusing on how I did it WRONG. I don't berate and judge and heap coal upon the head of my yesterday self.

 It doesn't change the choice or the actions. It doesn't change the consequence. And it certainly won't heal me or help me make a different choice next time.

So today I am going to take responsibility for my choices. Yup, I did that. I overindulged. Yes, today my happiness level is low. Yes, today's choices are affected by yesterday's choices.

So, next time I am offered that choice, how will I choose differently?

Each time I start to bemoan how I feel and start singing the "what I did wrong" song, I shall breath, accept that I made those choices, accept that these are the consequences, and Practice making a different choice next time.

Then I'm going to focus on today.

No judgment. No wallowing. Breathe. Accept. Replay with different choice. Move on.

And perhaps some gratitude practice thrown in there. That I know myself and have practiced happiness long enough that I am able to accept, replay, and move on.

Today I am practicing responsibility for my choices, and transforming recriminations to happiness. Because this is now. The future is unlimited. And happiness is my choice.

I hope you're having an excellent day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... I Want

Today I am going to say what I want, today.

I have been using the phrase "I would like..."

I would like to have a home base for my work. A store or an office or some place people can come into.

I would like to travel and give workshops.

I would like to drive a vehicle that feels the way my Tracker felt.

I would like.

I would like.

The thing is, that sounds like future tense. I would like.
I will eventually like.
Or maybe it's suppositional tense - if this happened, then I would like.

But neither of those are the truth of today, of this moment. I don't know what I would like tomorrow, though yeah, I expect it does involve health, abundance, and happiness. I know what I want today. I know what I want to feel today. I know what I want to manifest today. I know what I want to allow today.

I don't want to wait until tomorrow for a home base. I don't want to have a vehicle only if I accomplish specific tasks. I don't want to travel in the distant future.

I WANT IT NOW!

And going with the flow, Universal time, it'll happen when it's right, etc and so forth - all that aside - now is when I want these things.

I know that I get what I ask for. Heck, I'm manifesting situations and opportunities I desperately yearned for 10, 20 years ago. And many of them I no longer want. Or I don't want Right Now.

Who knows if I'll still want a sporty, 4 wheel drive in 10 years? Or even 5? It's possible that next year I would like a personal driver. Or I would like a mini-copter. Or a transport beam.

But today? Today I want what I want today.

So today I am going to practice saying what I WANT today.

I hope you have a great day, today, if that's what you want.

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... asking the questions

Today I am going to practice asking the questions.

Actually, it's not THE questions... that sounds like there are only a few really vital and important questions. Which is judgmental and limiting.

The vital and important part is that questions are asked.
* Do I want to eat this?
* What do I want to wear?
* Do I like that?
* Why is the sky blue?


I admit - there is a lot of fear, concern? trepidation about this practice. Especially regarding food. What if my body says no to bagels and oatmeal and stir fry? What if it only says yes to Broccoli and mushrooms?

What if I don't want to walk or sing or write or admin or whatever the question of the moment is?

What if there is... gasp... dissension?!

Okay, first, what if there is?  Perhaps I've been doing or consuming something that really disagrees with myself? No judgment, remember?

And second, this practice today isn't so much about the answers - though I do hope there is a yes somewhere in the eating, because, you know, FOOD! But by taking a minute and asking the question, I allow myself to act instead of react. I am more aware of my truths. I am more connected to me.

Besides, do I really trust myself that little? I know that purple brings happiness because I love the way I feel whenever I see the color. I know I become giddy when I read Tanya Huff. I know drinking tea is delightful.

And I also know that just because I liked something yesterday, that doesn't mean I want anything to do with it today.

So, today I am going to practice asking questions. Giving myself, and hopefully everyone I interact with, the space to be consensual about everything.

Would you like to have a great day?
-Lila

LIR 61716 - No Rune

Awesome! Once more, the main focus for the week is to be ourselves, as fully and beautifully as we can.

This means we practice breathing, choosing, allowing, accepting, doing, and dealing with our own happiness in mind. We know what works for us, and if we're not sure, then we shall simply try something and see what happens.

We are the center of our universes.

I hope you have a great week!
£

Today's Happiness Practice... (it'll come to me in just a minute)...

Today I am going to Practice - well, goodness. What do I need to practice? I don't know.

This week has shown I have become skilled at focusing, breathing, being in the moment. Allowing others to be as they are. There are still some habits and reactions that I am transforming but those might not even apply today.

In fact, it feels much more beneficial to not try and figure out what tools I might need to employ today.

Instead of anticipating or preparing for moments of learning, instead of prejudging what might be unhappy, instead of EXPECTING to need to practice something, I shall simply, well...

Goodness, what shall I do?

Experience. Breathe. Sing. Type. Talk.

(But, wails a part of me, I don't know how to label that, how to express that in this here blog!)

I suppose it is BEING. Being the best Lila I can be. Being happy.

But it feels both simpler and more complex than that.

Like Love.

Like Acceptance.

Like Connection to the Universe and all the marvelous awesome beings in it.

Like being One with Glorious Omnipotent Divine.

Ah. It's an action verb.

Today, I AM.




I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

How does it get better than this?

I have been a writer for many, many years. I write a pretty consistent blog. I have self-published 3 fiction books, and had 3 book signings. I have read my work aloud; I have given it as gifts. I have enjoyed being a writer.

And all of that paled beside the joyous, even ecstatic, moment I had tonite, as a songwriter.

For tonite, in the middle of an interesting and energetic week, I walked into rehearsal for the Mile Hi Threshold Singers, and they greeted me with my song.

And it was so AWEsome. As in I am still full of Awe.

There have been moments of doubt. All writers have them, I expect. There are pieces I have posted, words I have published that I have since looked back on and thought, "What was I thinking?!"

There have also been pieces I have loved every time I reread them.

But the music.

I hear it a certain way in my head. And I know (well, I'm pretty sure) I have the right notes down on paper. But until the notes are sung by multiple voices (cuz, you know, 3 part harmony) I can't be absolutely sure I have really translated it really correctly.

And through the process of teaching the music, and people getting used to the harmonies and the words and the timing that seemed so clear, so necessary, to me; through the repetition and the introvertedness that makes leading a song a challenging experience; through trying to sing and connect and direct at the same time; I thought... well, there's something just not right with the song. Because I have chills when we sing "May Peace be With You." And I get tears in my eyes when we sing "Equanimity." And I could get lost in "Standing Stone." And I'm just not feeling that...

But today.

Oh today.

I was late to the rehearsal. We all knew I was going to be late because of a family event. So when I walked in the door and was greeted with "Lila!" I just grinned, and turned to shut the door.

And then they sang my song.
 As I wrote it.
 As a welcome.
 As a gift.

And I had chills. And I had tears. I wanted to dive into the middle of the circle and be wrapped in the music.  And I was so full of joy and delight, I probably jumped up and down and clapped my hands.

And I know I'm not really expressing how marvelous, how transcendent, the experience was (I am tearing up just thinking about it.) I probably need another song.

Happiness is being a song writer, because a song, oh a song is a gift that gives right back. Three fold.

So today I am grateful. To me for writing the song. To the choir for giving it back to me in beauty. To you, for witnessing this amazing day.

How does it get better than this? I am so looking forward to finding out!

"Thank you for the song. Thank you for the voices. Thank you for the love which carried me home." (from Welcome to the Song, by...

Lila (Songwriter!)

LIR 081016 -Eihwaz

Eihwaz is the Rune of the hunter - a being who is successful at being active in multiple worlds. She is the bridge, quiet, observant. She is a valued member of all worlds, but her reality is bigger than just one.

We can expand our reality, to include any world we wish. But know that when your horizons widen, your truths change.

I hope you have a great day!
£

Soapbox of Perception - an unCivil war in which All of GOD's fires matter

Okay. Where to start?    (audio version)

Here are the issues rolling around in my brain.
* All Lives Matter
* A Country Divided
* The political monopoly
Let's see if I can express myself in a fashion easy to follow.


"All Lives Matter" - the War of the Words:
      Black lives matter vs All lives matter has been equated to ignoring a burning house: "My house is on fire." "All houses matter."

That comparison makes no sense to me. A more accurate interpretation is someone saying: "My purple house is on fire - my purple house needs attention."

And someone else replying "There are many houses on fire. They all need attention."

Sometimes, I admit it, I wish it was just one set of people with a definitive physical characteristic who was being oppressed, profiled, mistreated, bullied, wrongfully accused, and willfully slain. It would be so much easier, then, to know who to protect, who to guard, and (presumably) who the bad guys were.

But that is not the reality.

It doesn't matter what shade your skin is, what shape your eyes are, what tax bracket or zip code you are slotted in, what your labor is, or what spiritual rules you follow. If you live upon this planet, you have probably been harmed a time or two.

And if you are feeling harmed, it can feel even more harmful to hear "Black lives matter." Because it implies that only people who belong to that specific group are worthy of mattering. Only their suffering is true suffering; only their deaths are true deaths. They are the only ones who deserve to be helped.

But we are not groups. We are not governments and churches and societies and political parties and corporations and races and cultures. We are people. Individual. Unique. Alone.

As a happiness practitioner, I accept that people feel the need to band together for or against something in order to feel like they can survive, but, Ladies and Gentlemen, it has not improved any situation yet. Because here we are.

A "Country Divided"- as in separated into MANY parts:

An FB poster cited Obama as the cause for this division - and I disagree. I expect the African Americans, the American Indians, the LGBT Community, the Muslims, and the Asians all have examples of division in our past. Of course the Women have theirs. And let's not forget the Jews, the Pagans, or the indentured poor.

We have been a species divided since one being perceived difference and decided that difference was bad.

I don't know that America was ever truly whole; our Forefathers and Foremothers (meaning the leaders) were simply united AGAINST something.

And so they manipulated and compromised and created a country where "All men are created equal." And men, in the English language, stands for all human beings. And eventually, a form of democracy was founded in which we had a representative of this country, chosen by a majority vote.

Through the process of that election, some 200 years later,  a Democratic President with dark skin was voted into office. Many who voted differently then chose to deride and insult the chosen head of their chosen country. They chose to behave as if the voices and opinions of over half the citizens didn't matter. In short, they chose to behave as if Democracy was no longer a viable form of government.

And I know that not all Democrats have black or brown skin. (And not all those with black or brown skin are Democrats.) So I don't know if the uncivil choices were about skin color, or political party, or the need for a scapegoat because it feels like we're in a downhill slide and we can't figure out how to stop it.

Maybe it's simply that people perceive our choices to be limited, and they only know how to behave based on what used to be.

It does feel like some people are trying to convince the rest of us that there are only two groups in America. National and Foreigners. Christians and non-Christians. Black and White. Us and Them. Democrats and Republicans. (Aren't there laws against monopolies? Oh, but since there's two, it's not really a monopoly. My bad!)

But, just like there isn't only one specific physical characteristic that is being oppressed, there aren't only two political options. There aren't only two options for anything. There is no Right and Wrong. There isn't even an Us and Them!

There is me and you and him and her and her and him and him and her and her and him and...

And we each have thoughts about what would work and what is right for Us All! But it's not right for us all, it's simply right for us each individually.

For me.

Which is what Democracy is supposed to be, I think. An agreement by all to live by the rules that the majority has chosen.

And no. These rules should not work against Blacks, homosexuals, foreigners, women, the Green party,  non-Christians, or purple houses - whether or not they are on fire.

Neither should the rules favor them.

ALL lives matter.

All voices matter.

Each, individual person matters.

You matter.

I have pale, pinky white skin. I have blue eyes. I am female. I have a variety of medical challenges and a plethora of gifts and talents. I have a celtic american heritage; my current financial status is ambiguous; I identify with thespians and book worms and musicians and writers and spiritual leaders. I have theories about my past lives, but no proof. I have made decisions I am proud of, and ones that have helped me change.

But none of this is whoI AM.

I am Lila.

I am a one of a kind member of a diverse world.

And I matter.

Thank you, and I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

(Yesterday's) Happiness Practice - Feeling the Wealth

Today I am going to practice playing with my wealth.

If you're like me, you're emerging into the possibilities of wealth. You can actually feel yourself living the life to which you'd like to be accustomed. But you're wavering a little on that fence of my reality and "Their" reality. (you know, the reality of "Them". "They". Society. The mob.)

You can almost believe, but when it doesn't work right away, you quickly revert to the "I told you so" of the nay-sayers.

Yesterday, I practiced being expansive in my work and expecting and allowing clients and money. And, if we go by Society's view of productivity, NOTHING HAPPENED.

Oh, except I received the message from the Universe that I need to be open to receiving. What?! But! I'd been open all friggin' day! And I had received absolutely bubcus!

At least, in the way of money.

I did make some great connections though, now that I review my day. And I practiced being open with a variety of people. And I did 5 readings! Hmm. Perspective.

But, sorry, off the track, the point of this point is the money part of it. the Wealth. My wealth.

Happily, I did my practice. I breathed. I recognized I was getting ready to head into a big self-doubt vortex, and I called my path partner, my coaching partner. And she reminded me:
 -  the Universe does allow manifestation, even though it's sense of time is different from mine (not exactly comforting, but yes, true.)
 - I have everything I need right now (Martha Beck).
 - I believe in my reality.  - and that was one I was grateful to remember. My belief. My connection with the Universe and my self.

Then we talked about what being wealthy felt like.
I knoLw what being happy feels like. Like peace and a light pouring through me. But what does being wealthy FEEL like to me?

Turns out it is a warm, sensuous flow, like floating in a current of the hot springs. So lovely.

***********

This practice was helped yesterday with a quote from Abraham Hicks. "Your action has nothing to do with your abundance! Your abundance is a response to your vibration."

Abundance isn't frantically doing - it is BEING, growing, connecting.

I had a great day! I hope you do too.
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... Using the Tools I have

Today I am going to practice using the tools I have.

And this breaks out into two parts, actually.

One part is doing the actual practice. Applying myself to the guidelines I think will work. Doing it the way I have set out for myself - because how will I know it works unless I do it that way?

And yes, I feel a little silly needing to follow a how-to on daily cleaning, self-care, and getting my work done. BUT...

If I don't keep track, if I don't write down, if I don't start with "getting the knife out of the drawer", I don't remember what works. Then I spend precious minutes trying to remember what comes next.

This is something I have long accepted about myself - but something I often forget. (ha ha.) No matter how intensely I wish to remember, regardless of how logical the steps are, if it's not written down, the next day I don't have a clue.

So, today I am going to PRACTICE doing it the way I have written down. I am going to take notes. I am going to be aware of what I like and what I don't. And I am going to accept that this is the most efficient way for me.

The Second part of using the tools I have is using ALL the tools I have to hand. I have 2 or 3 (or 12) different note taking possibilities in my phone. Some are more convenient than others AT SPECIFIC TIMES. Some work better than others for immediate recall.

I have different journaling options, different likes and dislikes on specific thought processes - but I also have a habit of not really reviewing things I've written on paper, as opposed to in the computer.

I have 3 different spaces I can use to work in. I have various options for exercising my body and relaxing my mind and feeding my soul.

 It's time to play with all my toys, and see what really works in each situation.

So today I am going to practice using all the tools I have, diligently, with attention to my details, my truths, my abilities.

What tools do you have?

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - All 5 Steps

Today I am going to practice all 5 of the following steps: breathing; allowing; accepting; invisioning; starting.

Breathing - Just taking that moment to be, to breathe, to expand past the feelings of constriction and pressure. Breathing connects me with myself, and pushes away the perceived expectations.

Allowing - allowing the moment, the task, the action, the event to be what it is; no more and no less than what it is. Without the coloring of expectations or old opinions, what is this moment and how do I feel about it?

Accepting - What do I want to do with this moment, this task? Can I do it? What abilities can be used, what cannot?

Invisioning - seeing myself taking the action; feeling myself using the abilities I have, making the necessary changes; being the action.

Starting - getting up, or sitting down, and physically beginning the action. Taking that first step and the one after. Put things in motion.

Repeat as needed.

This is not "Just Do It". "Just do it" does not work for me. "Just do it" has me at a desk full of piles, and a sink full of dishes, and to do lists spread all over the place. "Just do it" has increased my tension and constriction.

I want to get things done, oh yes, but first I have to start. Somewhere I have to start. And I want to start so many different things. I want do so many different things.

So I am going to practice, for each thing that I want, all 5 steps.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... Avoid Facebook (right after this post)

Today, for my sanity, I am going to avoid reading Facebook.

More specifically, TONITE I am going to avoid Facebook.

I had my first Happiness seminar today - which means I got to expound on the reasons I believe we all have the right and the responsibility to choose for ourselves and let others choose for themselves.

Basically, I was well entrenched in Lila Land.

So, I thought I would rest my brain, and allow it decompress, by perusing FB and giggling at Kittens and participating in the joy of others' lives.

Instead I found myself yelling at the screen - "But that's not what I've taught you!"  "Weren't you listening?"  "Choose for yourself!" and other niceties.

Then I remembered none of those posters had been at my seminar.

And yeah, even if they had, they still get to choose how to express themselves. But seriously, weren't they listening?!!!

Oh, wait. Not applicable.

So, I'm avoiding Facebook until my brain is back in balance.

Or until the rest of the world adopts my happiness practices.

Hmm.

I hope you're having a great and happy day,

Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - A Civil Tongue

Today I am going to practice the habit of a civil tongue.

With all the shouting going on in all the various forms of media, it is so tempting to jump up onto my soapbox of perception and add my voice to the din. "hear me! My opinion matters!"

And it's true. My opinion matters just as much as and just as little as every other person's on this planet.

As a writer and a witness, I do feel called to express that opinion - to perhaps advocate for or represent those who are so tired of the din we just want to go back to our quiet lives and hope the world doesn't implode. To make sure that the soft, tired, still trying and still believing and undispruptive voice is represented.

But I want to be able to reread my posts and feel proud, feel that I modeled my values of accepting everyone's point of view, everyone's fear, everyone's need, as valuable and equal. I want to express the core of the quiet, believing individuals. I want to speak, and be heard, without using the tools that incite the fear and despair I am hoping to heal.

So I am going to practice and practice, and write and rewrite. And it may never see the light of the computer day - in fact, I actually hope it won't. I hope that by the time I have it worked through properly (say a week?) the world will be more full of quiet voices and less full of the fear, the despair, the brains driven mad by a need to express and only finding one violent outlet.

I hope that by the time I have a well written civil post, it will be passe. Oh, I so hope.

But I am going to keep practicing. Because I am changing the world and I am starting with me.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - Love before Money

Today I am going to put love before money. (audio version on clyp.com)

Yeah, I'm a little surprised too. One would think that was an inherent part of happiness - "Do what you love, and the money will follow." (Marsha Sinetar*)

But of course there is that whole aspect of, well, what do I love?

And the follow up - I love a lot of things! Upon which one shall I focus?

And then there's the - but I need the money now in order to have the strength to figure out what I love to do.

And yeah, I've been working through all that. Slowly and steadily.

But, interestingly, today's practice is a little more literal.

You see, I've been doing my daily work in the mind set of - do your chores, and then you can play. Because, yes, my work feeds me.

But the admin work (the chores) is very draining. I don't know why; I imagine that will reveal itself when I figure out how to do the chores effortlessly. But I do know that the admin requires so much focus and energy and pushing myself to do it, that I then take long breaks and I don't get to the stuff I really want to do.

The admin work - paying bills, bookkeeping - the money.
The rest of the work - practicing for seminars, website, writing - the love.

I have been doing the love (or hoping to do the love) after the money.

This week I'm going to practice doing the love before doing the money. I am proposing to myself that the energy high, the being fed on doing the work, will carry me through doing the money. In fact, energetically that makes so much sense - because money is inherently grounding. And a lot of the work I do is energy work. Grounding myself before I've had a chance to even take off really makes it difficult to do anything but watch television and try to search for ways to get myself motivated.

To put it another way - I'm going to eat dessert first. And the sweetness will require that I then eat the main course - savory and salty and possibly even a little spicy - to put myself back in balance.

Oh, wow. Again - that might work literally! I love spicy food, but I've been having a problem eating it lately. Maybe I can try that "backwards" also!

Oh yeah! Do, eat, work at, take flight with what I love. And let the money, the earthiness, the grounding follow.

I am excited for today!  I hope you have a great one too.

-Lila

*the quote is attributed to Marsha Sinetar, according to brainyquote.com

Today's Happiness Practice - allowing and accepting

Today I am going to allow things to be what they are and accept how i feel about them.

I have been thinking a lot about choices and actions and personal truths. But today's truth is, sometimes things don't need action. Or even choice. Things are.
 Moments are.
We are.

And maybe a moment or thing or place or person invokes the feeling of unhappiness, but first I have to accept that that is how I feel. How can I make a true choice about my happiness until I allow the moment to be what IT is; until I accept the (perceived) truth of it?

 Likewise, the expectation that I will need to "work" through a moment can hide the truth of it. Walking around projecting the persona of MYSELF with all  my unique quirks is no more truthful or happy than trying to believe something so someone else will approve. And I can't force myself to be happy or mindful or empathetic or judgmental or disconnected. I know that truth changes. People change. Moments change.

Enlightenment is awesome - and it is true knowledge of self.
It is allowing that some moments don't need any work. any action. any choice.

Just acceptance. Just allowance.

Today I am going to practice allowing - moments, people, myself - to just be.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... What works? Really.

Today I am going to explore what really works for me.

I waffle back and forth and over and under, through a variety of organizational and time management options. And I still don't feel I have a handle on how I work - on how I best prepare and administrate.

The actual classes and coaching and teaching and mentoring and singing and being in the happiness moments are, well, easy.
But I have learned this last week that a really good moment requires more attention than just that  moment. It requires rehearsal. Acknowledgement of areas that need practice. Preparation. Planning. What is that saying? "Proper planning prevents poor performance."

Hmm, I'm going to have to change that, so the focus is on amazing performance. OH!

"Proper Planning Presents a Powerful Performance."  Ha!

Maybe that's the way I work. As if everything is a performance - because it is. I am performing an action of some type or another, whether I am paying bills or mentoring clients.

And performance does require practice. And proper care of instruments. And...

Okay, it doesn't sound exactly right, but it does sound like one step closer.

Maybe not, how is it a performance? But how do I want it to perform? I want the household to run smoothly. As smoothly as a seminar.

So today I am going to explore what works for me in areas I do want to do the work, and how I can apply that practice to areas in which I haven't quite found the happiness connection.

I hope you have a great, and powerful, day.

-Lila

A Song in the Darkness

Today, friends and I talked about "Being Strong Enough."

That's not how we phrased it, of course, but it's the painful meaning that comes through the words. Because there is this underlying belief - and, if you're like us, you probably feel it too - that "I should" be able to handle this, or that. That "I should" be able to overcome this pain and that self-doubt. That "I should" be strong minded enough to conquer the depression, strong hearted enough to quit thinking of my issues, strong willed enough to manifest a perfect life for my family.

Oh yeah, and for myself.

And when the muscles of will and mind and heart break down under that constant burden of should, what do we do and where do we turn? Because, yeah, we can tell each other to find someone to talk to, to look into medication, to get "me time;" and we may promise each other we will do those important things. But when we're alone...

When I'm alone, in the darkest hour of the night, and I feel like I can hear all the thoughts of all the people and maybe I'm not sleeping but at least it's not the next day yet, please don't let it be tomorrow yet because this day is done and I don't want to face another, and I just can't do it alone, but I can't make myself reach for that hand because I don't even know WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!!! and it's too dark to see the hand anyway and why should they care because I'm not strong enough and I've failed...

When I am alone and I allow the thoughts to over run me, when I am too tired to fight anymore and I am "weak" enough to hear all of my fears and anxieties - not even admit them or fix them, just hear them -  I reach the eye of the storm.

And in that stillness, first I hear my heart beat.

Sometimes it's a disappointing sound, because I know the sun will shine again and I'll walk through another day.

And sometimes it's a triumphant sound. Because I KNOW the sun will shine again and I WILL walk through another day.

And sometimes, the best times, it's just a sound. A beat. And a measure of breath.

And my breathing is actually a sigh timed to the drum beat. Beat. And sigh. And beat. And sigh.

And the deeper I breathe, the deeper the beat feels, until it touches my blood. Which is a flowing whoosh. 

A beat. A sigh. A whoosh. So peaceful. So absorbing. Beat. Sigh Whoosh. Sigh. Beat. Beat. Whoosh.

Such a perfect harmony to the hum of the neurons.

Hum. Whoosh. Sigh. Beat.

Beat.

A beat that is so deep, so full, so profound it can't be my heart. It can't be simply my heart. It's so much bigger than my heart.

An Infinite heart, beating in time with mine.

A Compassionate breath, sighing along with mine.

A Nourishing blood, whooshing around with mine.

An Accepting neuron, humming along with mine.

Sparkling, dancing neurons, like stars in the firmament. The vast, Omnipresent firmament. So deep, so encompassing, so full of every moment and every being and every thought.

So Nourishing and Compassionate and Infinite. And strong.

Hear that heart beat, beat. So strongly. Wrapped around me. Connected to me.

To which I am connected.

Of which I am a part.

Which means I am not alone.

Which means I don't have to be strong enough to do it alone.

To fix it alone.

To bear it.

Because my heart does not beat alone. It is only one part of the rythym section. My breath does not sigh alone; it is in a chorus. And my blood whooshes with others, shivering strings on a harp. And my neurons, oh my neurons hum in melody with a godzillion other stars.

All the strength I need is the strength to hear my heart beat.

I hope you can hear the song.

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... Finding my Center

Today I am practicing finding my center.

I was going to say finding my balance, but that almost implies standing still. Pausing on the tightrope. Wobbling in the air.

And I am moving forward. And/ or up.

But I want to remember to breathe.
I want to stay connected to my physical self.
I want to maintain all the practices that brought me to this new height of feeling.

So I am practicing staying in touch with my center. And I think the discovery is, is it my heart? Or my diaphragm? Where in the physical body is my center? Where does my balance and connection happen?

I don't think it's just one spot, one core. It may be the whole body. I don't know. So I am going to practice and I am going to discover my center.

Today is going to be an interesting day!

I hope you have a great one,

-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - Practice

Today I am going to practice all of it.

Today I am in a most delightful situation - at a conference, gathering, retreat, hang out and get steeped in my peoples; I am at the Threshold Choir International Gathering. An event where one is expected to break out into song, and be in meditative contemplation - often at the same time!

Learning, singing, teaching, being around curious growing harmonic persons. And there is green, life filled nature outside my window. Pretty close to Nirvana for me.

I could easily slip into an enjoyment vortex - just let myself float on the music and the love.

But then I wouldn't really enjoy it. I wouldn't really be a part of it. And I certainly wouldn't be able to contribute my share of teaching, learning, and harmony.

So I am going to practice breathing. I am going to practice being myself. I am going to practice self-care. I am even going to practice moderation! (Well...)

When I feel myself becoming twitterpated (so easy to do with all these voices and experiences and song writing skills), I am going to step back, slow down - yup, doing it right now - and breathe. I am going to return, reconnect with my inner self. I am going to check my shields, receive only when I want, give only when I want, drink water, and remember my peeps.

I am going to stand with and be with, play with and sing with. Not to, or from, but WITH.

Today, I am going to practice being the best full, connected, breathing, calming, healing, singing, learning, wry, explorative, curious, spiritual, happy, healthy, wealthy me I can be.

I hope you have a great, full day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... Keeping track

Today I am keeping track - of how I feel after specific events.

I am at the airport. As always, my carry on is heavier than expected. And the CPAP machine is a flaming nuisance.

Being concerned about security, I was pleasantly surprised to find the lines relatively short.  I knew 1 set of lines was shorter, but a longer walk. So I asked myself which way I wanted to go.

Myself said B.
But the security Lady said A.

So I followed the security lady. Upside, I got to compliment a window washers work. Downside, it was a long, confusing walk.

And now that I'm finally sitting down, wondering if my heavy carry on will actually fit under the seat with the CPAP machine, I'm reminding myself to trust myself next time. For my health and happiness!

No judgment, just awareness.

I am also practicing (though it may not seem like it) allowing the situation to be what it is without whining. My bag will fit where it fits. I won't know until I try. I will remember to take the medical device off the plane with me.

And it is going to be an amazing weekend.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice - Whatcha gonna do about it now?

Today I'm going to do something about it.

As my brain tries to paralyze me with anxiety and infinite possibilities, I am going to respond with actions.

For example, my car was wouldn't start yesterday.

Part of me is fine, and calm, and connected.

And part of me is running in circles, freaking out. Oh my god! the money.  Oh my god! how am I going to get places? Oh my god! I MUST keep these very important appointments. OH MY GOD!  (who is responding -  Quit Shouting! I can hear you!)

Happily, I have enough practice to know what to do. I present myself with options.

Worried about money? Work on the Intro to Happiness Seminar. Apply for another job. Balance the check book so I have knowledge of what is currently available.

Appointments? Check out my options. Look up Uber. Look up Cab companies. Look up bus schedules.

Want a new car? Look up those options. Get information. Schedule a test drive.

Action helps bleed out the anxious energy and gives focus to the area of concern.

Today I have a plan of action.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Today's Happiness Practice... Stop

Today I am going to stop when I told myself I would stop.

Today has been a very productive day; I have done so much. But OH! the list of things still to do. And the piles of sorting to do. And the writing and planning and projects and newsletters and....

But I told myself that I could stop at 5. (Yeah, it's actually 5:15 now.)

So I am going to stop. I am going to post this and change out of my happy work clothes and into my happy at home clothes and I am going to take a break and then do something other than work. Because I love my work, but I do get to stop. Before I drive myself into a ferocious headache trying to WILL everything into being done before dark.

I am going to let whatever's left be done tomorrow.
Or the next day.
 As there is time.

I have done what I could today.

And now I'm going to stop.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila